Went through this last February. Since I retired at the end of 2020, I had time to help. At least the housing prices were high and they got a good deal. Lost my Dad in October.

I've been trying to clear out junk in my own home, but a good deal came from my in-laws and the Mrs. won't part with anything.

Today is my 73 BD. Mother is almost 98. Recently she broke her hip in a fall. Got that fixed. Went to rehab. Got Covid. Went to another covid ready rehab. Now is in assisted living while my two kids and I work to make a mother in law room at daughters house.
As in this thread, Mother never threw anything away. And has tons of stuff for craft, kitchen, sewing, as seen on tv health books and cook books. Mother has always been very talented in crafts and paints. And cooking is out of this world. But her condition and memory are too far gone now.
I have to clean out her house now. Not knowing what to do with all that stuff. Plus I feel bad taking over these matters. Guilty even.
I swear I will not do this to my kids. They are helping greatly. It is easier for them to just dump the stuff because they are one generation removed.
Anybody want a pickup load of sewing fabric? How about dried flowers and pinecones for craft?

I have friends the same way who are in there 50’s. Both spouses always blame the other spouse. My wife usually comes home and cleans a spotless house for two days after visiting them.

I guarantee some of the people who grew up in that type of environment are the same way.

Happens all the time. I remind my parents of that too.

Used to work this kind of thing with my buddy. Straight up hoarding. It changed me seeing all that. I try hard to combat it. Wife not so much.

During the flood of 2016 we lost 80% of everything we owned . After that , my wife and I swore we would never accumulate that much crap ever again .About a year ago she hired the oldest grandson and one of his buddies to clear everything out of the attic .The floor of the garage was covered with boxes and plastic bins . Almost all of it was thrown away or donated . We are determined to not put our kids through the misery of dealing with decades of junk .

Hamden, this is going to sound cold harted but having been through this myself my recommendation is to toss it. Don't try to sell the stuff, dont try to give it away either unless you know a one and done charity that will come, load it and take it. It's more trouble than it's worth unless she has some valuable items.

In most cases, be a wrecking ball and be done with it.

I've been through this when my father died suddenly 2 summers ago, and soon to be the responsible person when my mother eventually has to leave her home.

My suggestions are:

1) Be the one and only person in charge or do not do it. Decide on what gets tossed, sold, donated, or given to a family member. Decide how to dispose of the house. Decide how to manage the parents' finances if that is needed. Committees of family members are to be avoided at all costs!

2) Involve a relative who is interested in family history if that isn't you. Let them sift through old photos, letters, documents, etc. Things like an old ID or high school yearbook look like trash but would be interesting to the family's historian.

3) re-read #1 above. One person in charge, and nobody gets to 2nd guess them.

quote:

Originally posted by Hamden106:
I have to clean out her house now. Not knowing what to do with all that stuff. Plus I feel bad taking over these matters. Guilty even.
I swear I will not do this to my kids. They are helping greatly. It is easier for them to just dump the stuff because they are one generation removed.
Anybody want a pickup load of sewing fabric? How about dried flowers and pinecones for craft?

Fortunately, my parents volunteer at the local community Hall, where they accept furniture, clothing, and other home goods to re-sell later in the year; low-income families come to find items that would be too costly for them otherwise. I've made MANY trips down there, the homeless guy who manages teh furniture who they allow to live on property, I've brought him a couple of left-over plates as a thank you.

I feel guilty using them as a dumping ground but, I hate tossing perfectly functioning items, as there's more than enough stuff to take to the dump/recycle. Looks like I have another trip back up there as the realtor wants to take picture this weekend and I don't think my mother has organized/packed her sewing stuff or, my dad cleaned his bureau in their room.

There are charities that will take anything and everything . No sorting , just box it up .

Names???

quote:

Originally posted by selogic:
There are charities that will take anything and everything . No sorting , just box it up .

When my Father In Law died, we took his jewelry and valuables and his gun...singular.

Then we called an organization called Christmas In April and they came over with a truck and took all the rest for their charity work.

Most counties will have a low-income senior or, convalescent home or, organization that will take a lot, no questions.