A Day in the Diary of a BMW Driver
"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver’s licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.)

But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW! "

I think you mean Audi....

Sounds about right.....

Traded my BMW Z-4 for a Corvette.

My turn signals are pristine and untouched, however my passing brights and horn are WELL used.

Audi,BMW,MB, all the same.

quote:

Originally posted by Mars_Attacks:
My turn signals are pristine and untouched, however my passing brights and horn are WELL used.

I use my turn signals, horn & middle finger. My front plate says:

Fü 25968


Figure it out.

tsk tsk, it’s not the destination, it’s the journey..

I long for the inclusion of an autonomous feature in my car that automatically flashes my brights at anyone in front of me going less than 20 mph faster than I am....

Thanks for the Public Information Announcement! I just acquired my first BMW (X3 M40i) a few days ago and I'm still learning the ropes! I'll keep these lessons in mind!!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: pulicords,

Blaming the car is like blaming the gun.

Mine is even better! It has two wheels!

Mine is even better. It has two wheels!

Yooper, two wheels deserves two posts, for sure!!!


I knew I should have bought a 2 series. I didn't think of all the benefits that come with BMW ownership, obviously. I do admit I use the BMW lane often, but now I know to get out of the way. I will, also, give them an apologetic blare of the horn when they rightfully take their position in front of me.

quote:

I knew I should have bought a 2 series

Yes, you should have. I'm on my 2nd one. Best performance for the $$$ out there.

I swear I saw that MFer on 128 this morning

quote:

Originally posted by pulicords:
Thanks for the Public Information Announcement! I just acquired my first BMW (X3 M40i) a few days ago and I'm still learning the ropes! I'll keep these lessons in mind!!!

Very nice, after owning the 30i version for a month I REALLY want a 40i.

And to the OP, the car makes us do things....it's not our fault, doing 80mph and the car just keeps telling you 100mph feels better. It pouts like a beautiful woman not getting her way.....

At least that's what I told my wife when she inquired if I was really doing 200kph.

Damned BMW app

quote:

Originally posted by kz1000:

quote:

I knew I should have bought a 2 series

Yes, you should have. I'm on my 2nd one. Best performance for the $$$ out there.

They really do seem like awesome cars. Part prices scared me away, though I've read the 2 series is supposed to be very reliable.