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Man arrested after sending hundreds of used dildos to the White House on Valentine's Day

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/4740022705

March 07, 2024, 10:40 AM
parabellum
Man arrested after sending hundreds of used dildos to the White House on Valentine's Day
Points for creativity, no credit at all for foreskin err foresight.

So Joe Biden can go fuck himself!

quote:
Washington, DC- Kurt Fellows (67), is being held by the Secret Service at an undisclosed location after a shipment containing close to 1000 previously used sex toys (dildos) arrived at the Whitehouse on Valentine’s Day addressed to President Biden. The letter attached to the shipment said, “Happy Valentine’s Day Sleepy Joe. Since you like to fuck all of us, why don’t you go fuck yourself?”.
"undisclosed location"? They've got him in a hole! What a dick move.
March 07, 2024, 10:45 AM
petr
Soooo....how do they know they were used?
March 07, 2024, 10:46 AM
TigerDore
Sending sex toys to Biden for Valentine's Day will get you arrested by the SS. However, promoting the assassination of President Trump (Snoop Dogg, Kathy Griffin, Madonna, Johnny Depp, et al) will not.

So who does the SS work for now? The American people or the fascist Dems?


.
March 07, 2024, 10:47 AM
TigerDore
quote:
Originally posted by petr:
Soooo....how do they know they were used?


Because Joe sniffed them, of course.


.
March 07, 2024, 10:49 AM
petr
Maybe he took the advice and actually DID fk himself.
March 07, 2024, 10:53 AM
gw3971
Curious to see the charges. Sounds like political speech to me.
March 07, 2024, 10:55 AM
sigmonkey
Might he have been given a free ride, if he had stated "LNIB"?



(Seriously, wondering how is it a crime "...While sending an unsolicited shipment of dildos to the President is grounds for arrest...")



"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
March 07, 2024, 10:55 AM
1967Goat
Maybe he should've sent him a bag of dicks instead.

https://dicksbymail.com/
March 07, 2024, 11:12 AM
L90814
Ungrateful bastards.
March 07, 2024, 11:21 AM
Sigmund
The article in the OP says "...after a shipment containing close to 1000 previously used sex toys (dildos) arrived at the Whitehouse on Valentine’s Day..." but I doubt they made it to the White House. There are remote screening facilities in the DC area, they may have started during the anthrax scare, maybe earlier.
March 07, 2024, 11:29 AM
RogueJSK
... Ya'll know that's a fake/satire "news" website, right?

From their About Us page:

quote:
KVTA4 is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website. KVTA4 uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.

March 07, 2024, 11:34 AM
parabellum
Ah, shit.

Just goes to show you- it can happen to the best of us. Razz

But, I WANT IT TO BE REAL!!
March 07, 2024, 11:41 AM
Some Shot
If I had one; I would send it (if I got permission first).
March 07, 2024, 11:42 AM
1967Goat
quote:
Originally posted by RogueJSK:
... Ya'll know that's a fake/satire "news" website, right?

From their About Us page:

quote:
KVTA4 is a fabricated satirical newspaper and comedy website. KVTA4 uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.


Way to throw a wet blanket on us! Big Grin
March 07, 2024, 11:46 AM
sigmonkey
Well, someone might need to make that a legitimate news reporting site...



"the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב!
March 07, 2024, 11:58 AM
Fredward
1000 dildos? Somebody is sore.
March 07, 2024, 12:28 PM
sgalczyn
Kamala feels left out.......................


"No matter where you go - there you are"
March 07, 2024, 12:31 PM
Slippery Pete
If whoever's picture that is sees this, satire or not, he's found his life's new purpose.


------------------------------
http://defendersoffreedom.us/
March 07, 2024, 12:47 PM
parabellum
He does look like the kind of guy who would pull such a stunt.

I SAID STUNT!
March 07, 2024, 12:54 PM
kz1000
quote:
Originally posted by sigmonkey:
Might he have been given a free ride, if he had stated "LNIB"?



(Seriously, wondering how is it a crime "...While sending an unsolicited shipment of dildos to the President is grounds for arrest...")



LNIB

"Lubed, now in butt?"


------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris