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| No, not like Bill Clinton  |
When my oldest got out of the Marines he was 22, I let him stay with us ( My second wife and I). I laid down the rules This is very temporary You will get a job You will not be a slob You will help around the house Contribute a couple hundred dollars a month for utilities and food He did none of the above except the job, I got him hooked up with one of my large clients that does road and bridge construction. He did well there. Thank God I had a talk with him a couple of times about what he wasn't doing. Nothing changed so I kicked him out. I think he stayed about 4-5 months. He went to his mothers place, a one bedroom apartment Thankfully since then he has done well, good job, and bought a house just before covid. He turned out good, he needed a kick in the ass | |||
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Member |
Would you adopt me? . | |||
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Member |
Out of my own curiosity..I’d like to know if any or all are heavily on social media applications. Because I think they are a massive detriment to these generations. They watch other freeloaders and since they already have herd mentality, they want to do what everyone else is doing, even if it’s bullshit and bad for their life. I gave a kid a high compliment yesterday. I’m in my 50’s, stay in excellent shape, but this time of year it’s 90’s and high humidity. I put my truck into the body shop this morning, finally, after waiting 5 full years for my auto-body shop to take it. Paint work on the rear right corner panel and replace the rear bumper which has been sitting in the garage (new one) for 2 full years. My body shop I use is the best there is, here. And he had staff quit and refuse to work, at any job, during covid. So many days the owner is now in the shop laboring away. Anyway, I needed my annual mulch. 50 bags of it. My truck has a tonneau, an accordion fold em type. I can remove it, if necessary but it’s more effort than it’s worth. So I go to a landscape store (not HD or Lowes) and I’ll get 15-16 very large bags of hardwood mulch at a time. Yesterday and Saturday, same kid, is helping me load. I refuse to let them do it by themselves because they’ll damage either the tonneau, the rails, or both. So I stand there on the rear bumper and put it into the bed myself. This kid yesterday, same one, is picking each heavy ass bag of that shit, walking it to me from the pallet, handing it to me. I told him they should at least give me a dolly. He says “I don’t mind”. Real slender kid. A little shorter than me, so probably 6 foot even. He’s out in that heat with me, taking pride in doing manual labor. After 2 straight days we’re done, my third day in a row. And I finally had to say some thing. I told him I was proud of him and he asked why. “Most kids your age or little fucking bitches who all want to be influencers. You’re here with a real damn job, doing real labor, and not bitching about the work, the heat, nothing” He just smiled. Wore boots, guarantee he drove some kind of truck. I was proud of him because I see few like them. Rest of ‘em his age I see, nose buried in the phone, addicted to it and social media apps. Kids like him are going to end up being pilots, business owners, President. Pussy, weak ass, snowflake generations we are dealing with. You want a solution long term for this type of shit? Do what I’m working on, having purchased 6 acres already, move rural. If you are far enough away from a major city, they won’t want to live with you any longer. When you are ready, get that acreage, build your house and shop (I’m doing metal buildings), the fuck away. Choose a smaller town/city that has all the stores you’ll need for supplies and fucking bounce. These kids will have no interest in living there, and you’ll never have to worry about it again. Close to a major city, they’ll keep on wanting to free load. My rural space, has everything outdoors you can imagine, but no chain stores within 30+ miles  What am I doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone | |||
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Ammoholic |
Exactly what I meant. This is a perfect opportunity to teach them to be adults on their own. That would help them more than providing room and board while creating a false view of the world and life. It may be too late to learn that lesson, but at some point all birds kick the fledglings out the nest and let them learn to fly on their own. Jesse Sic Semper Tyrannis | |||
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Member |
"It's gon' be some slow singing -n- flower bringing............ if my burglar alarm starts ringing" | |||
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BOTH of them are attached to social media 24/7. Clueless lil brats! I am exhausted with hearing about how they wanna be content creators and can get rich. Shook my own kids from that BS. Daughter has her BA and is working on a law degree and my son is a certified personal trainer that has a great client list. The guy looks like an Olympian. "It's gon' be some slow singing -n- flower bringing............ if my burglar alarm starts ringing" | |||
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| Member |
They don't respect all the time, hard work, blood sweat and tears you put into getting to where you are. You created your own success- No one gave it to you. Given the chance they'd suck you dry and then complain. You're right beyond words= Best Wishes and Good Luck. ____________________________________________________ The butcher with the sharpest knife has the warmest heart. | |||
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| Member |
Preparing them for life with out you starts now. (12 years too late)This message has been edited. Last edited by: bendable, Safety, Situational Awareness and proficiency. Neck Ties, Hats and ammo brass, Never ,ever touch'em w/o asking first | |||
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| Member |
Gentlemen. I am now in the area of needing prayer. I AM in fact an asshole because I won’t give her my home or kick a paying tenant out to let her mooch off of us, smoke weed, screw vagrants and lay up in our rental property or let her live with me. Wife is an amazing woman but damn. I’m at a place of no resolution. We leave for Jamaica tomorrow and I don’t even want to go now. We just finished arguing. She’s a fiery, well educated and well paid professional that can match me in these talks and sometimes do even better than match me. This will not end soon or well. I don’t wish this on anyone. "It's gon' be some slow singing -n- flower bringing............ if my burglar alarm starts ringing" | |||
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| Member |
Had a daughter live with us for four months after she filed for divorce. Stayed while her home was getting fixed up enuf to live in, after husband created 22K worth of damage, before he left the state. Keep 'em out...Get a new phone number. | |||
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Get Off My Lawn |
Close this thread and deal with it. It is now something beyond freeloaders living with you. Good luck. "I’m not going to read Time Magazine, I’m not going to read Newsweek, I’m not going to read any of these magazines; I mean, because they have too much to lose by printing the truth"- Bob Dylan, 1965 | |||
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| Member |
Sound advice my friend. I’ll check back in later, but I’ll let this conversation lay for awhile. Let’s keep it up for us to learn n grow as men. I’m at a loss for words. This is rare for me. I have the relationship that our friends and family ask about and often tell me they envy. It’s sad how easily the cards can crumble in such a short period of time and how fragile things are that we view as solid and forever in terms of being like minded and in lockstep. I know her intentions are good and she feels indebted to her dead sister but to what extreme? We’ll see???? I appreciate the support and advice from all of you guys. "It's gon' be some slow singing -n- flower bringing............ if my burglar alarm starts ringing" | |||
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| Member |
Yep. There it is sir. In big neon lights with “purple” outline. Do not give in. You’ll be paying for her entire life. Not your problem. Not your wife’s problem man. Best of luck sir. What am I doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone | |||
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A Grateful American |
FLKev Talk to your wife and agree to table this for now. Go to Jamaica Mon, and be Irie. tis' will be for the pickin' up and sortin' later, and maybe the understandin' be a'waitin' ya bote! (do not let outsiders fuck up your inside life, no matter what) "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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Member |
Its almost like your niece and nephew want you two to split up. Some messed up plan so they can live in the house with your wife and your moved out. I pray this doesnt happen. Maybe confront your niece and nephew and let them know how their choices are burdening your marriage. Whose paying for the phones they have? Let all Men know thee, but no man know thee thoroughly: Men freely ford that see the shallows. Benjamin Franklin | |||
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Firearms Enthusiast |
So how was Jamaica? Did you come home to find an un-welcome someone living in your home? Hoping you had a great vacation and returned to an empty home. | |||
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| No, not like Bill Clinton |
Let your wife read this thread if there is still difficulty | |||
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Member |
May I suggest a visit to your pastor (or similar)? My ex and I got into a YUGE fight one evening, full-on shouting in both directions. That's significant, because I'm not the shouting type. Regrettably, I imagine the neighbors could have heard this one. At some point, she said, "we need to see the pastor about this." I said, "fine, set it up." When we all met, it was a great opportunity for us each to air out our positions on the issue. And I had no problem saying, essentially, "this is my position, these are the reasons for it, and you will not change my mind." And I was able to show that I was not, in fact, incorrect. Good luck, sir. God bless America. | |||
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| Member |
Thanks for checking on me guys. Jamaica was perfect! We managed to leave this topic out of our trip entirely. We came back Tuesday evening and argued into Wednesday early in the am. We didn’t speak again until late Wednesday (yesterday) evening when I suggested she call her niece and nephews father and get his view on his daughter and son. She prefers not interacting with him at all. She called him and they spoke for over 3hrs. I was there for the talk too. Every word he said about his daughter using family n friends was damn near verbatim what I was trying to explain to my wife. The guy owns the entire condo Complex he stays in and he put his daughter out for very clear reasons. He made it crystal clear that it would be the biggest mistake she ever made if she kept pushing me to let her stay. The pain in his voice was clear. The man is no saint and has issues himself, but he gave the kids what he did have. Unfortunately, it was only money. He had no values, lessons, advice and work ethic to show. He has money and possessions that were ill acquired and the kids know how to be shady and want big returns from It. That’s about all they received. Unfortunately, it’s too late to reset them and start over. My wife FINALLY understood that her job as an Aunt is to Advise, encourage and support; but not to own someone’s life by doing everything for them now and until an unknown end date. We are once again aligned and I think it will hold up. She had to go through the process. I can’t imagine that type of guilty feeling over a sibling passing. Her sister was her best friend. We’ll help her neice once she is ready. I told my wife I’ll gladly walk with our neice and help but to remember we walk with her not vice versa. We can’t push her and pull her towards success the rest of our days, but we can assist her as she walks her own path. "It's gon' be some slow singing -n- flower bringing............ if my burglar alarm starts ringing" | |||
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| Member |
Man, I am SO happy for you! I don't know what else to say, really... just very happy you and your wife were able to re-align and keep your own household's peace.  God bless America. | |||
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