Right after takeoff, a pilot comes on the microphone to welcome his passengers. “Thank you for flying with us. The weather is....”

Then he suddenly starts screaming while still on the mic, “OH MY GOD! IT IS BURNING!!, IT IS BURNING!”

Then silence.

A few seconds later, he comes back on and says, “I’m terribly sorry about what happened. I spilled some scorching hot coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!!”

A voice from the back of the plane yelled, “Why don’t you come here and see ours?”

A slightly aggravated pilot makes the "Welcome aboard" speech.

Replacing the microphone in its holder, he does not realize that the push-to-talk button is stuck in the "on" position, as he remarks to the First Officer, "What I could really go for, is a cup of coffee and a good piece of ass."

Horrified, the lead Flight Attendant rushes toward the cockpit to tell the pilot about the stuck microphone. A sweet little old lady in an aisle seat plucks at the Flight Attendant's sleeve and says, "Sweetie, you forgot the coffee!"

https://m.youtube.com/watch?fe...utu.be&v=6WAylnO5gtA

Not sure how to embed YouTube.