SIGforum
07/26/19 Friday humor

This topic can be found at:
https://sigforum.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/320601935/m/2540023954

July 26, 2019, 11:57 AM
az4783054
07/26/19 Friday humor
▪ IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A "JOGGING" TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.
▪ RESPECT YOUR ELDERS. THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET.
▪ I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD, I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.
▪ WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH? DID AMERICA MOVE?
▪ WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL. WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL.
▪ BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG.
▪ LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE.
▪ VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!
▪ I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY"? -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?"
▪ IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED.
▪ IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT.
▪ MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD.
▪ SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM.
▪ WE OWE ILLEGALS NOTHING -- WE OWE OUR VETERANS EVERYTHING.
▪ CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON.
▪ I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.
▪ A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - - NOTHING.

Two choices, laugh as it was intended or complain about the cap lock. I copied and pasted and and not going to rewrite it. Razz
July 26, 2019, 12:11 PM
Chris42
Copied and shared. Thanks.
July 26, 2019, 12:15 PM
egregore
Some good meme material there.
July 26, 2019, 01:12 PM
gw3971
quote:
▪ I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER.

NO SHIT!
July 26, 2019, 01:21 PM
Jim Shugart
quote:
▪ VEGETARIAN: ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES!

Big Grin
The only vegetable I really like is tobacco.



When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
July 26, 2019, 02:13 PM
V-Tail
quote:
The only vegetable I really like is tobacco.
Isn't bacon a vegetable?



הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
July 26, 2019, 07:57 PM
Yellow Jacket
Well, I reckon that grass would be considered a vegetable.

Humans don't digest grass very well, but cows do.

Cows eat grass and convert it into beef.

Therefore, whenever I eat a steak, hamburger, etc. I am eating grass which has been converted into beef.

So, by eating beef I'm being a vegetarian. Big Grin



God's mercy: NOT getting what we deserve!
God's grace: Getting what we DON'T deserve!

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal

Bob
P239 40 S&W
Endowment NRA
Viet Nam '69-'70
July 26, 2019, 08:07 PM
Skins2881
quote:
Originally posted by Yellow Jacket:
Well, I reckon that grass would be considered a vegetable.

Humans don't digest grass very well, but cows do.

Cows eat grass and convert it into beef.

Therefore, whenever I eat a steak, hamburger, etc. I am eating grass which has been converted into beef.

So, by eating beef I'm being a vegetarian. Big Grin


Yep beef is just highly concentrated grass. You're a super vegitarian, congrats!



Jesse

Sic Semper Tyrannis