I am sick n tired of the same conversation over n over again...NO! No one is moving into our damn house. My wife's sister passed a couple years ago. The "kids" are 30 and 21 now. It's been non-stop talk of how they want out of Cali and we have 2 extra bedrooms and blah, blah, blah.

The now 30yr old son - I helped him get in the Navy - study for ASVAB, etc... he received $35k sign on too ---stayed 3yrs of 5 signed up for and QUIT. Never told me or the wife. He won't explain how he quit - I'm sure he has at the min a less than honorable discharge but could be dishonorable. He went back to San Diego and moved in with his girlfriend and her family again. He waited 2-3 months then said he was just mentally having a hard time, so he couldn't do it but he wanted to move to Florida and live with us. No skills, Navy-quitter, too good to work hard and work his way up - he doesn't know what he wants to do or be, but working while figuring it out isn't something he will do. Girlfriend and her family have had this guy in their home since he was 20.

The daughter has never had a job and is 21 now. ZERO skills puts it lightly. She can't drive, can't cook, clean or do a damn thing and also has a really bad attitude. Runs around with much older guys (35-40) and just loves the finer things in life. Only eats seafood and wears the nicest clothing, etc... She's now in the rotation of every 2 mos calling and trying to get my wife to agree to let her move in our home. Dad is still alive. He kicked her out, her other sister won't consider her moving in, her brother moved her in and she left the front door open to his place with his 2 babies under 3yrs old while she went out partying, so he kicked her out a week ago. My wife is paying for a hotel room and now grinding on me to let her come. NOT HAPPENING! I am about as flexible as anyone, but this isn't something that I'll let happen.

Thank God they have no clue we have a couple rental properties here.

I never got a hand-out from my parents. I did get advice, work ethic and had a great example of what a man/husband/father should be. I'll admit these kids did not get great example of that. I'm so freaking tired of the talk I have to keep having with my wife. These are NOT kids any longer. We will not take on the responsibility of someone else's life or lives. I'm sorry life is hard for them, but I know better than to allow them to move into my home and why in the hell would I let them take rental income away from us while we are trying to retire soon. Once you give someone something you damn near never get to take it back or change the terms. NO NO NO!

Hang in there man, if they ever get in, it will be like trying to evict a couple squatters to get them out. Probably even harder than that!

Don't blame you at all. The only chance they have of straitening out their lives is for people to stop enabling their bad behavior, and lack of responsibility.

quote:

Originally posted by FLKev:
I'm sorry life is hard for them,

Life is hard, it's harder when you're stupid.
Never let them in! Ever!

quote:

Originally posted by Schmelby:

quote:

Originally posted by FLKev:
I'm sorry life is hard for them,

Life is hard, it's harder when you're stupid.
Never let them in! Ever!

100% TRUE!

quote:

Originally posted by wcb6092:
Don't blame you at all. The only chance they have of straitening out their lives is for people to stop enabling their bad behavior, and lack of responsibility.

Agreed

quote:

Originally posted by stiab:
Hang in there man, if they ever get in, it will be like trying to evict a couple squatters to get them out. Probably even harder than that!

The one place a man should be at peace. I'm keeping mine

NO NO NO and HELL NO!

Sadly it wouldn’t help them in the slightest bit.

I know if it would help them you would do it in a heart beat.

We have a grandson that we let live with us for awhile. He is a user and abuser. He has used everyone on our side of the family. We are all nothing but POS because he isn’t allowed to stay in anyones home.

Yes, you are in the right. Give an inch and they will take a mile or worse.
Hopefully your wife will come around, but probably not.
If you have friends at least some of them have been conned into the same situation. And they may influence your wife. What it should do is convince her that those people are stupid and going to be taken advantage of and drug down the shitter from people/family that never figure out what a successful life is.
Fwiw, you have my full support. Don't give and inch. And of course you are a mean and unsympathetic sob.

Have been asked the same by a few family members. No way I am going to ruin my golden years by letting some moochers move in, they will find a place if you say no.

I’m sorry that your wife can’t see the obvious here. From what you describe I’d be surprised if she hasn’t already told them about the rental properties, so brace yourself.

This just sucks all the way round, because these kids are going to create a rift between the 2 of you.

Yes, enabling them won't help anyone, they need to make their own way

Hoping the Mrs. comes to her senses


My ex has 14 siblings and a crap load of nieces and nephews. They were always wanting to come and live with us, a fresh start they said. I gave the ex a few rules. No kids, they have to have their own car and they have to get a job and pay rent. No one came

quote:

Originally posted by old rugged cross:
And of course you are a mean and unsympathetic sob.

You described me to a tee! Now that I'm single, I'm fat and happy and they can wallow in their
own misery. My generosity ended.

That’s kinda crazy, as posted, expect little change if they moved in.

That behavior is just so foreign to me, 5 kids, raised by single Mom. You didn’t get nuffin unless you worked & bought it yourself. I think it’s better growing up that way, for the longer term.

My 2 boys in their 20’s, one military, other a great job in Utah. I tried my best to keep them on track growing up. That included helping but not extreme coddling.

Quitting the Navy isn’t a great way to start. After that, it’s always best to look for a job while you have a job.

Reloading Rooms - Sorry they are in use.

Are they mentally handicapped or otherwise disabled? If the answer is no, then they will figure things out if they get hungry or cold enough.

Hold your ground. You are in the right on this one.

quote:

I am sick n tired of the same conversation over n over again...NO! No one is moving into our damn house. My wife's sister passed a couple years ago. The "kids" are 30 and 21 now. It's been non-stop talk of how they want out of Cali and we have 2 extra bedrooms and blah, blah, blah

All I needed to read. Yeah, that would be a fucking hell NO with me, too.

Given their track records, tell them not only no, but hell no.

quote:

The now 30yr old son - I helped him get in the Navy - study for ASVAB, etc... he received $35k sign on too ---stayed 3yrs of 5 signed up for and QUIT.

How do these sign-on bonuses work? My guess is if the Navy paid this upfront, they'll be wanting it back. It would almost certainly be contingent on completing the agreed-upon enlistment.

Another hell no,went thru that shif with the first wife.