My favorite part was where the homeless dude apparently had posted his height, weight, and bench press max on Facebook.

Oh, and when, after finally getting away and finding that his phone was dead (again), the protagonist drove a block back to the crazy belligerent guy just to tell him that he was going to call the cops on him and he should leave. Solid tactics.


I give the story a 3/10. The writer showed some potential, doing an okay job of setting the scene and displaying decent prose at times, but the action scene was disjointed and less than believable, the main character's inner monologue seemed forced, the ending dragged, and it was lacking anything to keep the female readers engaged.

The next draft might benefit from a darker and stormier setting, tighter action choreography, a punchier climax, and the addition of a female sidekick or love interest.

quote:

Originally posted by Ryanp225:
Damn Gecko. I didn't know you got that old. Did you blade at a 45° angle?

No, no, no...

When you have rifle plates duct-taped to your chest and back, you don't want to blade away. You want to square up to the threat, in order to present the full face of the armor towards them.

(Clearly you weren't born to live by the gun mudderfuggin ersatz kubaton.)

OP should have put this story on the Lair. Or submitted it to Dear Abby.

quote:

Originally posted by RogB:
OP should have put this story on the Lair. Or submitted it to Dear Abby.

With a few tweaks, Penthouse Forum.

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
Something oddly familiar here…

Yep.

I'm impressed with the members here with great spidey senses.

Reading the OP on my own, I would have just let it be being close to indifferent.

It's always safer to communicate with miscreants via signal mirror. That way if you're bum-rushed you can blind them with it and signal for help from a Delta Force unit...

Catnip?

"I pulled it out discretely and got a death grip on it..."

"Despite my efforts at stealth, the bum noticed right away ..."

"My hand's on my knife, clipped to my pocket,..."

Uhh?


BENCHMADE 940 OSBORNE:

"Highly regarded as one of the most quintessential EDCs of all time, the 940 Osborne is slim, stylish, and can perform in just about any situation imaginable. The 940 features a satin plain reverse tanto blade with a green anodized aluminum handle. The manual opening blade contains strong CPM-S30V blade steel. Made in USA."

Slices and dices 6'6" 325 pound vagrants with a single swing!

And smoking is bad for your health

Balls of furry …

I’m thinking charging rhino-man could have easily been blinded with a signal mirror if you had time to work out the angles.

quote:

Originally posted by SIGnified:
Something oddly familiar here…

Or at least oddly something...

Who is going to play the OP in the straight to VHS movie of this story? Maybe Christian Bale is available. I heard he really gets into roles and transforms into character.

Christian Bale is too big… See me at least a Mark Wahlberg type or smaller. But HUGE balls.

Stories like this is why I don't go to the Farmer's Market without my own Bayraktar drone circling overhead.

https://youtu.be/CXVu_DeB4wo

Ok. I made that up but it's as likely true as the OP's story.

I'm always carrying so my version of that story might not have ended well. I'm about the OPs age and not as physically capable as I was 40 years ago.

+

Here's what the cops heard when they got there and talked to the other guy...

"I don't yell at people, I mind my own business and I work out. I'm 6'6 325 and bench 300. One of the joys in my drab life is stopping at the Farmer's Market, after working out and brushing my teeth and admire the interesting plants growing on the nearby raised train tracks. I sometimes do jumping jacks after working out, you know, to cool down from the workout.

Then some guy about 63 stops his 2006 truck right near me and lights up and blows SMOKE right at my face. I yell "CUT IT OUT." No, officer, sir, (laughing) I didn't say I'd cut him, I don't even have a knife. I said "Cut it out" referring to the smoke. Then I saw him flick his cigarette which is littering, is it not...... and then he left"

"If I see him again, I might ask why he called the cops, honestly I have no idea, since I did nothing wrong other then telling him to cut it out with the smoke....."

and so it goes... life in the city...

^^^ BRILLIANT!

You win the Internet for the day!

quote:

Originally posted by gearhounds:
I’m thinking charging rhino-man could have easily been blinded with a signal mirror if you had time to work out the angles.

At a minimum the F-16s would have smoked him.