My contact info is in my profile. Reach out to me and I’ll get you my phone number. If you’re in the Central Florida area we can meet up.

I’m retired PD and still do critical incident/PTSD work with PD & FD. Some of my writings on the topic can be found at inpublicsafety.com if you search for “Chuck Russo”.

To all the LEO’s, first responders, and hospital staff here, thank you. Every shift you take, might be the worst (or last) day of someone’s life. I can’t imagine the emotional strain. I hope I never call on you, but I know you’ll be there if I do.

You’ve dedicated to help others, please don’t forget to help yourself.


God bless.

Full-time FF/EMT here. My partner (we jokingly call each other work wife's) is dealing with a divorce that may be the result of behaviors attributed to PTSD, he is getting help and I think in the end will be better than he has ever been but it will take some time.

Between mental health issues and the big C, people in the fire service are definitely getting more than they bargained for. There are variations or other factors that make this just as relevant for those in LE, EMS/Healthcare and the military too. I can't add any more in terms of the resources that have already been posted but I wanted to applaud you for speaking up, it is not easy given the past stigma associated with these subjects. My email is in my profile if you ever want to talk.

I know what you mean about finding the right help. Our adopted daughter was finally diagnosed with PTSD (which given the Hell that was her life for her first four years makes sense) after we spent an entire summer having her tested for anything and everything, including learning deficiencies. She has no learning deficiencies but her PTSD has manifested itself in ways that have her a bit behind the curve in some areas and tutoring has helped with much of that. Now that we know it's not defiance disorder complicated by ADHD and now that we have the proper guidance and she has the proper counseling things are rapidly improving.

I guess what I'm saying is don't give up, it may take a while but if you're persistent help will come.

I was first on scene in a horrific crash back in 1988. I pulled in and the boy's dad was yelling at me to do something to save his son. I crawled into the crashed car and worked on the only patient alive while the rescue crew cut the roof off the car and drug the two dead bodies out over me.

Those two boys that died, and the one I helped save, were all friends of mine. The dad was a guy that coached me in little league baseball. I knew them all, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I turned in my gear that day.

I still think about that every time I go past that curve, which is every day. For several years, I smelled the inside of that car as I drove past.


PTSD? I don't know, but I know that call haunted me, and still does, and it's been 30 years.

To the original poster:

You're not alone....I give anesthesia. In the past I have worked at hospitals where we did a lot of sick people ( both medical and trauma).
I remember every person that has died on the OR table under my care. ( 30+ years)
Yes, it does haunt me and yes it has affected my life outside of the hospital. Yes, I wish I could forget.....
I feel that the only thing I can do is to learn from it. " What I would do differently or maybe learn and accept that some things are out of my control".... Prayer helps. mike

ffemt44 I am glad you made the call and are getting the help you need. PTSD is real in the fire/ems service. I am retiring at end of this month after 45 years for a rural fire/ems service and I've seen my share of it in one form or another. Please know that you can get through this and that we are all praying for you.

quote:

Originally posted by ffemt44:
Thank you all for the support. I am working with my company medical ESD team currently. However I will be in contact with green team and others if needed. Thank you all for caring. This invisible horror haunts many of us.

What a great forum. Glad your brothers in SigForum pointed you in the right direction.

I went through the same thing just recently. Was in the fire and EMS service for over 13 years. Have been out for about eight years. No issues until I have a kid and then started having horrible realistic night terrors involving me watching my son die in ways I have seen other folks die throughout my career.
I found a good person to talk to and they helped me through the terrors and now they are less often. Talking about it helped and I got back into working out and things that make me feel good. Feel free to message me anytime if you want to chat.
Trust me when I say you are not alone.

quote:

Originally posted by JohnV:
My wife is an excellent therapist and highly recommended EMDR as an effective and evidenced based treatment for PTSD. I’m sorry you are going through this but there is definitely hope. Prayers sent for you and thanks for your service.

I can affirm this recommendation.

I'm not going to go into any details about my experience, but EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is life changing if you struggle with PTSD. I can't emphasize enough how much EMDR helped me.

quote:

Originally posted by isthatasiginyourpocket:
I'm not going to go into any details about my experience, but EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is life changing if you struggle with PTSD. I can't emphasize enough how much EMDR helped me.

Can you explain how this works and the results?

My daughter has it. It's a horrifying thing for her where her brain shuts off in her sleep and she all but wakes up feeling like she's swimming in blood and no way out of it. Because of it, sheep if rare, and that makes it worse as she's exhausted. It will pop off on her when shes awake too (eyes glazed, brain ceases to function), but she's getting a pretty good grip on that now. She had asked my wife and I to do therapy with her and it has been a huge help to all of us in understanding what is going on, and how not to make it worse (which we were doing before, horribly so). I'm a vet myself, but I really had no fucking idea....looking back on my own stupidity humbles me now.

I have since learned that my mother and my late father-in-law both had/have it as well. Don't know my moms story, she clearly has it. FIL was a rare survivor in his company after 4 years in heavy combat in WW2.

Therapy helps, get it as soon as possible and good luck to all!

quote:

ffemt44

you're not alone. Takes a lot to ask for help since that it not something that is encouraged in our society or culture.

Can't really help you, but after I went through some hard times myself about this time last year it really helped me to just talk about it.

In the end I came to the realisation that all that keeps me from being happy is myself.

Best wishes from me.

quote:

Originally posted by Rightwire:

quote:

Originally posted by isthatasiginyourpocket:
I'm not going to go into any details about my experience, but EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is life changing if you struggle with PTSD. I can't emphasize enough how much EMDR helped me.

Can you explain how this works and the results?

My email is in my profile if you'd like any details.

I would like to recommend Transcendental Meditation to all of you who suffer from PTSD. When I was a TM teacher, for more than a decade, I taught several vets with severe PTSD. All of them improved significantly, one VN vet improved dramatically.

I know the name, Transcendental Meditation, can be off-putting to some (as in: WTF?), and the course is not cheap-- but it's worth every penny to learn correctly.

I am no longer a TM teacher, and not affiliated with the organization, and I post this only because I feel for those of you who put yourselves in harm's way, or who respond to horrible situations to do what you can to help. I have even had some first-hand experience, having been in some bad situations. I know, directly, how helpful TM is.

Feel free to email me if you would like further information.

And God bless all of you.

I think all people get flashbacks of certain events, not to diminish yours but to validate yours despite you not being a vet in the last five years.

Obviously, it's the gravity of the moment that affects our reaction. I find myself reacting to moments I remember that pass through my brain and none of these are horrific moments even. I either let out a sound or a body movement and my wife goes, "what's that about?" and I say, "Oh, nothing."

I don't doubt that you can have PTSD after five years. I know several who still feel the effects.

Get the help you need, and my thoughts are with you.

I don't have any suggestions or help to offer for you, but I can tell you the big guy in the sky just received a prayer for you.

I have a friend who is an EMT and the demons are real. The stories he tells me about an average night are enough to make me understand I could never do this job.

He is an ex combat medic and finds his nights on the streets in his ambulance more stressful than Iraq.

To the OP, get the help you need brother. We all support you.