July 26, 2019, 11:57 AM
az478305407/26/19 Friday humor
▪ IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A "JOGGING" TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
▪ RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.
▪ I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD, I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
▪ WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AMERICA MOVE?
▪ WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL. WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL.
▪ BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.
▪ LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
▪ VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
▪ I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY"? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
▪ IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
▪ IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.
▪ MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.
▪ SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.
▪ WE OWE ILLEGALS NOTHING -- WE OWE OUR VETERANS EVERYTHING.
▪ CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.
▪ I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
▪ A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - - NOTHING.
Two choices, laugh as it was intended or complain about the cap lock. I copied and pasted and and not going to rewrite it.

July 26, 2019, 12:11 PM
Chris42Copied and shared. Thanks.
July 26, 2019, 12:15 PM
egregoreSome good meme material there.
July 26, 2019, 01:12 PM
gw3971quote:
▪ I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
NO SHIT!
July 26, 2019, 01:21 PM
Jim Shugartquote:
▪ VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
The only vegetable I really like is tobacco.
July 26, 2019, 02:13 PM
V-Tailquote:
The only vegetable I really like is tobacco.
Isn't bacon a vegetable?
July 26, 2019, 07:57 PM
Yellow JacketWell, I reckon that grass would be considered a vegetable.
Humans don't digest grass very well, but cows do.
Cows eat grass and convert it into beef.
Therefore, whenever I eat a steak, hamburger, etc. I am eating grass which has been converted into beef.
So, by eating beef I'm being a vegetarian.

July 26, 2019, 08:07 PM
Skins2881quote:
Originally posted by Yellow Jacket:
Well, I reckon that grass would be considered a vegetable.
Humans don't digest grass very well, but cows do.
Cows eat grass and convert it into beef.
Therefore, whenever I eat a steak, hamburger, etc. I am eating grass which has been converted into beef.
So, by eating beef I'm being a vegetarian.
Yep beef is just highly concentrated grass. You're a super vegitarian, congrats!