Love is emotional and marriage is rational. I realized I wanted to marry my wife when I wanted to hang with her doing just about anything over anyone else I previously knew. I think if you’re not friends first it’s going to be tough later on.

The “What are you going to do to change?” line was the final straw. It was all about her,everyone else was a bit player in the skit.

I ate a lot of crow post breakup, all my friends that I cut out of my life especially the last year of being with her I made a point of personally apologizing to them, both male and female.

That was another thing, there was jealousy from her when I saw a female friend either platonic or that I had dated in the past. But the other way around, now that was different in her eyes.

The funny thing was, post breakup there was some remorse and sorrow from me but a large part of that was that I felt like I wasted almost three and a half years of my life for that lesson of what not to in a relationship.

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Originally posted by shovelhead:
The funny thing was, post breakup there was some remorse and sorrow from me but a large part of that was that I felt like I wasted almost three and a half years of my life for that lesson of what not to in a relationship.

That brings to mind what one friend said to another, “I’ve slept with some mistakes, but I didn’t marry them.”

Three and a half years is a chunk of life, but it could have been longer, more painful, and more expensive.

By the time I reached my 40´s, I had been married and divorced three times. The first one failed because I was an immature asshole; the second due to my wifé’s post-partum psychosis and my third ran off with her skiing instructor.

After about ten years of happy single life, on my 50th birthday, I met a lovely, mature woman who’d also had three failed marriages. Because of my reputation as a rake, her friends discouraged her from ever meeting me, much less dating!

I am now in my 84th year… we lived together for thirty years! Then finally, after a self-described thirty year engagement, we formally married.

Now, after four years of marriage, we could not be happier! One could say that, at least in our case, the fourth time is the charm!

What contributed to the success? I think mutual respect, caring for and about each other during the best and worst of times, and finally, that impossible to define characteristic - ❤️ LOVE!

I pray that all who read this are able to achieve that which I have found in my life. Good fortune to you all!

Sad part, others around me saw it but most said nothing until the dust settled. At least there were no “I told you so” from them. Just the consensus “You wouldn’t have listened anyway”

There are few things that I claim expertise - however, this one is mine to claim. I have been with my wife ever since we were in junior high school. That means I have 64 years of experience with this woman!

We were perfectly matched when we were 16 years old and totally incompatible when we were early thirties. Now, at 80 years old we are again back to perfectly matched. She has been totally four or five different women during that time and she says I have been more like a half-dozen different men. That makes for a very bumpy ride over the years!

The question is not so much as to why marriages fail as it is why some couples can go thru all the storms and still hang together!