Thought I put it here, maybe something I haven’t considered.

He’s 60, married 19 years, clean for over 20. Last Summer he had a surgery, ended up hooked on the pain pills. He went into a recovery program for 6 weeks, better for a while.

That was about two months ago, just recently I find out he’s heavily into drinking. He had problems earlier in life, rather serious.

I’m a mid-grade friend & hunting partner. His wife texted me, wants him to go into another program, he says no so far.

He has a pretty solid life, including upper level faith & spiritual connections with their church. His wife is really there, though anyone can reach a limit.

Besides the obvious, I may end up talking to him soon. He’s been a longtime counselor at a few jails. I don’t think a simple ‘scared straight’ talk will do much.

Just throwing it out there. Is it true, ‘they really have to want it themselves’? Wanting to do more than nothing if possible.

Talk to him sooner than later. See what part of his life he's unhappy about. Then express that people care about him and are worried about him and he has a problem. But that's all you can do, they have to want to stop taking pills or stop drinking.

Talk to him and listen. Love on him.

I’ll touch base later today.

From what you've said, he already knows the drill, knows what people like you will say to people in his position. Still, if you approach it with love and listening, you have a great chance to break through. Best of luck!

Many separate alcohol from drugs when it is the same.
Just as any addict in the grip of active addiction nothing will make them stop except themselves.

With help of others that have gone through it,
there is hope.
I'd suggest Narcotics Anonymous. It's not about the substance it's about the person.

Good luck, that's about all I can really offer.
He more than us, already knows the correct answers so there's not much to tell someone like that. Without his own willingness just don't get yourself too wrapped up in this because there is little you can really do for him and it can really drive you crazy.
If you feel otherwise, you may look into Al-Anon. It's for friends and family members trying to cope with an addict in your life (as opposed to AA which is for the addict).

Be a friend by talking to him but also at the same time listen to him more. As stated before he has to want to do it and get clean. . But for your friend just be there for him as much as you can. ..............drill sgt.

A little movement in a good direction. He & his wife are starting with a visit to the pastor tomorrow. It’s a church with resources along those lines.

She had wanted him to go off to a treatment program out of the area. The plan with the pastor is something anyway.

It’s been bad the last few days, including walking off when all the keys are hidden. One of his trucks is two hours away. I was gonna get it, the wife said wait a while.

Yes, he is familiar with treatment programs, kinda kicking himself for falling into this.

Maybe a little drive over to the twin cities area would be in order.

What’s in the Twin Cities??

Actually slightly North of there in Center City. These guys wrote the book on addiction treatment. Here is the link: https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/

The Sopranos actually made a joke about this when discussing Christopher's Coke problem. The AA guy told Chrisopher that if Tony{the Mob's boss} found out he was using again he would not get a plane trip to Minnesota, but wind up as mulch for the roses.

Boy that’s too bad. I’ll pray for him. I hope he finds peace.

quote:

Originally posted by sourdough44:

Is it true, ‘they really have to want it themselves’?

Yes. Very true.