SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Need advice: Hate my new job and it’s taking a toll on my family... ***Update in the OP***
Main Page The Lounge Need advice: Hate my new job and it’s taking a toll on my family... ***Update in the OP***Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
| Member |
When I started my LE career, an old cop told me: "Once you start to hate this job, you need to quit" I did not pay a bit of attention to him, but should have since I did have some other offers. As someone else said.... vote with your feet! End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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| Page late and a dollar short |
They tell you what they want you to hear. -------------------------------------—————— ————————--Ignorance is a powerful tool if applied at the right time, even, usually, surpassing knowledge(E.J.Potter, A.K.A. The Michigan Madman) | |||
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Member |
I’m leaving the company I’ve been with for 13 years as soon as I line up a new job. It was a great place to work when I started but in the last 3 years it has become completely toxic. Management has killed the place. Top level is brought in from corporate and they immediately treat everyone from this area like ignorant hillbillies. Promotions to area manager are 90% brown nosers that shouldn’t be left alone with a pet rock. They keep changing the paid time off system with the effect that I’ve had about 3 weeks of PTO taken from me. Turnover hit north of 60% last year. They’re genuinely mystified why morale is so low. My only regret is that I didn’t decide to leave sooner. | |||
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| If you see me running try to keep up  |
I hate my job but physically it’s fairly easy, I normally only work 40 hour work weeks, it’s pays extremely well and has some other perks so I don’t quit. I’d quit your job knowing what little you posted about it. No job is worth missing out on your family, sometimes there are no choices and you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do to survive but if you have an option to quit and go somewhere else I’d quit. The older I get the more clearly I see what’s important (and no employer is more important than family). I’ve seen guys give 40 plus years of their life to a company then get discarded without a second thought. Morally I am bound to do my best for the job I’m getting paid to do but I won’t put my employer first over family. | |||
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Wait, what? |
If your current job is creating anguish, it will follow you home and create problems there whether you want it to or not. An old buddy had a saying- “I was looking for a job when I got this one”. Start looking for your next one now, and bide your time. When it comes and your sure it’s the right place for you, just quietly move on. Put your energy towards looking forward to something better rather than miring your thoughts in the bad situation. “Remember to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from a virus they got vaccinated against because you’re not vaccinated.” - author unknown | |||
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Member |
The only advice I will give you is: 1, Your family comes first. 2. If you hate your job, look for reasons not to go to work, can't stand being there, leave early etc... or find yourself feeling miserable due to work related issues Find yourself another job. | |||
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Needs a bigger boat |
There is a truism in management: "You can't be responsible for something over which you don't have authority." They are two sides of the same coin. As a ship captain I have 100% responsibility for my ship under the law, but have often had management attempt to limit my authority. "You can't fire that guy, he's an AA hire." "We know there's a hurricane, but we need you to get underway to meet operational tasking." And so on. My reply is always the same. If I don't have authority over my ship, then you can find a new captain. So far in 20+ years, I have only been taken up on that offer once. Either demand the authority to fix what's wrong, or bail, sounds like you have already decided on option 2. Best of luck to you. MOO means NO! Be the comet! | |||
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| Eye on the Silver Lining |
Here’s what I gleaned for your post: Been at the job for less than 2 months. Knew the guys who sold you on this job and say you’re a people person. Bought a new car. Bought a new house immediately prior to or after leaving your 10 yr job.. Why did you leave your last job for this? Greener grass? Higher salary? You were comfortable (felt safe) enough to have 3 kids, buy a home, and buy a new car, all in a relatively short time. That’s a comfort level that many never attain. First thing I would do for easy cash, sell the new car and get a used one, use the money to get your wife a regular 2xweek sitter to help with the kids. At least ask her if she’d like to do this. Don’t rely solely on family if you can help it. Help her breathe a little bit without feeling obligated. Her being less stressed will help you be less stressed. That’s a handful of kids, all very young. Second, as someone mentioned, start delegating. If you’re GM, I hope you have the authority to hire an assistant or delegate at least some of your duties. Create a position if you’re running into old boy attitudes, so you can train from scratch. Third, I’d definitely stick it out until you have other employment lined up. Two months is nothing and certainly not enough time to really ascertain whether or not you can make this work with whatever modifications you need. If your employer is unwilling to allow you to make changes that make this job doable...I’d still stick it out while hunting, but I would probably make it clear that there are things that can be done to improve the work environment and create a balance for you. And I’d really consider how you might pitch it on interview when you explain why you are leaving a job you were at for less than two months. This, too, will pass. Wishing the best for you and your family. __________________________ "Trust, but verify." | |||
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Member |
All jobs have an expiration date. They can be good up until then and absolutely miserable one day after. The trick is to know when that date is coming and to get out ahead of it. This is as immutable a law as is gravitational pull. | |||
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| Member |
Absolute truth. I blew up over something petty when I got home Saturday. Apologized to my wife for being a prick, talked about finding a new job and she admitted she’s hoped I would leave the company for a few months now. | |||
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| Get my pies outta the oven!  |
I had a job (in a former life as a chef) once that I absolutely hated going to and I lasted 4 or 5 weeks, it got to the point where I would have stomachaches before work just thinking about it. The day I walked in there and said "I can't do this anymore and I need to quit, do you want 2 weeks notice or can I leave now? The reply was "You can leave now." I walked out of there like this:  it felt like a 300 lb weight had been lifted off me! My advice: BAIL | |||
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Nullus Anxietas |
Place I used to work at one point attempted to promote me into a managerial position. I quickly discovered:
After a time I walked into my boss' office and told him he'd either have to "demote" me back to worker bee or I'd be leaving. I got the demotion. I was happy again. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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The guy behind the guy |
No way in hell I'd hire someone and give them full authority in two months. Anyone who thought they should be given full control can pack their shit. Sorry to be the voice of dissent, but you haven't earned the right to make sweeping changes. I don't care who the manager in my company is, none of them have free rein to do whatever they want. Especially coming from middle management to suddenly being a GM. Frankly you don't have the resume to be trusted with full authority IMO. I'm 41 and been doing my job as the President for about 4 years now, with 3 years are COO before that. I get more and more leash every year. I'm close to the point where I think I can go into a screwed up organization, clean the decks and turn it around. You're not even close yet. As president of the company, I don't even have full autonomy. I have two owners who have guidelines for me. We all have lanes we must stay in and manage within. It's not always easy, but that doesn't change the fact that we can't do whatever we want. I have three kids, my hours are similar to yours. I work out, I eat very well, I go to my kids' sports games...honestly, suck it up man. My wife runs our house more or less without me. She handles it just fine. If you liked your 40 hours a week of middle management, go do it. If you want to move up the ladder, suck it up and work your shit out. Just don't bitch if you don't ever make big money. Welcome to management. if you want to have influence on your company and get paid, you've gotta earn it...and it's hard. Everyone thinks top management is stupid and they have all the answers, but very few are willing to actually drive the bus and take all that comes with it. The reality is that your company will find someone to do the job and grow their career if you don't want to. This is simply a question of ambition. I have three managers who I've been stepping up from middle management to senior management. They don't get all the money and freedom right away. They will in time as they prove their chops. You're in grind it out phase man. Do you want a big office or not? If you don't, pull the rip cord and be happy with your $75k a year or whatever you will make. If you want a shot at the $200k/300k/500k type of job someday, this is what the road to there looks like. Not everyone wants that big job, and that's ok. If you don't, there is no reason to do what you're doing. If you do have that type of ambition, why on earth would leave your job? You'll never get there without working through what you're doing now. | |||
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thin skin can't win |
Man, if you own your own railroad you should be able to hang by the pool! Or do you have to have all 4 to be able to collect meaningful rent?? {just adding some levity to an otherwise challenging situation} You only have integrity once. - imprezaguy02 | |||
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| Member |
I have said many times to many people life is too short to deal with a job/ environment you hate. I am lucky I am in a very in demand medical field with head hunters contacting me daily, and can say in my now near 30 year career I have had 8 different jobs, and if things got intolerable at any point I would change course in a heart beat | |||
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| Nullus Anxietas |
You're making a lot of assumptions, there, scout. "America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system,,,, but too early to shoot the bastards." -- Claire Wolfe "If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living." -- Seneca the Younger, Roman Stoic philosopher | |||
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| Get my pies outta the oven! |
You really really come across as a giant asshole and a bit high on yourself too. Don't tell me you never had a job that wasn't working out for you. | |||
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| The guy behind the guy |
He has young kids. He was at his last job 10 years. I'm gonna guess he got that job out of college, or close to it, and has been there ever since? Total guess, but I'm trying to read the lay of the land here. What I'm telling him is to suck it up if he has big ambitions. Certainly a job can not work out for folks, no doubt about it. What I'm talking about is an opportunity he has, not a specific job. If he's 30-ish and was plucked out of middle management and into senior management, he will be in a situation similar to what I was. I have more experience doing what I do than most folks my age. I was given a chance early and ran with it. I'm so happy I stuck with it! If he has big ambitions, I'm advising him to do the same. He might not ever get a chance like this again. Can he just go to another job and be a GM? I doubt it. So if he leaves he's taking a step backwards. How long until a chance to be a GM comes around again? Everyone is telling him to leave and giving him soft namby pamby advice imo. Y'all could be talking him out of the opportunity of a lifetime. If he doesn't want it, fine. But he has to answer that for himself. If he does, I'm telling him to suck it up and put in his time. If I sound like a giant asshole, that's ok with me, but I'm giving him a little tough love so to speak. Responsibility without authority, yeah it sucks! Anyone who's made it to a high level has likely dealt with that. It took me a long time before I was able to really make changes in my organization. Two months? Two freaking months? Relax man, do your time and start to influence the decision makers. If they like what you're doing and where you're going, they'll give you more and more. That's how it works. Telling him bail after two months is giving him bad advice imo. This has nothing to do with me, but I had great mentors who told me to suck it up and work through it. It paid off. I told the same thing to others, but not everyone stuck with it. The three who did will be the future leaders of this company. I bet now they're glad they did. I don't know where the other folks are now, but I doubt they have the influence and paychecks these three do. If he wants to be a leader in a company, I don't think you get there easily, that's what I'm telling him. | |||
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| Member |
Never been in that position, loved my job and work. Almost never had a great supervisor. Always Always assumed I had authority to make decisions without asking permission. Was a process engineer usually responsible for process control and instructed operations 24/7 or in major design. Retired after 43years 48 months. Indicated I was ready to go and given 6 months pay and retirement benefits. Did not have great supervisors most of time, caught crap many times but I always came out OK because I was one of the best in my field. Have to say if you do not Like (love) your job, quit. My company changed owners a few times, Reynolds Metals, Alcoa, private, Alcan, Glencore. First job out of college and selected for overseas 18years (very few people given that privilege). | |||
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| The guy behind the guy |
Heck yeah I read that...that smells like an opportunity to make his mark. It will take years before he can really make it, but he can start slow and grind away. If he's good, he's got a prime opportunity to shine like a son of a gun IMO. He's the GM for Pete's sake! Learn your limits of authority. Operate within them. Do what you can within them. Once you've cleaned up everything you can within your authority. Explain how you need wider limits so you can go after your next items. Demonstrate how you've crushed everything in your current limits and show them the impact it has had. If they don't give you more at that point, then I'd say there could be an issue, but within the first two months, no way he's fixed and gotten good processes in place up to his limits. Heck, in two months, he's still getting to know all of his customers I bet. I don't know his age, but I've seen plenty of young folks who come in and start talking about what's wrong with the company. I've also seen plenty that go about changing what's in their immediate sphere of influence. Guess who's still here? My dad once told me, if Person A comes to you with an idea about what Person B needs to do so Person A can do their job better, you probably don't want to bet on Person A long term. But, if Person X comes along and tells you what they can do in their job to make the company better, that's someone you will like want to promote soon. I'm suggesting he be Person X and go kick some ass. The schedule will become a routine and it gets easier, but he has to give it time to adapt. It's not like he's doing his same job but a for a new company. He's in totally new waters and it takes time to acclimate. I don't think he needs people telling him to back to being a middle manager. I think he needs folks who've traveled the journey he's on telling him to suck it up and stick with it. Telling him he can be a great agent of change in his organization but it will indeed take a number of years to get the street cred to do it. Slapping him on his butt and telling him to get his ass back out there and go take his lumps...NOT telling him, you're right, it's hard, quit. | |||
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SIGforum.com Main Page The Lounge Need advice: Hate my new job and it’s taking a toll on my family... ***Update in the OP***
Main Page The Lounge Need advice: Hate my new job and it’s taking a toll on my family... ***Update in the OP***© SIGforum 2024