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Had an amazing week last week! (Found my birth mother) Login/Join 
sick puppy
posted
I wanted to take the time to share something very personal and very exciting that happened this last week.

I am turning 29 this year. I was raised all my life knowing that I was adopted. It never bothered me too much - i knew the spiritual and general reasons why, but i always wondered what happened and where i was from. With the rise of the internet in my teens, i began looking on all the sites i could. In attempts to find my birthmother. I posted on forums, looked at registries, paid for potential info from some premium sites and through my adoption agency, all with no luck.

Out of pure curiosity, a few years ago, I did the Ancestry.com DNA test to figure out my genetic ancestry. My father-in-law works for FamilySearch, so he was very curious about the rise of DNA tests in junction with genealogy, and we were all curious where it traced my ancestors. I bought the test after a night of discouragement perusing adoption forums again. But when the test arrived for me to spit in the little jar, i hesitated. As much as i told myself it was just for my DNA ancestry, i knew it would give me DNA matches, too. But i hesitated because i was worried it wouldnt match me, and it'd be another dead end. Buuut i took the test and got the results a while later - no matches closer than 4th cousin, and i'm 73% from the UK.

Then, on 6/24, my wife came to bed -i was on my computer, and she said something about how she and her dad had been talking genealogy and he had asked a question about my test. I didnt know the answer so i logged in. And there was a new match.

“[User name] is your mother.”

I was in complete shock. I showed my wife and she got super excited for me, but i was in disbelief -well, more just absolute shock. I hardly slept that night. The next day, i sent a message through Ancestry. It was a quick “hey, i took the test because i was adopted, it says we're a match - let me know if that could be right” type of thing. I had no clue what to say or what to expect.

But she responded, and we started talking, and sure enough. She's definitely my birth mother. She had taken the test earlier this year because the tests were on sale and, linked to your family tree, helps move genealogy along - her husband was the one who suggested it.

We happen to live within 20 minutes of each other here in Utah, so we met up for lunch last Friday, and caught up. What a surreal experience! I feel very lucky, extremely happy, and mostly, still in shock! Its amazing to me how many similarities we share. Things i figured were learned behavior from my parents now seem like they run in my family - in my genes so to speak. And not just little quirks but big, core interests too.

But my birth mother and mom are very similar people, too.

Anyway - I felt like i should share such happy news! Its a close of a big question mark in my life and the start of a new chapter, for sure.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: PorterN,



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While you may be able to get away with bottom shelf whiskey, stay the hell away from bottom shelf tequila. - FishOn
 
Posts: 7547 | Location: Alpine, Ut | Registered: February 17, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oriental Redneck
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Great story! Congratulations.


Q






 
Posts: 28036 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: September 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I believe in the
principle of
Due Process
Picture of JALLEN
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It's wonderful that it was happy.

Sometimes, it isn't. It is impossible to unring the bell.

My first wife was adopted. I was able to do some tracking in public records, but she and her sister did not want to know, so I dropped the trail.

It took a lot of courage for you to get where you are.




Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.

When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson

"Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown
 
Posts: 48369 | Location: Texas hill country | Registered: July 04, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Oriental Redneck
Picture of 12131
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quote:
Originally posted by JALLEN:
It's wonderful that it was happy.

Sometimes, it isn't. It is impossible to unring the bell.

My first wife was adopted. I was able to do some tracking in public records, but she and her sister did not want to know, so I dropped the trail.


It took a lot of courage for you to get where you are.

Entirely not necessary for this particular thread, imho. Wink


Q






 
Posts: 28036 | Location: TEXAS | Registered: September 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Congrats. What a feel good story. Thanks for sharing!
 
Posts: 3592 | Registered: March 04, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Joie de vivre
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Not a long story at all, what a great outcome, I'm very happy for you.
 
Posts: 3869 | Location: 1,960' up in Murphy, NC | Registered: January 29, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'm very glad it worked out and your birth mom was receptive to meeting you. Hopefully you can have a relationship with her. We have a similar story in my family except it was brothers who never met for 73 years. My take is life is short and let bygones be bygones. Your birthmom had reasons for what happened 29 years ago but it was also 29 years ago.
 
Posts: 5067 | Location: Florida Panhandle  | Registered: November 23, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Serenity now!
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Wow, what a great story. I'm happy it worked out so well. I'm sure it was a wonderful experience.



Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ
 
Posts: 4950 | Location: Highland, UT | Registered: September 14, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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Happy to hear!
I went through a somewhat similar experience in my mid-20s. Definitely glad for it.




The Enemy's gate is down.
 
Posts: 16207 | Location: Spring, TX | Registered: July 11, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
delicately calloused
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Awesome! So you're saying your birth mother likes HKs too? Big Grin



You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier
 
Posts: 29957 | Location: Norris Lake, TN | Registered: May 07, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
You're going to feel
a little pressure...
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My coworker has a very similar story. Years of frustration followed by a happy reunion, this year.
I love stories like this!

Congratulations.

Bruce






"The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with." -Douglas Adams

“It is just as difficult and dangerous to try to free a people that wants to remain servile as it is to try to enslave a people that wants to remain free."
-Niccolo Machiavelli

The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. -Mencken
 
Posts: 4251 | Location: AK-49 | Registered: October 06, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Spinnin' Chain
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Amazing story! Congratulations!
 
Posts: 3270 | Location: Oregun | Registered: August 02, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
His Royal Hiney
Picture of Rey HRH
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Congratulations.

I'm impressed that the notice didn't just say, "hey, maryann over here might be related to you."

How the heck did the program figure she was YOUR mother.

And, just interesting on the odds that you and your mother would be on the same site and both used the dna kit.

Did she also get the same notification as you did? "Hey, PorterN is your son."



"It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life – daily and hourly. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual." Viktor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning, 1946.
 
Posts: 20200 | Location: The Free State of Arizona - Ditat Deus | Registered: March 24, 2011Reply With QuoteReport This Post
sick puppy
posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Rey HRH:
Congratulations.

I'm impressed that the notice didn't just say, "hey, maryann over here might be related to you."

How the heck did the program figure she was YOUR mother.

And, just interesting on the odds that you and your mother would be on the same site and both used the dna kit.

Did she also get the same notification as you did? "Hey, PorterN is your son."


Thats DNA for ya. Its specific enough to tell you exact when its close enough of a relation. The 4th thru 8th cousins get progressively "iffy," for several reasons. But yeah. Evem as popular as Ancestry.com is, its pretty amazing.

She did the test but didnt see the match til i messaged her. Then she saw it said i was her child.



____________________________
While you may be able to get away with bottom shelf whiskey, stay the hell away from bottom shelf tequila. - FishOn
 
Posts: 7547 | Location: Alpine, Ut | Registered: February 17, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
A Beautiful Mind
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Outstanding! Congratulations!




“The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, and intolerable...”
― H.L. Mencken

-All views expressed are those of the author and do not reflect those of the author's employer-
 
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eh-TEE-oh-clez
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Congrats.
 
Posts: 13067 | Location: Orange County, California | Registered: May 19, 2002Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'm glad it worked out. By the way, what do your adoptive parents have to say about it?


P229
 
Posts: 3969 | Location: Sacramento, CA | Registered: November 21, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Member
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How cool. I'm super happy for you!
 
Posts: 691 | Registered: January 04, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
semi-reformed sailor
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Cool



"Violence, naked force, has settled more issues in history than has any other factor.” Robert A. Heinlein

“You may beat me, but you will never win.” sigmonkey-2020

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Posts: 11526 | Location: Temple, Texas! | Registered: October 07, 2006Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Political Cynic
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congrats Smile



[B] Against ALL enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC


 
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