I think I would describe any grudges I now hold, as perhaps just more of a new approach to someone from whom I've "learned a lesson" on "who they really are". And so I go forward with that new knowledge. I don't have any really serious grudges to hold though.

Holding a grudge takes to much energy. I would have to remember what the grudge is about. The closest I have come to a grudge is a short list of about 3 or 4 people that I would never work for, or have work for me. I know at least one thought the same of me. I am now retired so no need to think about those folks.

My measure of a grudge relates to something a coworker said many years ago. I asked if he knew someone, his response was: "I wouldn't have a beer with that MF". My coworker was typically an affable guy but his response was so vehement and caustic that I knew it was a grudge.

I would have a beer with anyone. So, no grudges.

quote:

Originally posted by YooperSigs:
I dont let a grudge take up my time or effort. However, I do have a long memory.

This is more accurate for me than my previous post.

Sometimes what goes around comes around. I had a boss with whom I had a major falling out with and lost. A couple of years later he came to work for the company I was working for at the time. When they told me, I said that not only would I not work with him (he was at a different location, so that didn't matter), but that he would have the location run into the ground in a month. I wasn't very far off. They gave him the boot. Somehow, though, while I did feel some vindication, I didn't feel the satisfaction I thought I would.

quote:

Originally posted by parabellum:
I'll point out that "holding a grudge" is an innate survival mechanism of our species and exists as part of our tribal nature; that is to say, it aids us in determining who we trust and who we do not trust.

In this generation of humans and all generations past, "holding a grudge" has saved the lives of countless humans.

I realize this does not mesh with the meaning of the OP's question, but nevertheless, it is true.

That's interesting, makes perfect sense when you think about it. My guess is that could be the most important point for this whole topic so far, at least for me. Based on the responses I note your earlier post that this topic is complex and nuanced and there are no easy answers to the question. Being the way I am I like to put stuff in boxes with binary choices, which is probably why I started the post to begin with, since I couldn't answer the question for myself.