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Picture of Ironbutt
posted April 20, 2023 10:23 AMHide Post
Well, it looks like the Babylon Bee just hit another one out of the park.Smile
https://babylonbee.com/news/fe...empting-to-say-hello
WASHINGTON, D.C. — All legislative activity was brought to a screeching halt today as returning Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman unintentionally filibustered the Senate for over seven hours while trying to say "Hello."

Senator Fetterman, returning to his duties this week for the first time since checking himself in for inpatient treatment for clinical depression, greeted his fellow lawmakers with an extended speech that consisted of only a few short sentences. "I'm fern…I'm fire…I'm flying…I'm fried…I'm fine. I'm…I'm fine," Fetterman said to other members of the "SNAP and Other Nutrition Assistance in the Farm Bill" Senate Subcommittee. Fetterman then spent the next several hours attempting to form his next sentence, which witnesses believe to have been some variation of the word "Hello."

"It's wonderful to see Senator Fetterman lumbering aimlessly through the corridors of the Capitol Building again," Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer said. "It just wasn't the same around here without hearing his staggering footsteps, grunts, and mournful wails after hours."

Though Fetterman's unplanned filibuster lasted for over seven hours, Republican members of the Senate privately expressed relief. "Him coming back to work turned out to be a blessing in disguise," one GOP senator said under the condition of anonymity. "The more we can keep him talking, the easier it will be to roadblock the Democrats' agenda. I'm ready to help put him in charge of more committees if it keeps going like this!"

At publishing time, Senator Fetterman's speech was still not yet finished, with other committee members hoping the first hearing would be wrapped up sometime before summer.


------------------------------------------------

"It's hard to imagine a more stupid or dangerous way of making decisions, than by putting those decisions in the hands of people who pay no price for being wrong."
Thomas Sowell
 
Posts: 2048 | Location: PA | Registered: September 01, 2013Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Transplanted Hillbilly
Picture of Fire Away
posted April 20, 2023 02:33 PMHide Post
Jesse Kelly calls him "Senator Cucumber". Big Grin
 
Posts: 1979 | Location: Central Pennsylvania | Registered: December 08, 1999Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
Picture of parabellum
posted April 20, 2023 06:28 PMHide Post
I think the very last thing this walking train wreck needs is weed.

But, don't you just love his eloquence? So deep.

"It’s 4:20 on 4/20. That’s the tweet."

He knows the date and the time. This is WAY past potty training. Good boy!

https://twitter.com/d_orison/s.../1649158401899872259

 
Posts: 111649 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get Off My Lawn
Picture of oddball
posted April 20, 2023 06:33 PMHide Post
Democrats want Diane Feinstein OUT because they feel she is too old and forgetful, yet they cream over themselves over this WWF retard?



"I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965
 
Posts: 18127 | Location: Texas | Registered: May 13, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of mark60
posted April 20, 2023 07:13 PMHide Post
4:20 on 4/20....Duuuude that's deep.
 
Posts: 3688 | Location: Soon to be Formerly of God Awful NY | Registered: July 01, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of spunk639
posted April 20, 2023 07:20 PMHide Post
Imagine being a fly on the wall at pudding and jell-o time with him and the potatus. Unintelligible gibberish and nonsensical sounds abound.
 
Posts: 2952 | Location: Boston, Mass | Registered: December 02, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get my pies
outta the oven!

Picture of PASig
posted May 04, 2023 01:48 PMHide Post
Oh please Roll Eyes

This clown ran a Biden-style campaign where he hid at home the entire time and made like one stop each at his safe deep blue Democrat harbors of Pittsburgh and Philadelphia while Oz crisscrossed the state making appearances and held multiple rallies. "Brutal", huh? Loser

quote:

John Fetterman blames DR OZ for his depression and the 'brutal' 2022 campaign as he brushes-off questions about his health and insists 'hell yes' he's fit to work

The UK Daily Mail
By KATELYN CARALLE, U.S. POLITICAL REPORTER FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
PUBLISHED: 20:56 EDT, 3 May 2023 | UPDATED: 08:04 EDT, 4 May 2023

-Sen. Fetterman insists he's fit to serve in Congress during depression recovery
-He blamed in the decline in mental health on the 'vicious' 2022 campaign
-Fetterman suffered a stroke during his successful run for office and just one month after being sworn in admitted himself for inpatient care at Walter Reed


John Fetterman blamed his decrease in mental health on the 'vicious' 2022 campaign against Dr. Mehmet Oz and assured he is fit to serve as he recovers from an in-patient hospital stay for depression.

The Pennsylvania senator told KDKA-TV in a Tuesday interview that he is feeling 'fantastic' as questions continue to pepper Fetterman on his health.

Fetterman was elected shortly after suffering a stroke in 2021, which he insisted did not affect his ability to be a senator while it did affect his audio comprehension. He admitted during an interview that he had to use real-time transcription programs to make sure he fully understood the questions being asked of him.

Just one month after being sworn into office, Fetterman voluntarily admitted himself to Walter Reed Medical Center to be treated for depression.

'I feel fantastic, honestly,' Fetterman said after his first week back in Washington, D.C. 'A lot of people have asked, 'Hey, how are you feeling? How's your depression?' Again, it's in remission, and I am just so grateful to be feeling great.'

Critics have been highly critical of Fetterman, claiming that it was clear he was not medically fit to serve in the Senate after he suffered his stroke. Those assertions were only further exacerbated after Fetterman went to the hospital.

Republicans in Pennsylvania claim that he has not been able to fulfill his duties as senator and should resign or be replaced.

The Democrat lawmaker claims that attacks on him during the 2022 Senate campaign contributed to his decline and led to his hospital stay.

'It was after the brutality of the campaign,' Fetterman said regarding the onset of his depression. 'Some people believe that it was one of the most vicious political campaigns.'

According to OpenSecrets, outside groups aired $84 million in attack ads against Fetterman in his campaign against Republican Dr. Oz, who had the backing of former President Donald Trump.

Fetterman assured that despite being hospitalized for depression, he is fully capable of serving in Congress as he recovers.

'Hell, yes, and that's why I'm doing it,' Fetterman told KDKA-TV. 'Just the way any Pennsylvanians are working is you take it a day and a day and work hard, and that's exactly what I've been doing here.'

Following a successful Senate campaign last year and after being sworn into office in January, Fetterman checked himself into the military hospital in Bethesda, Maryland, just one month after taking office to be treated for clinical depression.

He was discharged from Walter Reed at the end of March and returned to work at the Capitol when Congress came back from a two-week recess in April.


Link


 
Posts: 35905 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of 229DAK
posted May 04, 2023 01:57 PMHide Post
So, based on all that drama and for his own health, he won't run for re-election? Roll Eyes


_________________________________________________________________________
“A man’s treatment of a dog is no indication of the man’s nature, but his treatment of a cat is. It is the crucial test. None but the humane treat a cat well.”
-- Mark Twain, 1902
 
Posts: 9700 | Location: Northern Virginia | Registered: November 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of downtownv
posted May 04, 2023 02:08 PMHide Post
Remember Clarence "Lumpy" Rutherford is a fictional character in the television sitcom Leave It to Beaver? Fetterman is the new Lumpy, aka Hoodie.
 
Posts: 9623 | Location: 18 miles long, 6 Miles at Sea | Registered: January 22, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
Picture of parabellum
posted May 16, 2023 08:02 PMHide Post
Perfectly normal. No problem here. This cat's got a smooth rap...

Fetterman raises eyebrows with borderline incoherent questioning in Senate hearing
quote:
You know, I’ve never been to Hawaii and neither has my family. I guess I’ve never cranked, excuse me, crashed a bank."
 
Posts: 111649 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
Picture of 41
posted May 16, 2023 08:32 PMHide Post
Man....that is hard to watch. Frown


41
 
Posts: 12328 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of spunk639
posted May 16, 2023 08:58 PMHide Post
Well at least most of it was in English, although nonsensical.
 
Posts: 2952 | Location: Boston, Mass | Registered: December 02, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted May 16, 2023 09:06 PMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by 41:
Man....that is hard to watch. Frown

Beyond hard; painful. I had to stop after about one minute.
 
Posts: 2768 | Registered: November 02, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Peace through
superior firepower
Picture of parabellum
posted May 16, 2023 09:14 PMHide Post
Well, maybe a visit to the crank bank is what he needs. Get all systems up and running. Whatever they're doing for him now sure isn't working.
 
Posts: 111649 | Registered: January 20, 2000Reply With QuoteReport This Post
St. Vitus
Dance Instructor
Picture of blueye
posted May 16, 2023 09:37 PMHide Post
Hire the handicapped has a whole new meaning.
 
Posts: 5402 | Location: basement | Registered: April 06, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Only the strong survive
Picture of 41
posted May 16, 2023 10:27 PMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by blueye:
Hire the handicapped has a whole new meaning.


Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin Eek


41
 
Posts: 12328 | Location: Herndon, VA | Registered: June 11, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of Ozarkwoods
posted May 17, 2023 09:09 AMHide Post
It’s amazing what the mind is capable of! As I was listening and watching him speak I was actually finishing and understanding what he was trying to say. Much like this:

S1M1L4RLY, Y0UR M1ND 15 R34D1NG 7H15 4U70M471C4LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17


ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
 
Posts: 4941 | Location: SWMO | Registered: October 20, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
אַרְיֵה
Picture of V-Tail
posted May 17, 2023 11:35 AMHide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Ozarkwoods:

It’s amazing what the mind is capable of! As I was listening and watching him speak I was actually finishing and understanding what he was trying to say. Much like this:

S1M1L4RLY, Y0UR M1ND 15 R34D1NG 7H15 4U70M471C4LLY W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17
I think that Mr. 'Bellum said it best: "Mambo dogface to the banana patch."



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
 
Posts: 32297 | Location: Central Florida, Orlando area | Registered: January 03, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Itchy was taken
Picture of scratchy
posted May 17, 2023 09:01 PMHide Post
He can filibuster the Senate saying "Good Morning"


_________________
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Posts: 4184 | Location: Colorado | Registered: August 24, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Get my pies
outta the oven!

Picture of PASig
posted May 19, 2023 09:02 AMHide Post
LMAO this just keeps getting better and better.

They drag this slob out to speak at a press conference yesterday on the debt ceiling, are there not dresscode requirements in the US Senate?

He sounds like my eight year old trying to give a report in front of his class, complete with the little look up at the end like “did I do good? Big Grin

https://twitter.com/charliekir...ATrcntUVmjHy8YyHvPCg



I cannot tell you how embarrassed I am to be from the state of Pennsylvania right now.


 
Posts: 35905 | Location: Pennsylvania | Registered: November 12, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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