Originally posted by Ryanp225: Chuck Norris can go #2.........while standing!
That's easy. . .all you have to do is wait until you reach that certain age.
God's mercy: NOT getting what we deserve! God's grace: Getting what we DON'T deserve!
"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
Bob P239 40 S&W Endowment NRA Viet Nam '69-'70
October 12, 2019, 05:33 PM
KHolm
Chuck Norris can cut a hot knife with butter.
Isaiah 54:17 - No weapon formed against us shall prosper....
What do I want? A time machine. When do I want it? Irrelevant.
September 28, 2021, 09:51 AM
Krazeehorse
Chuck Norris has been exposed to the Coronavirus ….
The virus is now in quarantine for 2 weeks.
_____________________
Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
September 28, 2021, 10:39 AM
Rey HRH
Chuck Norris jokes never get old. Just like Chuck Norris.
"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
September 28, 2021, 11:31 AM
2000Z-71
Some kids pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name into concrete.
My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball.
September 28, 2021, 02:53 PM
dsiets
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now just “the Islands.”
September 28, 2021, 02:58 PM
rsbolo
Chuck Norris can start a fire with a magnifying glass...
at night.
____________________________ Yes, Para does appreciate humor.
From Expendables 2: A rattlesnake bit Chuck Norris. After two days of agonizing pain, the rattlesnake finally died.
quote:
Originally posted by 12131: Friday saves Thursday from Chuck's wrath because it ran out of space for Norris jokes.
I don't get this one.
"I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes"
September 15, 2022, 01:39 PM
Krazeehorse
When Chuck Norris tells a joke about Will Smith's wife, Will Smith slaps himself.
_____________________
Be careful what you tolerate. You are teaching people how to treat you.
September 15, 2022, 02:32 PM
jaaron11
Chuck Norris knows where Page 404 can be found.
J
Rak Chazak Amats
September 15, 2022, 03:08 PM
kkina
There are two ways to become a Navy SEAL: Option A is 6 months of BUD/S, the toughest military training in the world, or Option B, 6 minutes with Chuck Norris.
To date, no-one has passed Option B, because no-one has ever chosen Option B.
Walker Texas Ranger’s opening song was by Tirk Wilder. Tirk was my friend way back in 1980-ish in Oklahoma City, he performed every Friday and Saturday night at a small club where myself and a bunch of others listened to him play and drink beer, lol. He was a gifted guitarist and vocalist. It was so much fun. We pumped a lot of money in his tip jar. I lost track of Tirk some years later when he moved out of State. I was so surprised and delighted when he hooked up with Chuck Norris and his show. I think some time later Chuck did the opening song.
This sure brings back a lot of really good memories.
.
September 15, 2022, 09:28 PM
egregore
September 15, 2022, 10:35 PM
OKCGene
^^^^^ And when Chuck eats a bowl of Alphabet Soup, all the words come out properly spelled and grammatically correct. .
September 16, 2022, 07:25 AM
IrishWind
quote:
Originally posted by ruger357: Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pees.
No. That is Stevan Seagal. But that is a separate thread.
Back on point:
Lord, your ocean is so very large and my divos are so very f****d-up Dirt Sailors Unite!
