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New Topic - Bad Puns and Groaners
July 23, 2019, 09:56 PM
vthokyNew Topic - Bad Puns and Groaners
quote:
Originally posted by LS1 GTO:
quote:
Originally posted by tatortodd:
I was addicted to the hokey pokey...
...but I turned myself around
Well, that is what it's all about.
God bless America. July 23, 2019, 10:05 PM
George43what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick.
A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
July 23, 2019, 10:16 PM
SpinZoneWhen you are cold, why should you go stand in a corner?
Because they are usually about 90 degrees.
“We truly live in a wondrous age of stupid.” - 83v45magna
"I think it's important that people understand free speech doesn't mean free from consequences societally or politically or culturally."
-Pranjit Kalita, founder and CIO of Birkoa Capital Management
July 23, 2019, 10:57 PM
RustybladeRun to the round house Nellie
He can't corner you there.
Do not necessarily attribute someone's nasty or inappropriate actions as intended when it may be explained by ignorance or stupidity.
July 24, 2019, 08:10 AM
tacfoleyWhat's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
July 24, 2019, 08:14 AM
tacfoleyIn view of my half-Irishness, I thought I'd post this one for yez -
There was a young man from Dun Laoghaire
Who propounded an interesting thaoghaire:
That the language of Erse
Has a shortage of verse
'Cos the spelling makes poets so waoghaire.
July 24, 2019, 09:49 AM
V-Tailquote:
Originally posted by George43:
I invented a new cocktail.
Vodka, Orange Juice and Milk of Magnesia.
I call it a Phillips Screwdriver.
Did you ever try vodka and prune juice? Pile driver.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים July 24, 2019, 10:16 AM
George43quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
quote:
Originally posted by George43:
I invented a new cocktail.
Vodka, Orange Juice and Milk of Magnesia.
I call it a Phillips Screwdriver.
Did you ever try vodka and prune juice? Pile driver.
No but I start my day with Prune juice and Tang
some times. Nothing like a little Prune Tang in the morning!
A gun in the hand is worth more than ten policemen on the phone.
The American Revolution was carried out by a group of gun toting religious zealots.
July 24, 2019, 10:19 AM
henryarnaud
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts." Sherlock Holmes July 24, 2019, 10:28 AM
EponymAnd the rope replies "I'm a frayed knot".
July 24, 2019, 10:57 AM
ScurvyA buddy laid this groaner on me yesterday...
Did you know that back in the 80s, the alphabet only had 22 letters?
Yeah. Cause ET went home and JR got shot...
July 24, 2019, 11:50 AM
Jim ShugartThere was a young lady from Norway
Who hung by her heels in the doorway.
She said to her man,
"Get off the divan,
I think I've discovered one more way".
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. - George Bernard Shaw
July 24, 2019, 05:32 PM
dlc444Went to a bar and the black guy next to me ordered a gin and watermelon juice.
Asked him what the drink was called.
He replied. It's an Uncle Tom Collins.
(remember from my childhood and a black comedian's record we had in the house)
-.---.----.. -.---.----.. -.---.----..
It seems to me that any law that is not enforced and can't be enforced weakens all other laws.
July 24, 2019, 11:36 PM
trapper189I'm sorry, I thought this was the Dad Puns thread.