Fortunately haven't had to deal with this in the past.
What does the group think is the going rate for clergy conducting funeral services?

I think it was a hundred bucks for Dad’s service in October. That was rural Alabama, i suppose rates can vary.

I paid 500 for my Mother's funeral which was also in rural Alabama. I wasn't just paying for the service, Pastor Morgan was at my Mother's hospital bed every day for quite a long time. He earned every penny I gave.

quote:

Originally posted by SigJacket:
I think it was a hundred bucks for Dad’s service in October.

Some will ask for a contribution of a specific amount, some will not ask at all. But I would say at least a $100 contribution would be appropriate. There are expenses you know.

My mother recently passed away. We had a small grave side service. I want to say we paid the preacher $60.00 or $70.00.

Did this for my Grandfather in October..

I donated $250 to the church/pastor for their time and also invited them to the reception at a restaurant afterwards...

My dad has never charged anyone. Sometimes families will give him something afterward but not always.

If I recall correctly a local funeral home tried to hire him to handle all the services in which the family needed a minister and they were going to pay him $100/service but he politely declined.

I think most Pastors will not ask but $100 should be the minimum. It is their vocation so figure out how much time they are there plus their prep time and pay accordingly. I think from $100-$500 is normal.

When my mother passed away, I gave a Love offering of $250 to our pastor. God Bless

Mom died 15 years ago so I'm leaving out the very dated amounts. It was a holiday weekend, and Mom's regular pastor was on vacation 3 time zones away. It was the first funeral for the back-up pastor and he didn't ask for any money for the funeral. I'm not sure if church policy or he didn't know to ask.

Leading up the the funeral, the funeral home director had several meetings with Dad and I, and during one he politely shared common etiquette for tipping (he called in an honorarium) the pastor, organist/pianist/musician, etc. and suggested a range. He even had a honorarium envelope that we ultimately used when handing the honorarium the pastor and musician.

As of Jan '23, the website Funeral Direct suggests an pastor's honorarium of $50 to $300 and has suggestions for organist/pianist/musician as well.

Please forgive my ignorance it has been a long time since I have attended church on a regular basis.

I was always under the assumption if you were a member of a congregation and a regular donor to the organization, why would you have to pay the Clergy for a service? I always thought this was part of being a member of the congregation.

Once again it has been a long time since I have attended church on a regular basis and things may have changed since then.

The funeral director tried to double charge us for services. That is something that you never forget. My father had prepaid. My uncle would not take money for a service. I consider accepting money to be in poor taste.

I didn't learn about this until the conclusion of my 17 year old brother's services, after he died unexpectedly in 1977. When the rabbi's associate approached me as we were walking away from the gravesite and informed me of this "tradition", I can hardly describe the anger I felt. I guess they have bills to pay, but the timing, the circumstances, and the lack of support actually provided by the rabbi (except at the gravesite) would remain with me for the rest of my life.

The Pastor has been a big support to my mom though the final stretch with my dad. She ended up sending in a check for a few hundred. In addition the family asked that donations be sent to the church instead of flowers per my dads wishes. So I am sure the church also fared pretty well.
Thanks to all that provided input. Just wanted to make sure we were in the ballpark.

In 2015... The funeral director handled this for my Dad's service. I had actually not thought of it. She brought it up and suggested adding $100 to her expenses to pass on to the pastor. I appreciated her discrete handling of a potentially awkward situation.

As for the Church Keyboardist and the Choir Director who played and sang at the service... Well, Dad was in the Choir for over 50 years and they were both decades long friends... it would have likely have offended both to even suggested any pay.

I think we gave the pastor $100 for my father's service a few years ago, in rural NC. And we also asked for contributions be given to the church, in lieu of flowers.

My Dad was a pastor for nearly 50 years. I am 100% sure he never charged a church member and I seriously doubt he charged anyone he knew. There is a chance he requested a small fee where a funeral home asked him to do a service for a random person/family that needed a minister.

quote:

Originally posted by ZSMICHAEL:
The funeral director tried to double charge us for services. That is something that you never forget. My father had prepaid. My uncle would not take money for a service. I consider accepting money to be in poor taste.

It's poor taste for a minister to take money for performing part of his vocation? Maybe I misread your post. If it's a regularly attending church member then it would be expected. If you think someone should give a few hours of their time for free for a stranger then I disagree.

Maybe you work for free for random strangers but I don't. Our society expects tips for menial things (like top jars at the drive through) yet don't want to pay clergy? Even if they don't ask for it, common courtesy is to offer it. Tell me, who else involved with the funeral wors for free? Do they dig the grave for free? Do they give the plot away for free? Is the headstone made for free? Do the people working for the funeral home donate their time to all these random families for free? Yet people expect clergy to work for free?

You have no idea. My statement was based upon comments by my grandfather who was a Methodist minister for 50 years and my Uncle who was also a pastor for 45 years.
I was a victim along with others of Hurricane Katrina. Thousands of volunteers were here for months helping us. They took not a penny.
Maybe you should ring the bell at Christmas or volunteer with the Salvation Army.

My Mom died from Covid during the peak . Graveside service was the only thing allowed . I slipped the Priest $100 I think .