I’ve always been an animal lover. I’m not the sort to cook meals for them, or let them sleep in my bed…animals and animals and people are people, and I believe each have their place…but I enjoy their company and like having them around.

My wife and I got Cheyenne 17 years ago. We’d been married just over a year, were 21, and had just bought our first house. We wanted a dog, and visited the local shelter just to “see what they had.” Of course that never works. Cheyenne was tiny…probably not even quite old enough to be away from her mother. While all the other dogs were freaking out in their cages, she just sat there and looked at me. We got her out and played with her a bit, and of course after doing that we had no choice…she came home with us.

She was a typical puppy…kind of a terror. She got into stuff, tore things up, etc. but she was smart and learned quick. And she loved to play…she’d chase a ball for hours, and was an expert at catching it in the air or on the bounce. As she got older, and we started having kids, she spent most of her time outside, but was also housebroken and came inside frequently. She was awesome with the kids…she loved being around them, and never once growled or snapped at any of them, no matter what they did. She also loved riding in the car and traveled great…no carsickness or anything like that.

As she got older, she started slowing down. She still liked playing with a ball, but couldn’t chase it as long. Eventually she developed arthritis in her hips, was almost completely deaf, and cataracts had clouded most of her vision. Nonetheless, she still wanted to take walks…just slower and shorter than before.

Monday night I heard her barking in the back yard so I went out to check on her and realized that she couldn’t stand up. She’s had a lot of hip trouble, so I was hoping that if we brought her in and let her rest she’d get better overnight. We made up a bed in my wife’s studio and brought her inside. She was sleeping when I left for work at 5:30 Tuesday morning, so I didn’t wake her up. When I got home, she was even worse and could barely sit up or raise her head. My son told me he’d had to carry her outside to use the bathroom because she couldn’t get there on her own, and she didn't really go.

Tuesday night was bad. I woke up around 1:30 because she was yelping. I went in and sat with her and she calmed down, but it was clear that she was in a lot of pain. Around 3:00am I decided I couldn’t just let her continue in pain, so I went to the safe and got out a gun. I went back and sat with her some more trying get up the nerve to do it, but I just couldn't. My wife had woken up and came out and joined us. We finally got her to calm down enough to go to sleep around 5:00am. We stayed with her until morning, and I called the vet when they opened at 8:00. They told me they couldn’t get us in until 2:00.

It was a horribly long day. She could barely move, but clearly wasn’t happy unless we were with her. If I sat with her, she was calm, and I’d even get the occasional tail wag. It was a beautiful day, so we took her outside and laid her in a spot in my wife’s flower garden where she always liked to nap in the sun. We took turns sitting with her. I stayed with her all through lunch, and she ate half of my burger. I hardly ever let her eat people food because she had a tendency to get sick from it, but that day she got anything she wanted. After lunch I sat with her until the time came and the kids had to say goodbye, and I carried her to the truck and my wife and I took her to the vet. She managed to lift her head up some as we drove, and really seemed to be enjoying the car ride. I was bawling so bad I probably shouldn’t have even been driving.

At the vet, everything went quietly. I stayed with her though the whole thing, and was petting her when they put the IV in and when they gave her the shot. She was calm through the whole thing and never even flinched…she just stopped breathing. I’ve put down a lot of animals the other way, but never like this. Shooting them can be painless if done properly, but it’s unquestionably more violent and stressful, and it was definitely easier to see her go peacefully.

I’ve never had to put down a pet before. I was an absolute wreck…more even then when elderly family members have passed. With people (at least adults), they kind of know what is going on, and it just sort of plays out to its ultimate conclusion. With an animal, they don't understand. They're scared, and all you can do is try to comfort them and assure them it's going to be ok…right up until you take their life. She was clearly fighting to live, even at the end, but she trusted me enough to let me take her in there and let them kill her without complaint. Cognitively, I know it was the right thing to do, but damn it feels like the ultimate betrayal .

Sorry to dump this on everybody…I'm not really looking for sympathy and I know there's not really anything you guys can do…it just helps to get it all out there and process it. I know there are others here who have gone through the same thing, and that you guys understand.

Here are a few pics from happier times (back when I had a desk job and was a lot younger and fatter, too). She was a good dog, and 17 years is a great run…we’re going to miss her.

So sorry Brother. Great that you stayed with her to the end. Hard to do, but important I think, for you and her.

Very, very sorry. Such a beautiful girl. They mean so much to us. Sounds like you guys had a wonderful life together. You guys will carry her memory forward always.

I feel your pain. We had to put down our 12 year old Golden on Tuesday. He was a great dog and my bud.
Rod

My condolences, 92fstech

Sorry to hear it.

I’m so sorry for your loss. It does help to write things out to help you clear your mind and share it. And it helps us get to know her a little bit. My sympathies to you and your family on the loss of a beloved family member.

Cheyenne was a nice looking dog, actually a close resemblance to my dog Sophie! She enjoyed 17 years of good life on this earth which is a lot more than most dogs, but it sure leaves a void in our life when they're gone.

I am sorry to hear that and my sympathy is with you and your family. I tend to bond closely with my dogs due to a wild distrust of people.

It's been two years since we put our Iris down and I still remember how tough her last day was. I also remember we gave her a good life as you did your Cheyenne. She got 17 years of love and affection. Remember that part.

There also is a dog or cat out there that needs someone to give it a lifetime of love and affection. That someone can be you.

We've had that happen several times and it's always a terrible experience. The helpless feeling, not being able to fix the problem, is a big part even knowing it's just part of the cycle of life.
Once it's over there is some comfort in knowing you did the right thing but the loss is still very painful.

Sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences.

Sorry for your loss. Remamber all the goodtimes ya'll had.

So sorry for your loss.

I went through almost exactly what you went through. For weeks, it still hits me. It just hit me now reading the events as they unfold. We got a new puppies a few months later...house was just too quiet without the pitter patter of those paws.

You will get one when you are ready. Until then, grieve as you should. We human really don't deserve the love of dogs.

quote:

We human really don't deserve the love of dogs.

That's definitely the truth, and I've always believed that, but I'm not sure I really fully understood it until yesterday.

Oh no! I'm so sorry!

Ollie and I send our sincere condolences and wish you the best.

A fine long life! My condolences.

Condolences...