So my son needs a phone because of all the sports and extra curricular activities he does. He is aware that he will have little to no privacy.

What are the best monitoring apps? I want to know as much as possible about what goes on with that phone.

He is aware that I think he’s too young to have a phone, but it has become a necessity with our situation.

You can’t get him a basic phone to be able to contact him?

12 IMO is far too young to have the entire internet at his fingertips which he’ll have with this.

I can’t speak to what monitoring apps might be best, but find my iPhone is great for locating him, or even dinging his phone if he left it on silent.

Also, there is built in parental control. You can setup a different pin for master control. Restrict his ability to download apps, set time limits per app, block content, etc.

Good luck!

Proper parenting is the app that I would use. If your child has been raised correctly, you wouldn't need to spy on him. Jus saying. . .

Another idea I have heard mention of is that you share the unlock passcode with him, at least until he’s older. If he wants/needs/desires a phone he’d go with it. You leave it in the ‘no option’ realm.

Tell him you’d also have free will to answer it at any time, just like any home phone.

Please reconsider.

One of the bigger missteps we've had as parents, and ours were 14 when we did it. He'll have MUCH more privacy than you think. iPhones are very bad for providing transparency for parent. Get him a voice phone. Give him an iPad for other stuff and then at least you can control it at the DNS level and firewall level centrally.

Also, make the phone a SHARED family extra phone, not his. If you have other kids, it can be taken as a communication device when they go places without being a virtual-life in the pocket.

You do what you feel you must, but I cannot stress enough that there is a real potential for shit to happen and the control and visibility that you think you'll have will be less than you would imagine (in my experience).

quote:

Originally posted by Dresden:
Proper parenting is the app that I would use. If your child has been raised correctly, you wouldn't need to spy on him. Jus saying. . .

Good kids make mistakes too. But I kind of agree, yet think there's a maturity element to it. So you are correct, but only to the extent that the device is given to them when they are mature enough to handle it.

Remember there are grey areas where you want to protect them that aren't the obvious sexting, porn, hate kind of things. Like blogs where other kids chat (like we do), but other kids are not as well raised as your own. These devices are private little portals to the world, and to mind rotting games to waste time and cut into healthier activities. At 16 or 17 it's one thing, at 12, he's too young.

Perhaps you'll get the same eye-opener one of my docs did last week when he was using his 11 year old's iPad for something and opened Safari.

Fortunately he didn't have to enter his own search for "girl butts", there were already about 20 tabs open with prime examples.

If the phone is strictly for communicating -- voice calls and / or text messages -- a simple flip phone should do the job.

Less expensive, and fewer worries about monitoring online access.

Also, lower chance of being damaged during 12-year-old kid activities.

quote:

Originally posted by V-Tail:
If the phone is strictly for communicating -- voice calls and / or text messages -- a simple flip phone should do the job.

Less expensive, and fewer worries about monitoring online access.

I completely agree here. It sounds like a phone is necessary, but not a smart phone. He can get one of those when he has enough of his own money.

Our Pact is what you are looking for. It allows the parent total control and transparency. You can restrict access to any application (including Safari and other browsers), monitor app use, set time limits for use, etc.. You can make all apps disappear and reappear at the swipe of a finger on your own device.


The biggest thing is to resist the request for social media that will soon follow. Snapchat, Instagram, etc....don't allow them. My kids are 12 and 15, both were the last among their peers to get phones (both got them entering middle school). My 15 year old just got his 1st social app, Instagram, and my wife both follows his page and has his log in info.

Set the understanding up front that there is no expectation of privacy and an expectation that all activity will be monitored.

https://ourpact.com/

I control our kids mobile devices (ipads for the young'ins) using this. I have been using it since their Beta version about 2 years ago.

It's great, hands down. Get the premium option, it's not expensive and you can tailor exactly what they get to do, when.

quote:

Set the understanding up front that there is no expectation of privacy and an expectation that all activity will be monitored.

This. My kids can't erase their internet activity and I check it a couple times a month. I tell them if they click on something they shouldn't have, come tell me.

But ourpact is more about controlling the device / apps by setting time limits than snooping.

With that being said, kids are awful about taking care of expensive phones. For something to take to school, they are getting a cheap flip phone / voice only option.

quote:

Please reconsider.

I agree.
I understand that pay phones are no longer hooked up at the schools. I understand it might take a bit more effort to arrange ahead of time when/where to meet your child after practice.
But a 12 year old should not have an iphone, IMO.

We gave my oldest daughter her first cell phone when she went away to USNA.
Of course, they promptly took it away from her.
They did give it back after plebe summer...

Reconsider! I have witnessed the 11-12 yr old kids glued to their screens while crossing the street. That age group of youngsters simply do not need the power and access Iphones deliver.

Shared phone, a flip type communicator with text and voice only. This is the uncool parent, but responsible way to keep kids in touch.

I would get this, it's what we will get (or whatever is the equivalent when it's the time) for our children:

We just saw an article about the effect of "screen time" on young brains and it's not good, not good at all. Basically ruins the development of young minds and gets them addicted.

It does phone (voice) Walkie-Talkie and GPS tracking:

Relay

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
You can’t get him a basic phone to be able to contact him?

12 IMO is far too young to have the entire internet at his fingertips which he’ll have with this.

Couldn't agree more.

I don't see a problem with it as long as you trust your kid, have instructed them well and monitor activity and explain the ups and downs.

You can't leave them in a cocoon or play helicopter mom for their whole lives, a little
freedom and trust early on builds a stronger relationship.

They break that trust and you implement punishment, like real life.

Electronic communication is now ingrained in life, like it or not, it's better to deal with it than ban it, otherwise your 12 year old is going to find a way to get on those apps, perhaps being coerced by some other not so good kid with a phone.

As others have suggested, Our Pact is a good choice. It permits you to allow certain apps at certain times (very useful for permitting usage of required apps during school hours), block other apps entirely, and location track; and you can set up alerts for when the phone arrives at or leaves certain locations.

I understand the reluctance of some on the forum to provide a child of 12 to have an iphone, it can be a real boon when dealing with a latchkey child, in particular. Also, you have to bear in mind the variety of apps that schools use to communicate with middle school kids these days.

Need to train em early to spend 24/7 texting.

I have the iPads locked down using the built in parental controls. They are under screen time now.