quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I feel like an old Cheetos commercial.

It's not easy being cheesey, but I do my best.

OMG! I happened to be sipping a bit of port when I read this. You can imagine the results! A bit of a prankster you've been labeled. Yup and it has come through again. Cheesy cheetos indeed! LOL

Trust your daughter laughs too when reading this and the thread!

Happy to help, hope nothing was ruined.

I will say that all my girls, including my wife, have to hear me daily tell them something and whether I mention the word dead or dying, the context is clear.
The last year of that had to have been tough.

Lately, it seems that even they are talking of my death with questions and things regarding my impending death with a context for the future.

That's a good thing... them considering their futures after I am gone.
It's called reality.

Youngest daughter just popped in and out the last few minutes.
She asked if there will be a memorial service and what it will look like.
I told her I have no idea, that memorials are for the living to come to terms with things.

She asked about a music playlist I might want to have.
Years ago I did have a playlist in my mind, but now?
Memorials are for the living, I told her whatever music the family chooses should have meaning for them and I will be happy for them to pick the music.

I really think it pointless for music to be played that I like but is of no meaning to the guests.
I hope that makes sense, it's how I feel right now.

It's called being in control, and in life, I did and do have some control over my life events.
Once dead, I have no control whatsoever, so I wish to call attention to that fact in my mind now, rather than wait for the inevitable realization at the end.

One of the things I have wished to shy away from is the notion and feeling of controlling my family from the grave.
Where I can, I give them what I give them with as few strings attached as I can. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.
There are some things where control makes sense, like the kid's trust.

But I have to tell you that 2 years ago when I was healthy and first began my will, I felt a strange strong pull to put conditions on my estate.
I quickly saw the trap and have been working hard ever since to avoid such.
I can be a petty and small person, and these days when I see that in myself, I am taking great pains to shut those feelings down and cut them off at the knees.

I find it quite worthwhile and self satisfying.
I wish that I had begun that sooner in my life.
In many ways I did start that decades ago, but pettiness is persistent. It hides and rears it's ugly head at the most inopportune times.
Pettiness is a tough one to eradicate, I still work at it despite my failures and successes.

The worst ever emotion is jealousy. I learned that one early. Since a very early age, even in childhood, I had great distaste for the emotion called jealousy.
It was clear to me that it was a bad feeling and all consuming and that only bad things happen from it, never good things.
I am happy I sorted that one out early and have lived most my entire life devoid of jealousy.

I really give myself credit on that one. It may have been the single smartest thing I have ever done for myself.

You may find useful this story about Bob Hope. His grandson, Zach Hope, told Soledad O'Brien that when asked on his deathbed where he wanted to be buried, Hope had told his wife, "Surprise me."

That dovetails with my thinking.

I had always thought I would be buried, but I never wanted to know where I would end up.
The plan is to cremate me, which makes me portable.
This a good because who knows where my wife will end up geographically in the future.

And there I will be with the ashes of my animals mixed with me... dropped in her casket, buried together.

The family agrees with my decision once I explained why.

I will laugh my ass off if my grandson knocks me off the shelf and spills me on the floor.
Then when he hears mom coming home, he quickly vacuums me up and that is that, no one will ever know, except he and I.
It will be our little secret.

If that happens, like grandfather, like grandson. The way it should be.

Ironically your tome inspired me to make arrangements so my kids won't be burdened. Got a prepaid plan, I'll be cremated and interred at a military cemetary.

As for your concerns about your grandson spilling the urn, I recall a relative that didn't indicate where he wanted his ashes spread so for quite some time he was simply referred to as "Jack in the Box" until a decision was made. LOL

Nice.

I literally laughed out loud at a dark humor thought just now.

I am named after one of my grandfathers who we called Big Tom.
In a couple of years or less, I will be called No Tom.

Ya see, as I always say, it isn't easy bein' me, cuz things like that cross mind constantly, and for my whole life.

Due date is approaching for the grandbaby, May29th.

Youngest daughter's apartment is pretty much set up as Babies R US delivered things today and her last piece of furniture, a futon, arrives later today.
Then she's all set.

Link to original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utHmeN31RT0

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I literally laughed out loud at a dark humor thought just now.

I am named after one of my grandfathers who we called Big Tom.
In a couple of years or less, I will be called No Tom.

Ya see, as I always say, it isn't easy bein' me, cuz things like that cross mind constantly, and for my whole life.

quote:

The plan is to cremate me, which makes me portable.

This made me laugh. I was imagining when I read it you traveling all over the world like the Stanly Cup. Maybe a pic on the beach with the urn and a Corona with a lime poking out the top of it to your side.

My mind is a strange place at times.

quote:

My book is raw, it's written live and right here out in the open free of charge to those who wish to read it.

Our lives are raw. You book is life. It is your life and reflects your honesty and openess, in those things you choose to share.

Contrast that to the many different "edited and polished" books which are all the same.

I'll take Cheetoes and the orange fingers that come with.

And, yes, you are making a large impact on many people in ways that other authors strive their whole life in the hope of a line or two making similar impact.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I literally laughed out loud at a dark humor thought just now.

I am named after one of my grandfathers who we called Big Tom.
In a couple of years or less, I will be called No Tom.

Ya see, as I always say, it isn't easy bein' me, cuz things like that cross mind constantly, and for my whole life.

Sorry but my mind wandered here too and I thought of your new car and the need to factor it into your dark humor.... No Tom Escapeless.

It is nice to see some take the joke as it was intended... a joke.

Death is pretty serious stuff and sometimes a joke or two helps. It's human.

In the vein of a joke in poor taste maybe you can live reside in the ashtray of the new escape.

I was thinking more along the lines of me residing on top of the cable box or stereo at home.
I figure if the appliances are on, I should heat up to something close to body temperature or thereabouts.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I was thinking more along the lines of me residing on top of the cable box or stereo at home.
I figure if the appliances are on, I should heat up to something close to body temperature or thereabouts.

I like it, or maybe on the mantle over the fireplace.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I was thinking more along the lines of me residing on top of the cable box or stereo at home.
I figure if the appliances are on, I should heat up to something close to body temperature or thereabouts.

I think I woke my wife when I read that and laughed out loud!

My new Ford escape Titanium is still sitting in Kentucky.
I went to the dealer to get the final pricing with whatever incentives came with it.
5K in rebates, so the price went from 36,030 to 31,030.

It may be rare, but I left the dealer feeling good.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
My new Ford escape Titanium is still sitting in Kentucky.
I went to the dealer to get the final pricing with whatever incentives came with it.
5K in rebates, so the price went from 36,030 to 31,030.

It may be rare, but I left the dealer feeling good.

Sweet!

Now Ford should expedite it post haste.

quote:

Originally posted by lbj:
I was thinking more along the lines of me residing on top of the cable box or stereo at home.
I figure if the appliances are on, I should heat up to something close to body temperature or thereabouts.

Families have many ways of dealing with death.

Poker is something we all grew up with. We used to play double and triple deck sometimes. I could tell you many stories of funerals, wakes and how poker has made its way into many wakes/funerals.

One story: My uncle died and we had a reception to celebrate his life. His ashes were on the poker table as happened.

We dealt hands all the way around, including Mike. When it came to bet, after pushing Mike's ashes into the middle I said, "Mike's all in."

The whole family was around, including his kids and there was explosive laughter. He loved poker.

My mother decided to encase part of my dad's ashes in glass globes that sit on a glowing base of lights. That was new. But, our globe glows softly on our mantle. I still do not know how I feel about it because he's not there but it is a reminder to which we've grown accustomed.

I have never thought of him re-assuming room temperature but I get your humor about a sad event - the loss of a loved one.