quote:

Originally posted by bendable:

cops, fire fighters, teachers will have much better french benefits

Oui. Spellchecking software will be banned. Most of them are a bunch of shirt. Makes us say things we didn't Nintendo.

Cars will not drive themselves.

Dumb warning labels will not be allowed.

Loser pays all court costs of frivolous lawsuits.

All drivers license will require CDL style vehicle inspection and rigorous driver training.

Person(s) who get lost while camping/hiking will repay the local rescue effort. Even if it is unsuccessful.

Implementation of the Fair Tax.

Bullfighting would be allowed, as long as Sir Matador is blindfolded.

Dipshits who steal a car will be required to repair said car. Even if it cost $27,000 to fix an '89 Civic.

Gang members will be hung high at the public square at Noon or the next available time that is convenient for viewing.

Victims of homicide will have their family choose the punishment of those convicted. Use of fire ants and single slow piranha are encouraged.

1. I will put a moratorium on mass immigration, forever.

2. Declare MS-13 an invading enemy and send the military in to kill them where they stand.

3. Secure the southern border by any means necessary.

MSM will be barred from reporting that something "may happen" or "could cause" any consequence that cannot be proven by direct affect or extenuating facts.


any violators will be barred from live or headline news report and only allowed to be heard with OpEd disclaimer prior to their "news" release.

tymml

As Potentate i will instruct the Army Corp of engineers to build the wall. Construction will start at the southern boundary of California and Arizona then continue north along Nevada and finish up going west at Oregon. All le, military, and any rocket scientists will be evacuated prior to build date.
New York is on deck...

When a song I like is used in a medicine commercial, death.

All sentences for misdemeanors will be public canings instead of jail time.

All drugs.. legal. Get caught committing any crime with drugs in your system, death penalty. The problem will take care of itself.

Public executions in large stadiums. Anyone who shows up to watch gets it as was well. Sickos.

Driver education, mandatory ALL four years of high school. Spend whole semesters just on "right of way".

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:

quote:

Originally posted by Fdan:
5. Civics (not indoctrination) must be taught (and passed) before high school graduation - no exceptions.

It was that way when I was in high school.

My corollary to your #1 would be that the whiney guy on the hearing aid commercial ("$3000, $5000, whatever they can GET!") would be drawn, quartered, and strung up for the entire kingdom to see until his rotting corpse is picked clean by magpies. His bones would then be burned to ash and scattered in the landfill.

Our new Governor, former Congress critter Kristi Noem recently proposed in her State of the State address that high school students be required to pass the United States citizenship test prior to graduation. Big thumbs up here!

^^^^^ We were required to take and pass American History as juniors and Civics as seniors.

Good on your new Governor.

I'd make sure illegal immigration and all the crappy behaviour from it is so unappealing that no one would even have it cross their minds.

We would (as soon as possible) be globally competitive with our national education and abilities in STEM.

Work on fixing our living conditions here, and then serious funding would be put towards space exploration and colonization.

Sports teams will pay for their own fucking stadiums. They will receive no tax breaks.

Press 1 for English will be forbidden.

You guys think small. I’m not going to worry about the border...there won’t be a border, because I’m KING OF THE WORLD. The border will be the edge of the atmosphere, and that one will be well defended. Frickin lasers, man.

Caning will be instituted for all misdemeanor crimes. Public record will be expunged after sentence is executed, because it’s all done then. However secret records will be kept that know everything so while your neighbors don’t know about all your tickets for driving whilst pantless, I do. And plans are being made.

Also, the global anthem will be Cheesburger In Paradise. Just because. Next month, it’ll be Pump It Up, mostly to throw Elvis Costello a bone when I sweep Diana away. King needs a queen.

Hail to the King, baby.

All child molesters will be required to be in prison general population

All gang members will be executed immediately (after completion of above)

Maxine and Nancy participate in an ultimate death match

quote:

Originally posted by cherokee2u:
Maxine and Nancy participate in an ultimate death match

And the victor is convicted of treason and boiled in oil.

quote:

Originally posted by jhe888:
Beheadings are coming back.

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

Driving in the leftmost lane of the highway and pacing the car next to you will be punishable by a fine of $100 for each second you fail to get over and let the cars stacking up behind you pass.

Coming to a complete stop on the highway for anything other than a true emergency will result in a loss of driving privileges for five years. Stopping because you waited until the last minute and now you can't get over for your exit does not count.