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Diary of a BMW driver...... Login/Join 
half-genius,
half-wit
posted
A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver
"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "
 
Posts: 11472 | Location: UK, OR, ONT | Registered: July 10, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Crusty old
curmudgeon
Picture of Jimbo54
posted Hide Post
Big Grin


________________________

"If you can't be a good example, then you'll have to be a horrible warning" -Catherine Aird
 
Posts: 9791 | Location: The right side of Washington State | Registered: September 14, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Rumors of my death
are greatly exaggerated
Picture of coloradohunter44
posted Hide Post
I think you mean Audi....



"Someday I hope to be half the man my bird-dog thinks I am."

FBLM LGB!
 
Posts: 11028 | Location: Commirado | Registered: July 23, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of ridewv
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Sounds about right..... Smile


No car is as much fun to drive, as any motorcycle is to ride.
 
Posts: 7343 | Location: Northern WV | Registered: January 17, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of LimaCharlie
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Traded my BMW Z-4 for a Corvette.


U.S. Army, Retired
 
Posts: 3725 | Location: Northwest Oregon | Registered: June 12, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Raptorman
Picture of Mars_Attacks
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My turn signals are pristine and untouched, however my passing brights and horn are WELL used.


____________________________

Eeewwww, don't touch it!
Here, poke at it with this stick.
 
Posts: 34488 | Location: North, GA | Registered: October 09, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
H.O.F.I.S
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Audi,BMW,MB, all the same.



"I'm sorry, did I break your concentration"?
 
Posts: 1513 | Location: Above water | Registered: September 16, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mensch
Picture of kz1000
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
My turn signals are pristine and untouched, however my passing brights and horn are WELL used.


I use my turn signals, horn & middle finger. My front plate says:

Fü 25968


Figure it out. Big Grin


------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris
 
Posts: 16133 | Location: Ivorydale | Registered: January 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
Picture of Bob at the Beach
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Smile tsk tsk, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey..





 
Posts: 1473 | Location: Boardwalk, Va Beach | Registered: March 10, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Something wild
is loose
Picture of Doc H.
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I long for the inclusion of an autonomous feature in my car that automatically flashes my brights at anyone in front of me going less than 20 mph faster than I am....



"And gentlemen in England now abed, shall think themselves accursed they were not here, and hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks that fought with us upon Saint Crispin's Day"
 
Posts: 2746 | Location: The Shire | Registered: October 22, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Picture of pulicords
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Thanks for the Public Information Announcement! I just acquired my first BMW (X3 M40i) a few days ago and I'm still learning the ropes! I'll keep these lessons in mind!!! Big Grin



This message has been edited. Last edited by: pulicords,


"I'm not fluent in the language of violence, but I know enough to get around in places where it's spoken."
 
Posts: 10279 | Location: The Free State of Arizona | Registered: June 13, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Thank you
Very little
Picture of HRK
posted Hide Post
 
Posts: 24504 | Location: Gunshine State | Registered: November 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Gone but Together Again.
Dad & Uncle
Picture of h2oys
posted Hide Post
Blaming the car is like blaming the gun. Wink
 
Posts: 3841 | Location: St. Louis, MO | Registered: November 24, 2009Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Mine is even better! It has two wheels!


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
posted Hide Post
Mine is even better. It has two wheels!


End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
 
Posts: 16468 | Location: Marquette MI | Registered: July 08, 2014Reply With QuoteReport This Post
King Nothing
Picture of SigSauerP226
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Yooper, two wheels deserves two posts, for sure!!!


I knew I should have bought a 2 series. I didn't think of all the benefits that come with BMW ownership, obviously. I do admit I use the BMW lane often, but now I know to get out of the way. I will, also, give them an apologetic blare of the horn when they rightfully take their position in front of me.




...Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was just a freight train coming your way...
 
Posts: 2583 | Location: Simi Valley, CA | Registered: September 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Mensch
Picture of kz1000
posted Hide Post
quote:
I knew I should have bought a 2 series



Yes, you should have. I'm on my 2nd one. Best performance for the $$$ out there.


------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"

"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
-Bomber Harris
 
Posts: 16133 | Location: Ivorydale | Registered: January 21, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Leave the gun.
Take the cannoli.
posted Hide Post
I swear I saw that MFer on 128 this morning Big Grin
 
Posts: 6634 | Location: New England | Registered: January 06, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Telecom Ronin
Picture of dewhorse
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by pulicords:
Thanks for the Public Information Announcement! I just acquired my first BMW (X3 M40i) a few days ago and I'm still learning the ropes! I'll keep these lessons in mind!!! Big Grin





Very nice, after owning the 30i version for a month I REALLY want a 40i.

And to the OP, the car makes us do things....it's not our fault, doing 80mph and the car just keeps telling you 100mph feels better. It pouts like a beautiful woman not getting her way.....

At least that's what I told my wife when she inquired if I was really doing 200kph.

Damned BMW app Mad
 
Posts: 8301 | Location: Back in NE TX ....to stay | Registered: February 12, 2004Reply With QuoteReport This Post
King Nothing
Picture of SigSauerP226
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by kz1000:
quote:
I knew I should have bought a 2 series



Yes, you should have. I'm on my 2nd one. Best performance for the $$$ out there.


They really do seem like awesome cars. Part prices scared me away, though I've read the 2 series is supposed to be very reliable.




...Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, was just a freight train coming your way...
 
Posts: 2583 | Location: Simi Valley, CA | Registered: September 25, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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