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I nearly shot my daughter... Login/Join 
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Picture of Dreamerx4
posted
I know thread titles can be misleading, so wanted to put it right out there, because I did.

Friday night, about 1:45, my wife frantically wakes me to tell me someone is in the house. The alarm is on its countdown to alarm, and the individual door alarm sounded briefly.

I am trying to process this from a dead sleep, but can hear someone, so grab my gun from its place, go to doorway of our room, and peak to look down stairs, there is a figure coming up, so I raise gun and turn on rail light.

It is my daughter... the one whom I had spoken to earlier that night. We had plans to meet in next town over for breakfast. That way neither of us had to drive as far. She decided she would stay at the house and sleep in a bit to see her mom and I more.

What I was not ready for was what happened immediately after.

I had an immediate urge to vomit. I didn't, but wished I could. My heart was pounding out of my chest. And, most concerning and odd to me, I felt an urge to harm myself. I have never felt such a feeling. How could I possibly harm a loved one, even accidentally???

I could not believe how close I came.

My finger was NOT on the trigger, I did identify my target, I did notice my shepherd on stairs wagging his tail, not barking, seemed very odd and frustrating thinking back, he always barks! This was a cause to pause for me as well... But is was so fast.... I still was completely ready to shoot...

I feel that my instincts played out well, and more importantly by the Grace of God, I did not shoot.

My wife, daughter and I spoke at length the next morning, after I had a very fitful night of sleep.

From now on, any visitor will identify themselves until they receive a response. Regardless of time. Will be much easier to go back to sleep from that happening than what I experienced I am certain.

I share this, hopefully to prevent anyone else from experiencing the same.

Doug



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
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2 things

get a flashlight and tell your daughter to call next time. even if it is 130 in the morning!!!
 
Posts: 7902 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I kind of know your feeling. I’ve had my wife hit me to wake me up and was flooded with adrenaline. In my case it was footsteps outside on my deck. As I racked one in the chamber, I heard “don’t shoot neighbor, we lost our keys”. We had been house sitting for them.

Maybe you could have had that talk before the incident, but you handled it well.


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Posts: 1146 | Location: Vermont | Registered: March 24, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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A very cautionary tale. Thank you for sharing. My kids are almost at the age where they will be leaving home. I am already buying up lights for every room and gun i use as a nightstand gun for this reason. your post simply encourages me to make it a priority.
 
Posts: 6633 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 23, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Glad that ended ok. People not living in a home just should not show up and walk in, at night unannounced.

You had an adrenaline dump. Vomiting is not uncommon.
 
Posts: 17944 | Location: SE Michigan | Registered: February 10, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Ronin101:
2 things

get a flashlight and tell your daughter to call next time. even if it is 130 in the morning!!!


This


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Posts: 2306 | Location: New Hampshire | Registered: November 29, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I don't think you did anything wrong here. IMO you did everything right. Smile Who wouldn't investigate unexpected noise in the middle of the night? You didn't have your finger on the trigger of the gun and you identified the target with the aid of a light and the visual cue of the dog's behavior. Arguably, you could have set up the identification protocol for an unannounced visit earlier, but you know what they say about hindsight.
 
Posts: 28952 | Location: Johnson City, TN | Registered: April 28, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Age Quod Agis
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You reacted well, and followed either the training you have, or the plan you have set up.

You used the light, you kept your finger off the trigger, you were aware of your dog, and the fact that something with the dog wasn't right. You took the time to understand your target and held off until you KNEW the actual threat, not the possible threat.

I'd say you did extremely well.

I also understand why you are shaken; but the reason to have safety rules, and to follow the essential rules of gun handling is to make sure that nothing nasty happens when situations like this occur.

Again, you did well, and that fact should reinforce your good habits.



"I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation."

Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II.
 
Posts: 13013 | Location: Central Florida | Registered: November 02, 2008Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by egregore:
I don't think you did anything wrong here. IMO you did everything right. Smile Who wouldn't investigate unexpected noise in the middle of the night? You didn't have your finger on the trigger of the gun and you identified the target with the aid of a light and the visual cue of the dog's behavior. Arguably, you could have set up the identification protocol for an unannounced visit earlier, but you know what they say about hindsight.



I think this is the struggle I had.

I do think things went well, but I had not contemplated id protocol...

We are empty nesters now, so it is something to address.

I do not keep a nightstand gun. I have a safe that I have to open, but I do it so I am more awake. This takes time, but is a risk I feel is worth it.

I do have a light on the gun I use, it worked amazing, and saved my daughters life.

My physical feelings were not expected. Nor, have I heard of folks with them. Thought I'd share to see if I am weird, or???

Thanks all.



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
stupid beyond
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Flash....


...Thunder


Try a codeword. Seems like you did fine.



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Posts: 8247 | Registered: September 13, 2012Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I do have a light, thank God. She texted.... but, My wife and I both have do not disturb on our phones... texts are silent.

Again, flaws in our "system" hoping my experience helps others.

I can NOT imagine harming a loved one.

quote:
Originally posted by Ronin101:
2 things

get a flashlight and tell your daughter to call next time. even if it is 130 in the morning!!!



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by Dreamerx4:
My finger was NOT on the trigger, I did identify my target, I did notice my shepherd on stairs wagging his tail, not barking, seemed very odd and frustrating thinking back, he always barks! This was a cause to pause for me as well... But is was so fast.... I still was completely ready to shoot...


The dog's vote counts - trust the dog.
 
Posts: 2561 | Location: KY | Registered: October 20, 2001Reply With QuoteReport This Post
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not
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a flashlight not a weapon light!!! and turn the phones on...if you needed to call 911 do you want to have to wait for the phone to boot up.


egregore....pointing a loaded gun at a family member is not right.


IMHO code words seem like an unnecessary complication. What if the person in the house doesn't know the password or forgets it? how about "Who the fuck is in my house?"
 
Posts: 7902 | Location: Bismarck ND | Registered: February 19, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ronin101:
a flashlight not a weapon light!!! and turn the phones on...if you needed to call 911 do you want to have to wait for the phone to boot up.


egregore....pointing a loaded gun at a family member is not right.[QUOTE]

I would not have considered anything but a weapon mounted light before Friday night.... I see a reason now.

In honesty, I had thoughts of ridding all weapons from my home, but, I know that is not appropriate either.

I should clarify on the phones. We have iphones... we set do not disturb at night. It keeps phone silent from calls or texts. We have family members on our "favorites" list, if they call, the phone will ring, but not for texts. The phones are always on.

We don't use code words, in honesty, I would have struggled having anything other than a name.

I know her voice, I know her name, that is easy, and I think easy is best when exhausted, and groggy.

Really just wanting to be transparent, and hoping the experience helps others. I do NOT ever want to have another one like this.



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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Thanks for sharing Dreamer.

Did the fact that the alarm was counting down and eventually disarmed register to you at the time that someone friendly was in the house? Assuming you have a motion sensor, it'd have triggered if it was a bad guy?

@Ronin, so you recommend a flashlight and no weapon light?
 
Posts: 1814 | Location: Austin TX | Registered: October 30, 2003Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by senza nome:
quote:
Originally posted by Dreamerx4:
My finger was NOT on the trigger, I did identify my target, I did notice my shepherd on stairs wagging his tail, not barking, seemed very odd and frustrating thinking back, he always barks! This was a cause to pause for me as well... But is was so fast.... I still was completely ready to shoot...


The dog's vote counts - trust the dog.



YES, looking back, YES! He barks at friggen leaves, squirrels, delivery drivers, you name it... It seemed odd, but thinking back, it did cause me pause.



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Just Hanging Around
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quote:
Originally posted by Dreamerx4:
I do have a light, thank God. She texted.... but, My wife and I both have do not disturb on our phones... texts are silent.


Assuming you have an iPhone, it’s possible to put people in a Favorites list. Even when your phone is on Do Not Disturb, you’ll get the call, or message from that person.

I use do not disturb too, but sometime it might be necessary to get an emergency call from someone you know.

By the way, I think you did good.
 
Posts: 3279 | Location: NE Kansas | Registered: February 24, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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quote:
Originally posted by saigonsmuggler:
Thanks for sharing Dreamer.

Did the fact that the alarm was counting down and eventually disarmed register to you at the time that someone friendly was in the house? Assuming you have a motion sensor, it'd have triggered if it was a bad guy?

@Ronin, so you recommend a flashlight and no weapon light?


No, it happened so fast, trying to register my wife jolting me awake, getting the gun, hearing someone... I wasn't sure why it hadn't alarmed yet...

I KNEW NO one was coming over, I knew it... I was confused at same time.

Seems dumb now, but that was train of thought.



 
Posts: 1044 | Location: Virginia | Registered: October 29, 2007Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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I'm glad your daughter is alright. I know a CPD officer that shot and killed his own son in a very similar incident. If you have an Apple IPhone, in the Do Not Disturb setting it allows calls from whomever you put on the "exception" list. And IIRC, if a person not on that list calls three times it allows the call to go through.
 
Posts: 5809 | Location: Chicago | Registered: August 18, 2010Reply With QuoteReport This Post
Too soon old,
too late smart
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About midnight one night, an apartment manager’s husband was cleaning apartments and mistakenly entered ours. I was awake the instant his key slid into the lock. He was greeted by the blinding glare of my Maglite and told the freeze in my gruffest voice. He rightly assumed I was holding a gun on him. His stuttering fit while he tried to apologize and explain how he made a mistake served to lighten my mood.

Now days, each of several firearms has their own flashlight nearby.
 
Posts: 4757 | Location: Southern Texas | Registered: May 17, 2005Reply With QuoteReport This Post
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