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I got divorced at the end of 2013 at the age of 41. I was traveling internationally about 50% of the time back then. That offers both opportunities and complications

First was friends of friends and social media. I actually met a lot of people on Asian social media apps that are not dating apps but you can see people nearby and send greetings. A little later I tried an actual dating site (Match.com) for a while. I dated someone I knew through work for a little while. Even though we did not work in the same area, it was awkward for me, given the general advice not to date people from work. We are still good friends though. A few years ago I tried Tinder, and for the past few years, I've used that, along with Bumble, sometimes Zoosk, Fiesta/Badoo, and OKCupid. Tinder has resulted in almost every app moving to a "swipe" format, with short text messages instead of the longer emails that used to be common in the past.

Apps really depend on where you are. I get a lot more hits when I travel and I am new to a location. But you have to sift through a ton of chaff, and lots of fakes/scams.

Mostly I've dated women younger than me, 8 to 16 years younger, of the significant ones. I also have a fair number of female friends that are sorta like platonic dates when I see them. They have friends, so if they think well of you, it might help you meet a friend.

I will say that dating at my age is strange. I'm 49 but generally pass for a bit younger, have one son half the time (joint custody) who is 17. Where I live, women my age generally look OLD and have 2-3 kids and often have grandkids already. And for some reason they think getting visible tattoos, "sleeves", and piercings to be like the "younger kids" will help them. It doesn't, and it makes them look pathetic. Younger women who are late 20's through 30's often don't have kids yet and are at the peak biological clock crazy time.

It certainly has been an adventure - highs and lows. My regrets is not understanding the hot crazy matrix earlier.

Hit up the dating apps. If you live near a mid/large city there will more a lot of others doing the same thing.

Your go on some crappy dates, your go on some fun ones, your meet people and have good and bad conversations.

Will you find the right one. Who knows but you will get yourself out there. As you meet people you met you learn to "read between the lines" of the profiles and get an idea of what you want to don't want.

Start going to places where you think people of the character you are looking for might hang out.

If it’s good time and a party - bars might be the right place.

If it is philanthropy and culture- museum fund raising and library events might be the ticket.

A great place to find someone is church. I met my wife there; we just celebrated 28 years.

I’d recommend that if you do online, go with a pay-site, like eharmony. Weeds out people just looking to score or bored. Lots more crazy on the free sites.
Eharmony is where I met my wonderful wife.

Went through plenty of crazies from everywhere else before I got to her. It’s a crapshoot no matter what method you pick.

My approach was to go with the flow and focus on kids/work and let it fall into place whenever it would. I was probably close to 2 years out before I did the Eharmony thing. I had gotten tired of the crazies from work/social circles/old girlfriends. Never did any other online sites, but I heard the stories.

All my friends sucked at picking matches, and I felt like a creeper trying to hit on women at the Piggly Wiggly lol

Live your life doing the things you enjoy. I was an active whitewater boater throughout my 20's and was a active member of a canoe club. It was at a club meeting where I met my wife of 35 years. Any sport or activity has clubs or group meets. I met more than a few women on group or club bicycle rides.

Not sure about where you're at, but around here, men who like dancing are greatly outnumbered by women. Maybe go take some dance lessons?

I can tell you where not to go to find company.

Bars and Churches. You tend to meet the same kind of women in both.

Steyn,

Great question. I found myself in the same spot two years ago when my wife of 30 years died.

The last time I had dated was before the internet or even mobile phones!

First it depends on what you're looking for. Do you want to find a relationship or date, or are you just looking to get laid?

If you are looking for companionship, then I'd check out Plenty of Fish (pof.com). That's where I found my GF. We've been together almost 2 years.

If you are just looking for sex, then check out the Tinder app or join a "swinger" service like adultfuckclub.com.

Please feel free to email me if you'd like to discuss.

Go to Church.

Join a gym.

Volunteer at a charity.

Don’t look for a woman. Be yourself. She will find you. It’s like fishing. You want your bait in the water but you don’t want to make a lot of noise in the boat.

Get into new hobbies that interest you and look for groups/clubs that share that interest.
After my Divorce I took up scuba diving and ended up with an entire new group of friends. Meetup.com was mentioned in an earlier post and is a great way to meet new people who share your interest.

Its been over 30 years for me and my wife and I are still best friends with people we met through the dive club.

Honestly, I'd take some time for you before you do anything. Friends that you have already, family and so on.
I got divorced in 2011 and jumped into something a few months after it was finalized. Life lesson learned.
You're younger than me though based on the age group you posted.
Now it's just me and the dog with an occasional visit from my daughter.

I've been married twice but have been single for the last ten years. As I think about it, the last time I was wrong about anything was ten years ago.

Just sayin...

You could do what my boss is doing. He's just split with his wife and he's had probably a couple dozen dates in the last three weeks. He was showing me pictures of all these gals he's taking out for coffee or drinks and I asked him the same thing - "where in the hell are you meeting all these women?" I'm going to sound like a commercial here, but all he said was match.com. He had a female friend help him with his profile, was honest about what he was looking for, and he isn't much to look at, but the guy is quick to laugh and make others laugh. It's working.

It's 2021. Everyone's on the internet. Oh, and you know who you find in bars? Drunks. That's who you find in bars. No, not everyone, but your odds are awfully damned good.

^^^ Remember though, quality over quantity. If you put on your profile that you are looking for exactly what women say they want, you will get a good amount of hits. One issue with Match.com is how it reduces people to a list of stats - height, body type, religion, tobacco use, drinking, pets, etc. and then matches people based on their stats and desired stats in their prospective dates.

One thing to remember is not to settle too quickly to avoid being alone. After a long marriage there is an instinct to fill the missing part quickly. Men generally become more desirable as they age - if you have a good job, in good health, make a decent living, are not in jail/probation, and not a drug addict, you have a selective advantage. Plus, men can age in a way that makes them more physically attractive (think Sean Connery).

I've been fortunate to date some very attractive younger women - enough that coworkers and business partners are amazed and in some cases quite envious.

I had (she passed away) an older lady friend whose husband had passed away years earlier.

She was so funny, we'd talk about this subject and she'd reply "You think it's tough for a man? My experience dating a man at this age is they are either looking for a nurse or a purse."

Pretty dang funny, she was, most definitely a riot to have around.

A nurse or a purse, lol.

I miss her friendship tremendously.
.

quote:

Originally posted by x0225095:
Go to Church.

Join a gym.

Volunteer at a charity.

Don’t look for a woman. Be yourself. She will find you. It’s like fishing. You want your bait in the water but you don’t want to make a lot of noise in the boat.

Good advice right here

quote:

Originally posted by OKCGene:
She was so funny, we'd talk about this subject and she'd reply "You think it's tough for a man? My experience dating a man at this age is they are either looking for a nurse or a purse."

I can tell you from experience from when I was divorced from my first wife, this is pretty much what women over the age of 30 are looking for:

A free ride. They want someone with money who will let them stay home and be a housewife.

I told women I was an electronic technician and went everywhere in old Levis with patches on them and T-Shirts.

When I met the soon to be Mrs. Flash #2, I was at a Ham Radio meeting and it turns out she was a Ham.

Later on when things got serious I told her I was actually an Electronic Engineer and told women I was a technician so I'd automatically get rid of the ones looking for a free ride. I fully expected her to come unglued because I'd lied to her about my occupation.

So what did she say after I told her I was an Engineer?

"And you go to work dressed like that??????"

She went out and bought me a whole new wardrobe.

[quote]I can tell you from experience from when I was divorced from my first wife, this is pretty much what women over the age of 30 are looking for
A free ride. They want someone with money who will let them stay home and be a housewife.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Really? Perhaps it is the women you seek. Those with a high school diploma or GED maybe. Maybe the World War II generation.

Are you into detail oriented and analytical things? Don’t laugh, but take a fun class that has a high ratio traditionally of females to males. You would be surprised how many (straight) men are into, for example, quilting. We had one guy (an engineer) in my quilting classes with a whole bunch bunch of educated nice looking women, including one who is a surgeon.

I know very few women who want a free ride and to stay at home. As a matter of fact, in dealing with clients it is commonplace for the wife to make more money than the husband.