Go | New | Find | Notify | Tools | Reply | |
| I believe in the principle of Due Process  |
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender. ****************************** * MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ******************************* FEMALE PROCEDURE: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!! 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3.. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine.. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.. Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | ||
|
| Purveyor of Fine Avatars  |
And you couldn't put this joke in the gripe thread regarding ATMs because...? "I'm yet another resource-consuming kid in an overpopulated planet raised to an alarming extent by Hollywood and Madison Avenue, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you're old and weak!" - Calvin, "Calvin & Hobbes" | |||
|
Tinker Sailor Soldier Pie |
At least she can apparently drive a manual. ~Alan Acta Non Verba NRA Life Member (Patron) God, Family, Guns, Country Men will fight and die to protect women... because women protect everything else. ~Andrew Klavan | |||
|
Frangas non Flectes |
It was so I could read it and laugh. Thanks, Jallen. ______________________________________________ “There are plenty of good reasons for fighting, but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty Himself hates with you, too.” | |||
|
| Bookers Bourbon and a good cigar  |
That's funny. Thanks for posting. If you're goin' through hell, keep on going. Don't slow down. If you're scared don't show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you're there. NRA ENDOWMENT LIFE MEMBER | |||
|
Member |
This is the reason I go inside the bank. It is faster. EasyFire [AT] zianet.com ---------------------------------- NRA Certified Pistol Instructor Colorado Concealed Handgun Permit Instructor Nationwide Agent for > US LawShield > https://www.texaslawshield.com...p.php?promo=ondemand CCW Safe > www.ccwsafe.com/CCHPI | |||
|
Member |
That is funny. Thanks Vic Vic Johnson | |||
|
Oriental Redneck |
CLICK BAIT! CLICK BAIT! I'M TELLING! Q | |||
|
Plowing straight ahead come what may |
And you forgot to mention that the keypad is in Braille  ******************************************************** "we've gotta roll with the punches, learn to play all of our hunches Making the best of what ever comes our way Forget that blind ambition and learn to trust your intuition Plowing straight ahead come what may And theres a cowboy in the jungle" Jimmy Buffet | |||
|
Member |
Lol ! Funny | |||
|
| Member |
Nope, she stalled a slushbox. | |||
|
| Powered by Social Strata |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
© SIGforum 2024