So the long and short of it is I left my previous job after 10+ years of with the company. I stayed in the rail industry but went from a mid-level management job to being the GM of my own railroad. I have all the authority and get to make all the calls. At least that’s how it was sold to me. In reality I have all the responsibility and none of the decision making power. Furthermore, the condition of the railroad both physically and relations with customers was so understated as to be almost comical. Suffice it to say had I known just how bad thing were I would have told them I needed another $100k in salarying to consider it (not joking).

All this has lead to a very toxic environment that while I really like the people that work for me, regional management has absolutely killed their ambitions and attitudes. They still think it’s 1950 and that we should all just be glad to be employed; my boss boasted to me that he only took 3 days of vacation last year, as if it was something to be proud of. The way they treat them (and my management team, myself included for that matter) is boarderline unethical (and may be in some instances). Right now I’ve worked 2 weeks straight with one day off, and even then I was on the phone most of the day so really wasn’t off. I realize that with elevated positions comes more responsibility but as I said the pay is in no way compensate for this.

The result is that I’m leaving the house each day by 4:45 and I’m lucky if I make it home by 6:30. On top of this I have a wife, two daughters (6 & 3) and a 1 month old son that have taken the brunt of it. My poor wife has no time to herself and we’re very much dependent on family to assist her with getting things done when she’s trying to contend with all the kids by herself. I try my best but I’m exhausted all the time. I’m sure I’m not taking the best care of myself either, instead focusing on spending what little free time I have with the kids and their development.

So with all that said, what are your thoughts? I’d love to leave right away but need to have something lined up for my family’s sake as I don’t have quite the reserves as I’d like having just bought a home last year and a new car for the growing family just prior to taking this job. Obviously I’m looking constantly for something that would get me out of here but it’s not something that will happen overnight; so for now I have to trudge on till I can get out. Nor do I have any hope that things will improve because if this is the way things are less than 2 months into the job can I can’t imagine the wear and tear it would cause after years of this crap.

Update: Turns out I wasn’t the only one having problems with the leadership team. My boss (AVP), his boss (VP), and the big boss (SVP) were all let go yesterday. Apparently performance under their tenure had slipped as had the loss of some major business due to decisions they made and budget cuts they’d forced through that negatively impacted the operations. Anyhow, new boss and a much better outlook for the future right now. Being treated with respect and with decency really has a way of turning your attitude around.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SigM4,

Have you contacted Edna Rice? They specialize in rail recruiting, and not just the railways, but the industries they serve. So many of my friends in the Houston area now work in the petrochemical industry in their transportation departments and love it.

I left the rail industry for the exact same reasons.

I have zero experience in the rail industry, but Poacher beat me to the punch. I've been in the IT industry for about 20 years, and when I got tired of the desk job, I got into consulting, then contracting where the money is really good. If there's a similar path like Poacher claims, I'd look in that direction. Is there still a line of communication open with the old job? Can you go back there? If you've been in the industry for a long time, do you have other contacts you can network with (ie. LinkedIn, etc). Look at all angles and possibilities. Good luck!

is your old job still avialble and would you want to go back?

normally I'd say talk to the people above you but based on your comments, the folks above you are the problem.

Why is this even a question? If your job sucks, vote with your feet. Having something lined up before you do is preferable, of course.

quote:

Originally posted by SigM4:
less than 2 months into the job

Sorry for your situation, but less than 2 months isn't really enough time to settle into the routine, learn and get efficient at managing the new job, people and responsibilities. Are you delegating as much as possable? It will very likely get better... but sounds like unfortunately it may not get better enough or better soon enough.

Hoping the best for you.

You have answered your own question, the only unknown is when? Get started. Now, not later.

Did you leave your previous employer on a friendly basis? If so, contact them as a start.

Last nine years I worked in a similar situation. Micromanager. Unless he ran the show it was no good. Heard the same crap from my supervisor about time off/vacations. Hell, I used to get flak when I took time off for doctors appointments and yearly related tests. He tried to violate my rights under FMLA and ADA, I called his bluff on that one. Once the job market started opening up in my vocation I was so close to retirement it would not have been fair to a employer. Came close though, year before I left the wheels were turning but the partnership fell apart hence the business went away.

I've always tried to ride for the brand and be all in. Like you, I was sold a bill of goods I was unable to stay all in. It was a strange position for me. I suffered (also like you) but spent the time I could have been productive at work, thinking on what I truly wanted. What I wanted was to be the guy I was working for (lets call him "the Owner") except to treat folks like I wanted to be treated. It took longer than I thought to get there, but eventually I left to do my thing. Most customers didn't want to come along and I did not work to get them when I was with the douchbag, and that was fine. After I left I let them know where I was and what I was doing in case they needed me.

Turns out most of them did need me. Their loyalty and inertia had them staying at first, but I peeled customer after customer off as the months went by until the old DB had to close. It did work out, so hang in there and don't leave until you have a plan in place.

My wife just quit her job of 3 years because there was no work\life balance. She was selling a medical device which in turn meant that she had to convince the Doctors to refer the product during the day and then had to sell the referred patients to use the product by night. Though she was growing the region she was going to get written up because the referrals were inconsistent through the year. That was the last straw.

Lucky for us we don’t have to rely on her salary to make ends meet. Now she can focus on our relocation to Denver and then find work out there.

Good luck with what decision you make. Sometimes the bump in pay is not worth the aggravation that comes with it.

you sound like you know what you need to do

first off - basically - you were lied to

second - you have THE most stressful type of job - one which ranks HIGH on level of responsibility (GM) - but LOW on level of authority (you are not empowered). Psychologists have said that is the most stressful 'mix' of conditions

third - given your family situation - you may end up with kids who don't know you and a divorce. and failing health ... think about that

fourth - if you leave quickly - you can chalk it up to 'fail quickly' versus trudging on for 2 or 3 years of misery sounds like a poor fit - not an impossible thing to explain to recruiters or prospective new employers

good luck - it's not the worst job market that's for sure. was laid off last January and found a great position by April --- 3 months before my severance ended...

question - how did they 'sell' you on the position ??


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I was selected for an SES position in a federal agency. It was 11 years of hell. All responsibility but no real authority. Add to that a toxic mixture of racial hostilities where any disciplinary action I took was instantly met with me being labeled a racist with zero backup by HR. I was expected to magically change a marginally literate individual into someone who knew what a subject and verb was as well as learning how to think. Impossible job.

I stuck it out. The pay was good but by no means did it compensate for the daily stress. Had I known at the time I never would have applied for the job.

My advice is to get out asap. Your health, happiness, and being there for your wife and kids is worth more than any job no matter how much it pays. You'll never regret it.

I stepped down from a department manager position to a traveling position a year ago for similar reasons. I am currently settling into a staff position in one location now. I decided the extra stress and responsibility wasn't worth the extra money, and I am grateful my company was willing to accommodate my request.

My family will always come first.

Hire someone to find you a new job and let them do it.

Chalk this job up to poor fit/incorrect expectations.

Just know that stress can be be a killer... it's just a 'job'. It is simply not worth the stress and you don't want the family to suffer any more than they already have. Enjoy life, your wife and the kids, they are the most important part of all this.

It’s not going to get better and your family will suffer. Maybe even your own health.

Pay a resume writer, find another work place. You’ll be glad and do it sooner than later.

Good employees and managers are hard to find.

Thank you all for the comments. As many have said I know what I need to do. Whether it’s look to the old company (which I left on very good terms and actually work directly with in this role; still talk to my old VP weekly) or somewhere new I need to get out and should start making plans now. This was as much about getting it off my chest as anything and I thank you all for hearing me out and offering suggestions.

quote:

Originally posted by Sig209:
third - given your family situation - you may end up with kids who don't know you and a divorce. and failing health ... think about that

I know what you mean and I absolutely won’t let that happen. These kids and my wife are the most precious things in this world to me, I would do anything for them. Which is probably why I’m conflicted, the thought of “putting up with it” for their sake keeps running through my head, but ultimately what good is it if it leads me to the point you make? I’ve always told my wife that if my job ever gets in the way of our family and I don’t see it she needs to let me know. She’s fantastic and I believe she’s probably in the same place of putting up with it, but that’s not fair to her.

quote:

fourth - if you leave quickly - you can chalk it up to 'fail quickly' versus trudging on for 2 or 3 years of misery sounds like a poor fit - not an impossible thing to explain to recruiters or prospective new employers

Never thought of it like this before, but man does that make a lot of sense.

quote:

question - how did they 'sell' you on the position ??

Basically it was the previous several GMs (this should have clue #1) had been big idea guys but not people persons or not having a lot of operating knowledge. I have both in spades and bring a lot of the administrative details that are specific to railroads and union shops to boot.

It was supposed to be pretty easy in that they just lacked leadership and direction. Turns out they lacked support and resources from the very guys telling me all this.

I was in a similar situation myself a little over a year ago. It’s very stressful and frustrating. I was angry and tired and I unfortunately allowed that to follow me home. I prayed about it and sought advice from family, friends, and colleagues. I was blessed to find another job in my area which allowed us to keep our farm, pays better, and most importantly allows me to maintain a work-life balance. My son will be 2 years old in a couple weeks and he definitely knows who I am as I am home a lot more now.
I hope and pray you find a better job that will allow you to make a good living and support your family and also be a part of the family rather than a financier. The most common words of wisdom I received were “they’re only little once”.

quote:

Originally posted by SR:
is your old job still avialble and would you want to go back?

Never go crawling back.

Move laterally or look into consulting.

WRT 2 months on the job, I would try to stick it out at least a year unless there are really unethical shit going on. Because a future employer will see that quick just and wonder if you have the fire to stick it out or whether you'll jump ship if it gets tough.

Not enough info for me but I can relate. Old company shut down, I got picked up by new company with a sign on bonus and higher pay. But they don’t pay you the big bucks to sun yourself on the beach. I woke up at 4:30 AM to leave the house as soon as I could and I stayed in the office til 10 pm. I regularly worked 12 to 16 hour days. One week of every month, i’d Work 16 to 18 hour days. Would work every other weekend.
At least, I had no children, just a supportive wife.

Did a total of 8 years on that job, the last 3 years, work was down to 10 to 12 hours instead. But the pressure was always there. I couldn’t find another job in those 8 years until the end. I found a new job closer to home and took a pay cut. Turned out the boss was old, crazy, and demented. He would play staring games at me in his office. I didn’t even wait to get a new job. I quit after six months; life is too short to be working for a crazy person.

So in one case, I stuck it out and in another, I left. Both were right choices for me. The 8 year job allowed me to maximize my 401k contributions and set me up financially to not have to work after the six month job. I didn’t know I could until I quit and had to take stock of my resources.

Ask yourself if you can’t stick it out for another month. Talk to your boss and feel him for his evaluation on your performance to date. Tell him you want to calibrate with him regarding your performance. His feedback should give you a clue of what he thinks of you and your future prospects in that position.

Good luck.

Time to go job shopping. It’s a whole lot easier to find a new job when you already have one. Don’t be afraid to change industries either. You obviously have skills, go and don’t look back.