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paradox in a box |
I'm a bit confused by some of the emancipation statements. I know I may need a lawyer to help but I'm just curious based on the verbiage what this may mean and if any lawyers or people with experience may have an idea. I've cut out all the stuff that doesn't apply, like going back to school, military, etc. My oldest son is 21 and will be emancipated next December or May depending when he finishes college. My youngest is 18, graduated high school, works full time for his mom's daycare center. Based on "A" he is emancipated. But B and C seem to state that if he lives at home he is not. How would a court look on him being over 18 and fully capable of providing for himself yet still living with mom? A: Attaining the age of 18 or graduation from high school without plans for post high school education. B: Between 18 and 21 but domiciled with a parent and principally dependent on said parent the child shall be considered emancipated at age 21. C: Engaging in full time employment after the age of 18 and economically independent of financial support from either parent. These go to eleven. | ||
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| Run Silent Run Deep  |
…they’d look at his income. “ for the most part” dependent in B would come down to if he could survive on his own but chooses not to. The sad part is the courts usually side on the Mothers. _____________________________ Pledge allegiance or pack your bag! The problem with Socialism is that eventually you run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher Spread my work ethic, not my wealth | |||
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Fire begets Fire |
Sorry your in MA Stupid bad laws for fathers. Good luck. (I’d suggest a wise old experienced woman family law attorney who has your back) "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
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quarter MOA visionary |
You have to keep payin' even after they are 18?  | |||
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| Fire begets Fire |
Massholes… Had a business colleague who had a divorce there and spent many nights dinner talking about the atrocities a family law there (and strategies to cope). I don’t want to be a man going through divorce in Massachusetts. "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
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| Member |
If they decide to attend College who is gonna pay for that? | |||
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| paradox in a box |
I left that out. We both pay for college. My older son goes to Worcester State. It's only $12K per year total (he lives at home with mom). The divorce agreement says we each contribute. I could try to lower support on a few grounds and have not done it because it's not worth the fight and I am financially secure currently. But Massachusetts did provide a 25% decrease in support over 18. That change was in 2017. I didn't even know until this year but not bothering to fight. Also the amount I pay for college can be considered on child support number and I haven't dealt with that. These things all require going to court. They would likely cause a dispute and the ex would have the kids thinking I'm evil so I haven't bothered. These go to eleven. | |||
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| Member |
Going to court is not only expensive it can create further problems with your kids. | |||
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| Fire begets Fire |
His kids are adults. They can be given a rifle, a pack of cigarettes and sent off to war to die. They will deal with the divorce just as many divorced kids/people do. While sad and destructive, it’s certainly not the end of the world or necessarily relationship destroying. I’m not sure what you’re advocating for Michael? The man asked a question… And you’re acting like his wife. "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
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| Green grass and high tides  |
i know nothing about which you speak. IIrc you recently got married. So everything you do should be done with the thought of keeping that in tact. Your kids are 18 so they need to get on with their lives. Sounds like your ex is going to keep the kids in her grasp until they finally grow out of her nonsense, if they ever do. Which now days is a big problem for these basement dwellers. I agree with Signifieds last post if you have an attorney that is not very good. Good luck. "Practice like you want to play in the game" | |||
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| paradox in a box |
Well they aren't basement dwellers yet. I mean the older one is in the basement, but he is in college and that is actually saving us a ton of money rather than dorm fees. The younger just graduated high school in spring. He isn't sure what he wants to do but college isn't going to be his thing. This could all be moot if he decides on trade school when his brother finishes college. I wouldn't even put it past the ex to have this in her plan, extend out the support as long as possible by delaying a 1 year trade school entry. One thing I know for sure, both kids don't want to live at home. They keep talking strategies to exit. I could see them getting an apartment together when he graduates. Just looking at all the possibilities. These go to eleven. | |||
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| Member |
WOW. Where did that come from??? I am glad you are not my Dad. WTF. Alienating your kids over a few bucks is stupid. Repeatedly going to court is generally ill advised. Your approach quickly leads to lifetime alienation from your children if not handled properly. I think the OP is an intelligent individual. Btw hang onto your rifle and Chesterfields. | |||
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semi-reformed sailor |
Go back to court and try and get kid 2 off your support..he’s not in school…and working full time…seems like the judge would see living at home is just a crutch for the kid and not required. "Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein “You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020 “A single round of buckshot to the torso almost always results in an immediate change of behavior.” Chris Baker | |||
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| Member |
Escape from Mom? Considered going into the US Military? Gets one out of the house, independent, income, training, travel and a good GI Bill. At least that is how it worked for me a few years ago (1976). | |||
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| Thank you Very little  |
You could always lease them an apartment for a year  Reads to me that until they are on their own or 21 whichever comes first... | |||
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| Member |
What does the language immediately before the list say (e.g. a child shall be considered emancipated when any of the following occurs)? A and B appear to conflict so I’m hoping the preceding language will help reconcile them. If it doesn’t, you’ll need a local lawyer to help. If you used one in the divorce they should explain it to you for free. | |||
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| Fire begets Fire |
Ok … not sure why you think it’s all about $$$ for dad … maybe that’s just how you roll? I know for a fact that you can be 100% incorrect about court and kid damage. You state it as a likelihood - my experience says otherwise. The kids don’t need to understand the decree details. It’s really none of their business (and out of their control unfortunately), other than decisions with whom to stay with/schedule. Then mom and dad need to do right and take care/love the children. Keep them out of the fight and don’t use them. Ginormous family here …  I’ll break out the rifle and the Chesterfields in a moment…it’s SAT night; why not? "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
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Fighting the good fight |
A lawyer... explain something to a client for free? Ha. That's a good one. | |||
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| Fire begets Fire |
In my experience, the first meeting and consultation for about an hour is free. You have to agree that you’re going to get along. "Pacifism is a shifty doctrine under which a man accepts the benefits of the social group without being willing to pay - and claims a halo for his dishonesty." ~Robert A. Heinlein | |||
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| Fighting the good fight |
Right. But this is clearly well past the "free initial consultation" point, if that attorney had previously represented him in the divorce. It was partly a jab at the stereotypical "money-grubbing attorneys" (hence the smiley), and partly not. I definitely would not just assume that discussing the court order with his attorney would be free. | |||
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