quote:

Originally posted by amc:
Recruit spends the next 30 minutes marching outside the mess hall shouting "here pretty bird, be my friend pretty bird".
It was hard to eat listening to him and not burst out laughing.

You got 30 minutes to eat?

Hell, we were lucky to get 30 seconds.

Wasn't real funny but it'll be in my head until the day I die and I can still hear his voice.
"Recruit(last name), I'm coming out tonight while you're sleeping and fucking you up".
I didn't sleep that night.
There was a lot of funny stuff but it's kinda fuzzy now after 31 years.

Not particularly funny, but one that stuck with me over the last thirty-five years. I was in Band Company at Cape May (USCG), and the CC, MUC (Musician's Chief) Etheridge, was on leave the first couple of weeks of basic. The other cadre did their best to build up an image that he managed to fulfill. His first words to me were: "I'm big! I'm black! And I'm on the attack!"

Another time, I was by my locker after a shower when a female chief came into the barracks. My towel started to slip when I came to attention. She noticed and said loudly -- "go ahead and pull that up before I have to embarrass you by pointing out your tiny dick." I was seventeen and not used to being around older women who talked like that!

Mine looked just lime Jim Carey only taller and light hair. He looks to the left side of the room and addresses the females and says "the average American soldier is a poon hound"
Then addresses us males and says "privates, you're men. You don't cuddle, you hit it and quit it" then later on he hung his hat on the door handle to one of two exits then stood right in front of the other exit and started screaming for us to get the F out, and started counting down. We seriously had no damn clue what to do, until one of the guys who must have had the biggest pair I've ever seen just took that hat and launched it like frisbee clear across the room and booked it. That was in 2009 and I bet he is still feeling all those lunges he did.

quote:

Originally posted by limblessbiff:
Mine looked just lime Jim Carey only taller and light hair. He looks to the left side of the room and addresses the females and says "the average American soldier is a poon hound"
Then addresses us males and says "privates, you're men. You don't cuddle, you hit it and quit it" then later on he hung his hat on the door handle to one of two exits then stood right in front of the other exit and started screaming for us to get the F out, and started counting down. We seriously had no damn clue what to do, until one of the guys who must have had the biggest pair I've ever seen just took that hat and launched it like frisbee clear across the room and booked it. That was in 2009 and I bet he is still feeling all those lunges he did.

A great example of the difference of basic in the 60's and 2009. He would have been in a shallow grave back then. Well maybe not, but he would have thought that was preferable.

Jim

I had a habit of standing with my hands on my hips.

DS: "Is you a bitch private?!"

ME: "No, Drill Sergeant!"

DS: "Then why are you standin' like a bitch?"

ME" "Don't know Drill Sergeant!"

DS: "Do you want to F- me private?"

ME: "No Drill Sergeant!" (By now I have failed to keep from laughing...)

DS: "Something, something about a whole bunch of exercises"

I loved basic, it was fun. I went in hoping for, and expecting Full Metal Jacket...was disappointed. It really amused me how many recruits didn't understand it was all a game and took it personal.

Their job is to train you and stress you out to prepare you for combat. Whether you do everything perfect (not possible) or not, there will still be plenty of yelling and smoking to go around. Your job is to do what you are told, don't quit, and don't be a puss.

Army brat so for me basic was not so bad until my Dad (FORSCOM SGM) decided to come visit after he noticed the Training Battalion SGM was an old buddy.

Last 2 weeks were real funny for me. For some reason Drill instructors do not like when 2 Sergeant Majors show up unannounced.

The one I still use today with my kids.

"Gents! We're heading to chow and I need you to eat Duck!"

<meaning fast, duck in, and duck out>

We had landed at the airport in San Diego and were standing out front of the terminal waiting for the bus to take us to MCRD. Of course, the first thing they did was put us in a formation, at attention, while the Drill Instructors walked around making comments about cloths, hair cuts, facial hair, Mary Jane Rotten Crouch (girlfriends), mommy and daddy, etc.. One recruit allowed his eyes to follow the Drill Instructor as he walked by and the Drill Instructor quickly spun around, got 3" in front of his face and proceeded with the following:

Drill Instructor: What the fuck are you looking at you fucking puke? Are you eye fucking me?
Recruit: No sir.
Drill Instructor: Didn't I tell you "keep your eyes forward"? Didn't I tell you "do not look the fuck around"? Didn't I tell you "when at attention do not move one fucking muscle"? Answer me you worthless piece of shit?
Recruit: Yes sir.
Drill Instructor: Do you think you're fucking special; that the rules don't apply to you?
Recruit: No sir.
Drill Instructor (while still 3" from his face, moves his head slightly back and then forward quickly and brim chops the recruit with his Smokey right on the bridge of his nose, hard enough you could hear it 20 feet away and making his eyes water immediately) and says: We're gonna have some fun, you and me, unless you get your shit together - right fucking now. Because I can fucking guarantee you that I WILL have you fucking squared away in short fucking order. Is that understood?
Recruit: YES SIR
Then the Drill Instructor gives the recruit one more "love" tap with the brim of his hat before moving on.

The recruit got his shit together, ended up being one of the squad leaders and made PFC upon graduation.

Edited to add that this occurred at 2300 hours (11 pm) in 1968. No PC bullshit at that time and the area we were in had no civilians anywhere in sight or hearing distance that I could tell.

quote:

Originally posted by Gustofer:

quote:

Originally posted by amc:
Recruit spends the next 30 minutes marching outside the mess hall shouting "here pretty bird, be my friend pretty bird".
It was hard to eat listening to him and not burst out laughing.

You got 30 minutes to eat?

Hell, we were lucky to get 30 seconds.

They're Coast Guard - 20 minutes before each meal was learning [again] how to use silverware, 5 minutes for the table and chair, 3 minutes to get the fix and sit, 2 minutes to eat.


Oh wait, that was the Marines. I bet them two mixed up sometimes.

^
We were timed by the first recruit to sit down and eat, so if you were in the back of the line, you were screwed. It was not uncommon to pick things out of the trash while scrambling to get outside.

My favorite was our "drill" Drill Instructor. He was explaining marching was nothing more than walking, just making it pretty.

He said, "Somebody gives you a piece of shit, you think it's just a piece of shit. But they put a ribbon on that piece of shit, and you think it the prettiest piece of shit you've ever seen.".

My dad tells a story about AIT school in Fort Ord where he threw a lid of water out the window after shining his boots. A VERY pissed off DI came charging up the stairs looking for whatever shitbird that just shit on him.
He made dad climb a tree and every person that walked underneath, dad had to yell "I'm a shitbird!"

"I've got more games than Milton Bradley"

"Hurry up" said right it can make people fly.


My drill was seven feet tall and a cross between Samuel L Jackson and Danny Glover:
"I'm too old for this Sh#$, MotherF%^&er"
the man could call cadence.

One had a perfect Tony Montana voice:

"Ju soop sanwich Private, been wit bacon on rye."

One had a perfect deadpan voice:

"Do y'all want to end up sucking dick for beer money?"

A couple of my most memorable from Parris Island, 1966:

On our first Sunday morning there, the DI took a head count to see how many Protestants & how many Catholics.

He came up one short & immediately flew into a rage, wanting to know who the athiest was. One guy raised his hand & all four DI's decended on him. "SIR, private Greengold's, (yep, I remember his name to this day!), Jewish, SIR." The head DI got in his face & screamed, "I thought they cremated all you c---suckers!"

Later, while filing into our seats at our first Catholic service on PI, there was a DI standing on top of the altar screaming, "Get in those f---ing pews!"

My platoon DS was from Missisippi. He didn't like yankees, much less yankee jews. I was sent from the TMC to the hospital, and someone forgot to call my unit. When I got back around 1530 they were waiting for me, and brother were they pissed! They thought I had gome AWOL, broke out my file, and misdialed my home number. The owner of the chicken farm had no idea where I was.

So there I am, standing in front of MY DS as he carefully dials my HOR, and my dad answers. DS is pissed, but I'm not AWOL, and I gave them the the right number. DS starts asking questions:

DS "Where's your dad from?"
Me "Brooklyn"
DS "Is he's a jew?"
Me "Yes DS"
DS "Your mother from NY?"
Me "No DS. Mississippi"
DS "Why in the hell did a good southern woman go marrying a dam yankee jew?!"

The rest of the conversation went better.

A 4 foot 9 inch Filipino Chief Petty Officer "I'm going to chicken choke all you mother fuckers" sorry for the language, but those are exact words. He said them while holding one hand with choking grip.

Fort Jackson, SC. Late summer 1991

Drill Sergeant Bray, a thick, short nasty SSG and 82nd Airborne Grenada combat vet had just finished "smoking" us (someone had screwed up while marching) while unleashing his regular torrent of foul words in the platoon's direction when the female Battalion Chaplin walked by and made a comment about his language.

DS Bray turned bright red, said "yes ma'am", then when she was sufficiently far enough away resumed smoking us twice as hard and with even more F-bombs and other choice words.

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:

quote:

Originally posted by limblessbiff:
Mine looked just lime Jim Carey only taller and light hair. He looks to the left side of the room and addresses the females and says "the average American soldier is a poon hound"
Then addresses us males and says "privates, you're men. You don't cuddle, you hit it and quit it" then later on he hung his hat on the door handle to one of two exits then stood right in front of the other exit and started screaming for us to get the F out, and started counting down. We seriously had no damn clue what to do, until one of the guys who must have had the biggest pair I've ever seen just took that hat and launched it like frisbee clear across the room and booked it. That was in 2009 and I bet he is still feeling all those lunges he did.

A great example of the difference of basic in the 60's and 2009. He would have been in a shallow grave back then. Well maybe not, but he would have thought that was preferable.

Jim

Oh I'm sure there is a big damn difference. I was an MP and we had females in each platoon that slept in a separate barracks but were with us the whole day up until shower/bed time. It was a giant shit show. And from what I'm told it's even worse.. they don't even have to wear their battle rattle at the range anymore, just shooting gloves/glasses and ear plugs. A private fresh from training told me that right before I got out and the kids coming in these days are absolutely weak and disrespectful. When I came in I wouldn't dare shit talk a specialist, let alone an any NCO. But I saw a lot of it in my last year or so in. Basic training for me was honestly pretty easy, just mundane and tedious. I felt like I learned much more my first year in my unit than anything else

One thing I found interesting with our Drill Instructors is that, as in my previous post, profanity was just another noun, pronoun, verb, adjective, etc.. that they inserted in most every sentence. Very seldom did I hear the words "mother-fucker" but just about every other phrase associated with the words fuck, fucker, fucking or fucked was used freely and often inserted in the middle of a word or common phrase. Cock-sucker was another common phrase that got used with regularity.

Full Metal Jacket and Gunny Hartman did bring back another memory, although I can't recall the circumstances, when he said to a recruit "hell, you can come over and fuck my sister". I heard that a couple of times during my time at MCRD and still chuckle when I'm reminded of it.