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delicately calloused |
As some may have gleaned, Mrs DF and I have 4 boys. The oldest son has struggled most of his life with drug addiction. They say marijuana is not a gateway drug. But for our boy it was. He was drawn to it in high school because the cool kids were doing it and because he liked the high. Skip ahead a few years and now it's coke, acid, you name it and all of the 'S' that comes with it. Eventually, we had to force him out of the house to protect the other boys. As he was leaving I told him the rough edges of his character he didn't bother to polish at home would be knocked off by the world. Since then he has had cycles of homelessness, jail, homelessness, street beatings, a fitful short marriage, prison, homelessness and finally, hit by a truck while crossing the street. He spent a week in a hospital in Houston only to be potentially released before he could care for himself. He called us and asked to come home. After all of these years of parental heartache, tears, worry, and pain. Our boy was on the line asking to come home. With a degree of dread in our hearts we agreed and brought him home. I say dread, because people in the cycle Jr DF#1 has experienced, typically return to that cycle if they ever left it in the first place. Upon his arrival I interviewed him at his request. He sat across from me for the first time in decades and one by one declared his offenses and apologized for them. As a dad, that was hard to watch and hear. I wanted to stop him and say let's just start over, but I knew his 'confession' was therapeutic......turns out for the both of us. I told him I wanted to proceed cautiously and to not be offended if we didn't open ourselves up to him any time soon since, frankly, we did not know him anymore. He understood. Since then we have watched him rebuild his life and make good choices. He goes to work, saves his money, begins school in January. He goes to church on his own and joins us in family prayer. All this time I have stayed back and watched for signs, indications. He has rejected opportunities to fall back into the cycle when no one was watching. He does mature things and focuses on sober, consequential activities. My assessment so far is that he has become a greater man that I am. And now after all of this time, I do believe my prodigal son has come home. It appears his polish is true and continuing with the finest media now. Thanks for reading. You’re a lying dog-faced pony soldier | ||
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Go Vols! |
Best of luck to him. | |||
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The success of a solution usually depends upon your point of view |
Hopefully he has reached the point where he has decided to climb out of the pit his life has becoume. As a parent I can't really imagine the pain you and your wife have gone through by doing what you needed to do. Best wishes for you all. “We truly live in a wondrous age of stupid.” - 83v45magna "I think it's important that people understand free speech doesn't mean free from consequences societally or politically or culturally." -Pranjit Kalita, founder and CIO of Birkoa Capital Management | |||
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Member |
We all love a good comeback story, I'm sure you are hoping and praying for one as well. Good luck to him and your family. | |||
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Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet. |
will keep all of you in my prayers... Thom "Tulta munille!" NRA Benefactor Life Member NRA Certified Instructor NRA Range Safety Officer SAF Life Member | |||
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Member |
Curious what his "come to Jesus moment" was. Was it on his own or has he been getting counseling? In either case congrats to you both and while the journey will be hard, the rewards will be many! Hedley Lamarr: Wait, wait, wait. I'm unarmed. Bart: Alright, we'll settle this like men, with our fists. Hedley Lamarr: Sorry, I just remembered . . . I am armed. | |||
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You're going to feel a little pressure... |
Great news, that he is experiencing some clarity and sharing it with you. That talk will stay with you, even if he stumbles. One thing that may keep him on the path is mentoring others that are struggling with their own demons. If he is in a strong and solid place (it sure sounds like he is), sharing that strength with someone else who needs it will increase it and remind him of the dangers that lie off the path. Happy for you and your family. Well done. Bruce "The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. 'Make it evil,' he'd been told. 'Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with." -Douglas Adams “It is just as difficult and dangerous to try to free a people that wants to remain servile as it is to try to enslave a people that wants to remain free." -Niccolo Machiavelli The trouble with fighting for human freedom is that one spends most of one's time defending scoundrels. For it is against scoundrels that oppressive laws are first aimed, and oppression must be stopped at the beginning if it is to be stopped at all. -Mencken | |||
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Wait, what? |
Sounds like you both have had the opportunity for closure- couldn't be happier for the both of you. As a parent, I can only hope I never have to face the trials you have, but your story gives me the faith that it is doable. “Remember to get vaccinated or a vaccinated person might get sick from a virus they got vaccinated against because you’re not vaccinated.” - author unknown | |||
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I believe in the principle of Due Process |
From your lips to God’s ears. I’ve not had to deal with this, but can well understand the depth of distress and worry which results. It must be terrible. It seems to be on a positive track now. So far, so good, for your sake. Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me. When you had the votes, we did things your way. Now, we have the votes and you will be doing things our way. This lesson in political reality from Lyndon B. Johnson "Some things are apparent. Where government moves in, community retreats, civil society disintegrates and our ability to control our own destiny atrophies. The result is: families under siege; war in the streets; unapologetic expropriation of property; the precipitous decline of the rule of law; the rapid rise of corruption; the loss of civility and the triumph of deceit. The result is a debased, debauched culture which finds moral depravity entertaining and virtue contemptible." - Justice Janice Rogers Brown | |||
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ammoholic |
You did something right, it isn't luck. It's a blessing. | |||
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As Extraordinary as Everyone Else |
Prayers sent to you, your son and family. ------------------ Eddie Our Founding Fathers were men who understood that the right thing is not necessarily the written thing. -kkina | |||
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Fighting the good fight |
Great news, and good luck to him. I've dealt with a lot of drug addicts in my career. The major ingredient to staying clean seems to be completely severing themselves from their old friends, which often involves moving out of the area where they've been living. Granted, this alone is by no means a guarantee, because an addict can find bad influences no matter where they go. But without completely removing the temptation of their old friends and old hangouts, even the most seemingly motivated addicts will succumb in a short time, in my experience. I truly hope that moving away from where he's been living and coming back home, combined with his own internal motivation and your support, will be enough to allow him to be successful. | |||
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Bad dog! |
I don't know which is the greater heartache for any parent, the death of a child, or losing a child to drugs, with all the attendant suffering of homelessness, street violence, prison, in endless cycles. I know better than to give the homeless money, but I feel compassion for them. Some are no doubt just bad characters, but most, I think, are broken in any of the many ways life can break us. I wish all the best for you, Darthfuster, and your boy, and your family. Some awful stories do have happy endings. ______________________________________________________ "You get much farther with a kind word and a gun than with a kind word alone." | |||
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Drill Here, Drill Now |
+1 Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. | |||
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I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not |
thanks for the reminder that all things are possible though Jesus Christ. | |||
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I kneel for my God, and I stand for my flag |
I'll pray that it lasts. | |||
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Member |
Adding our prayers..... Bill Gullette | |||
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Member |
Am truly grateful for you choosing to share this with us , thank you . Many can benefit from this , more than you know.This message has been edited. Last edited by: bendable, Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency. Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first | |||
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Nature is full of magnificent creatures |
Thank you for sharing this with us. What a great blessing the Lord has given you. I will keep him and your family in my family's prayers. | |||
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Age Quod Agis |
Hallelujah! "I vowed to myself to fight against evil more completely and more wholeheartedly than I ever did before. . . . That’s the only way to pay back part of that vast debt, to live up to and try to fulfill that tremendous obligation." Alfred Hornik, Sunday, December 2, 1945 to his family, on his continuing duty to others for surviving WW II. | |||
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