Sorry for your ordeal.

My MIL had "classic" dementia for several years; she started showing obvious symptoms when she lived with her oldest daughter. Eventually she went to assisted living, then to a nursing home with a specialized dementia wing. She passed way just shy of 92, mainly from congestive heart failure.

My dad was sharp mentally until a few weeks before his passing. He went in the hospital for a severe bronchial infection, which started to make him "loopy", then that was followed by a urinary tract infection / bladder infection / kidney infection. Infections can also cause dementia-like symptoms, regardless of age. Sadly, all of those successive infection just wore him down physically and he passed away at 85.

My mom is starting to get forgetful, but seems to be physically healthy. My sister and I are prepared to step in when needed, and my mom does have long-term care insurance.

quote:

Infections can also cause dementia-like symptoms

Medically, this is known as delirium: a short-term disruption of thought processes caused by an external issue. It can be pneumonia; a UTI is classic; low sodium; drug interactions; drug or alcohol withdrawal (delirium tremens the classic form).

BTW I keep coming to this thread looking for advice, since I am an aging parent myself.

quote:

Originally posted by ryan81986:
Also put any real property owned and possibly bank accounts in a trust. If you're hoping insurance/medicare will pay for an assisted living/nursing home, you need to deplete all of your assets first. If the assets are in a trust for a period of time before that happens, they can't come after it.

Why shouldn't the parents' assets be used to take care of the parents rather having the taxpayers foot the bill?

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I agree but the American way is to avoid taxes at all costs. You would put elder attorneys out of work.

My wife went through all that with her mother, and I went through that with my mother last year before she passed as well. I'm guessing part of the reason it's harder to deal with it these days is because people in general are living longer than in previous generations, but not without the natural consequences.

quote:

Originally posted by ryan81986:
If the assets are in a trust for a period of time before that happens, they can't come after it.

IIRC the Medicare look back is 5 years.

You fellows keep saying “Medicare”, but in discussions I’ve had with several estate planning attorneys, it’s MEDICAID that is used to pay for nursing homes, and the reason people put their property into trusts. And yes, there is a 5-year look-back period.

Sorry to hear that. My mom’s turning 90 in July and is in her third year in assisted living. We kept her LTC policy in effect in spite of her premiums increasing annually. Annual premiums were about what she receives in a month and almost covers her facility charges for the month. Hope that puts it in perspective. Policies like that really aren’t available any longer (I’m told).
I also encourage you to declutter your parents home while they are still living there. Good advice for us kids too. And yes, get finances declutterred as well. Consolidate all those accounts into one place if possible before they’re forgotten.
If you’re dealing with this currently, good luck and keep your memories intact.

We're dealing with this as well My father in law is 90 years old and suffers from dementia. He gave us a copy of his will several years ago, and told us that if he became incapacitated to go ahead and get the stuff out of his house.
Fast forward to this year, he took a bad fall and had a brain bleed, which landed him in intensive care and ultimately into an assisted living facility. He was showing dementia before the fall, but it's gotten so bad now that he doesn't know me or my brother in law.
He still recognizes his daughters, but can't remember who they're married to.
His finances are better than most people, since he can afford to self pay for assisted living without liquidating assets.
We wish we would have talked to him more though, his will and power of attorney have created some problems. He put one daughter in charge of his checking account and the other as the POA and healthcare POA. The one in charge of finances wants the cheapest option available, no matter how shitty the facility. She buys him thrift store clothes that don't fit well, or are way too long in the inseam. And she argues over every dime that is spent. The other daughter (my wife) isn't even allowed to see the financial statements, so we don't know how much money he has or how long it will last. Only thing we're told is "it's enough to not worry about."
Her dad wants everything split equally, but isn't aware enough to change anything if it needed to be changed. And the power of attorney he signed isn't worth much, since the attorney that drew it up didn't specify she has "Durable" power of attorney.
One thing about it, he had great taste in guns and musical instruments. He had a gun collection worth a pile of money. I've got his pistols at the house in my safe as long as he's alive in case my brother in law had other ideas about them.
The old man also had a couple pre-WWII Martin guitars that are worth a fortune, but those went to the other daughter.
Anyway, just my observations, get the whole family involved and don't keep anyone in the dark unless there is a reason to do so.