quote:

Originally posted by PASig:


We just saw an article about the effect of "screen time" on young brains and it's not good, not good at all. Basically ruins the development of young minds and gets them addicted.

This. Our 2.5 year old has never watched TV or played on a phone or tablet. All of our friends say "Well, our kids turned out fine" but imagine if they read books or played outside instead of playing on their little screens all the time?

My older brother, the ultra intelligent engineer who thinks he knows everything got his 12 year old daughter an iPhone that he thought he could “police”.

Dumbest shit he ever did.

quote:

Originally posted by Dresden:
Proper parenting is the app that I would use. If your child has been raised correctly, you wouldn't need to spy on him. Jus saying. . .

It's quite obvious you haven't done that successfully yourself. jus sayin.

quote:

Originally posted by Dresden:
Proper parenting is the app that I would use. If your child has been raised correctly, you wouldn't need to spy on him. Jus saying. . .

You do know he could be a victim of someone right? It’s not all about his lack of behavior.

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
Our Pact is what you are looking for. It allows the parent total control and transparency. You can restrict access to any application (including Safari and other browsers), monitor app use, set time limits for use, etc.. You can make all apps disappear and reappear at the swipe of a finger on your own device.


The biggest thing is to resist the request for social media that will soon follow. Snapchat, Instagram, etc....don't allow them. My kids are 12 and 15, both were the last among their peers to get phones (both got them entering middle school). My 15 year old just got his 1st social app, Instagram, and my wife both follows his page and has his log in info.

Set the understanding up front that there is no expectation of privacy and an expectation that all activity will be monitored.

Thank you for answering my question and not telling me how to parent my kid. I’m well aware of what screen time can do to kids. He earns his screen time, he’s a good kid. Honors and gifted class honor roll, Upper level travel baseball, swim team, active in his youth group at Church. He doesn’t have time to veg in front of a screen unless it’s in his small window of free time.

He knows if any of that slips, he gone as far as screen time.

Two more apps you might look at are “Bark” and “Kidslox”. I’ve been happy with them

quote:

Originally posted by smithnsig:

quote:

Originally posted by TXJIM:
Our Pact is what you are looking for. It allows the parent total control and transparency. You can restrict access to any application (including Safari and other browsers), monitor app use, set time limits for use, etc.. You can make all apps disappear and reappear at the swipe of a finger on your own device.


The biggest thing is to resist the request for social media that will soon follow. Snapchat, Instagram, etc....don't allow them. My kids are 12 and 15, both were the last among their peers to get phones (both got them entering middle school). My 15 year old just got his 1st social app, Instagram, and my wife both follows his page and has his log in info.

Set the understanding up front that there is no expectation of privacy and an expectation that all activity will be monitored.

Thank you for answering my question and not telling me how to parent my kid. I’m well aware of what screen time can do to kids. He earns his screen time, he’s a good kid. Honors and gifted class honor roll, Upper level travel baseball, swim team, active in his youth group at Church. He doesn’t have time to veg in front of a screen unless it’s in his small window of free time.

He knows if any of that slips, he gone as far as screen time.

No problem, your boy sounds a lot like my 12 year old right down to the high level baseball. He also gets straight A's in gifted and talented courses. He has had his phone several months and the sky has yet to fall, I am sure your boy will be fine too.

I lost my first daughter to the internet and then to a phone, and I lost my second to the phone. Their entire world is what’s coming out of that phone. I bet the addiction is up there with heroin.

It takes a good parent to control access to that phone so I hope your are up to the challenge.

Some of you act as though it is all or nothing.

I don't know if you all know this, but it is possible for kids to watch TV (or, "screens", which seems to be the new popular word) and also read books and do well in school.

But it might require you to actually be an active parent in your kids lives. And I know that is tough and all but if you are willing to be the adult in the relationship you just might be able to allow your kids to have a smartphone and still succeed.

My 11 year old has a smartphone. But because me and his mother are wiling to be adults we have set limits that keep him in check. The phone remains in his locker when at school and on the kitchen counter when at home. He has access to it but has been told to not use it outside of texting or calling me or his mom. I monitor his use and so far he has not used it for anything other than what we allow.

While owning a smartphone my son also plays in the band, plays football, is a member of the county archery team and is on the A honor roll while enrolled in all AP classes.

If you have had a different experience with your kids it does not mean that you are a bad parent or that you have a bad kid. To be clear, that is not what I am saying, But if you do have a good kid and you are a good parent it is totally possible to for a kid to own a smartphone and not have it ruin their lives.

For us, it was less about screen time than it was about interactions and conversations with people from -- like SF --- anywhere and everywhere. And it's very hard to see what's going on in that regard. iPhones are not conducive to transparency in that way. They're not meant to be family sub-tended. They are designed to be individualistic and private. And if you don't jailbreak them, in my searching - they seemed to not afford much control (protection). That may have changed. I still think your little ones are little once. Why pop them out into pintrest, blogspot, facebook, instagram blah blah blah. I think it seems the right thing to do. I did it, at 14. But I wish I didn't. That's my take and my experience. YMMV

quote:

Originally posted by Pale Horse:
Some of you act as though it is all or nothing.

I don't know if you all know this, but it is possible for kids to watch TV (or, "screens", which seems to be the new popular word) and also read books and do well in school.

But it might require you to actually be an active parent in your kids lives. And I know that is tough and all but if you are willing to be the adult in the relationship you just might be able to allow your kids to have a smartphone and still succeed.

....

If you have had a different experience with your kids it does not mean that you are a bad parent or that you have a bad kid. To be clear, that is not what I am saying, But if you do have a good kid and you are a good parent it is totally possible to for a kid to own a smartphone and not have it ruin their lives.

This to a T.

We have had similar experience and our son has a full ride to the school of his choice. The younger kids are in all honors classes and set to follow up to success.

It also helps introduce kids to the internet early, so you can mentor / explain the pitfalls of it.

People who simply shelter will find they have kids who are woefully unprepared for the real world, or worse they'll just get unlimited access from their friends phones while hiding it from you.