I had to make the same decision last year when I replaced my 2006 Corolla.

I love the proven design and quality of the Japanese built 4 Runner but the gas mileage is terrible and you have to buy the Limited package to get the full time 4WD.

I liked the mileage on the Highlander as well as the front wheel drive based AWD as it is better for my climate as there is often combined dry pavement and slippery spots to contend with which I feel front wheel drive based vehicles handle best.

I picked up a new 2022 Highlander XLE with the V6 as I wanted nothing to do with the new 4 cylinder turbo in the 2023 models. I would have gotten the hybrid but there was a long wait list for them at the time.

Had I not already had a gas guzzling Tundra I probably would have went with the 4Runner but I have a decent commute. I do love the Highlander so far and it is been great in the snow.

I would get the 4Runner if I were you!

.

About 2-3 years ago we were looking to replace our Highlander. The kids and I liked a 2019 4Runner the Toyota dealership had. The wife(does 99.2% of the driving in it) thought it rode a little too rough and was just a hair too tall. I told her I would put nerf type bars on it. She the. Tried out a 2019 Highlander XLE and that was the end of that debate. I will admit it is a nice ride and totally reliable. Typical Toyota. Now she is eyeballing the Grand Highlander.