My Aunt passed from cancer after a long fight a week ago and the funeral was yesterday. The pastor that officiated was quite elderly and the entire thing was odd. First he read most of her obituary in a very obvious and lame attempt to appear that he had spoken with the family. He then launched into what I can only describe as a 10 minute pop up ad for the church and how he would be our sole guide to really get to know the Lord because of course, none of us know the Lord as well as he does.

The creepy part came at the end of that when he went down this path about fathers and how not everyone has a loving caring father, "but there is always the Lord, he is and always will be your most caring father, so really, you should just think of him as Daddy, and you can even just call him Daddy. That's right, Daddy will always be there for you."

I was hoping that would be the end of that but he had to bring it up several more times in a grave side interpretation of the 23 psalm drawing parallels to how "a shepherd is a daddy to his sheep so the Lord again is your daddy... see what he did there?" and my personal favorite from this interpretation "your rod and your staff they comfort me... see, Daddy is there for you with his rod".

And of course, he had to drop 'Daddy' in for us one more time during the prayer before the luncheon.

I honestly could have gone without hearing that... ever. Especially at a family member funeral. Had it been a funeral for anyone but a family member, there would have been a lot of restraint required to keep my sense of humor in check. In this case I was more upset about it than anything, especially given the type of woman my Aunt was as she would not have appreciated it at all.

I feel for you. Just try to keep your aunt in the place in your heart where she has always been and wish the strange man into the cornfield.

Your aunt is the important one in your memory of this day.

God Speed

There’s nothing worse than going to a funeral officiated by a person who clearly never even knew the deceased.

My grandfather (to me) who was my stepmother’s father died and it was clear that the Catholic priest doing the funeral Mass had never really known him.

quote:

Originally posted by wishfull thinker:
I feel for you. Just try to keep your aunt in the place in your heart where she has always been and wish the strange man into the cornfield.

Your aunt is the important one in your memory of this day.

God Speed

Thanks... I was honestly angry more for my Uncle and Cousins. She was a very sweet and good soul who was always there for them no matter what. This has been a crushing loss for them and they deserved a service that was more comforting and reaffirming than what they received.

Yea, that is weird and I am sorry you and your family had to go through that.

Daddy and the Good Lord are not one in the same obviously. Bizarre he would come up with that one.

In time in remembrance of your Aunt at future family get togethers you all can have some fun with that I hope with your Aunt watching over you of course.

Curious how he was picked to do it.

quote:

Originally posted by PASig:
There’s nothing worse than going to a funeral officiated by a person who clearly never even knew the deceased.

My grandfather (to me) who was my stepmother’s father died and it was clear that the Catholic priest doing the funeral Mass had never really known him.

That's bad, but how about getting the groom's name wrong - twice - while officiating a wedding?

As for this clergyman and the "daddy" thing, I don't want to see his laptop history.

Yeah, that ain't right. I'd find a different church, because at some point some child exploitation task force is going to be coming along and kicking in that parsonage door.

I'm sorry your aunt's funeral went like that. It's always pretty depressing to me to go to a funeral where it's obvious the pastor had no relationship with deceased, or worse if they did and still just read some predetermined script out of the back of a hymnal. On the flip side, I've been to some deeply personal and inspiring funerals officiated by men who clearly knew and cared for the deceased and their family. I can't say I've ever been to one where the pastor let his creepy fetishes shine through, though. That's definitely a new one .

That is strange. If he was very elderly, possibly he is experiencing diminished capacity.

I am sorry your aunt's pastor was not available. It makes all the difference in the world when the pastor has a personal relationship with the deceased. When a pastor has to be located for a service, I assume the funeral director has a list of clergy willing to officiate and does the best they can.


.

When my Mother passed we obviously needed a Clergyman for the service . Mom had been Catholic all her life but had not been a Church goer for several years . We had a personal friend that was a Priest at an Episcopal Church .We asked him to do the service and he agreed if we would sit down with him so he could ask us about our Mom . For somebody that had never met her he did an outstanding job . Even her hardcore Catholic family approved of the service .

That was pretty creepy. That having been said, I’ve been to several funerals where the preacher basically read the obit, albeit with as much caring as could be demonstrated.
The creepiest one I ever went to was a neighbor across the street. Air Force navigator. Air Force Chaplain and a (Methodist?)minister after retirement. When he passed we went to the funeral.
His son, who was going to pastor school at the time, got up to speak and ended up turning it into an alter call for people to come up and accept Jesus as their savior. We thought it was whole inappropriate at the time.
Son is now a local politician and Baptist pastor.

Reminds me of a funeral I attended several years ago. A good friend’s father died and was not necessarily a religious man; had no church affiliation and family hired an outside pastor to officiate the service.

Pastor spent the better part of his sermon assuring us that the deceased was likely burning in hell for all of eternity and we should heed his ‘sacrifice’ as a warning to save our own souls before it was too late.

I’ll never forget that.

quote:

Originally posted by BOATTRASH1:

His son, who was going to pastor school at the time, got up to speak and ended up turning it into an alter call for people to come up and accept Jesus as their savior. We thought it was whole inappropriate at the time.
.

Same thing happened when my Dad passed . His nephew is a Baptist Minister and we really thought he would make it something special . It turned into a typical Sunday service with an Altar call . Very disappointing .

I had a similar experience when.my Mom passed away. We were lifelong members of the church and I knew the Pastor well. But I moved away 2 years earlier and hadnt seen the Pastor during that time.

When I got to the church the night before the funeral, the Pastor did not greet me with condolences nor talk about my Mother - she immediately started a conversation about the weather!

Yet another reason my wife and I have decided against any kind of funeral service .

One of the thing my Father did that made his passing easier was to talk with my Mother and identify who he wanted to do his funeral mass. He picked a local LE Chaplin, whom he had worked with and respected. Though I don't remember the exact details of the service, I do remeber it was done well.

Went to a funeral of a cousin. The 3rd time the minister got her name wrong, the family told him to get out.

quote:

Originally posted by Ronin1069:
Pastor spent the better part of his sermon assuring us that the deceased was likely burning in hell for all of eternity and we should heed his ‘sacrifice’ as a warning to save our own souls before it was too late.

I traveled 6 hours to be in a friend's wedding in PA. Methodist service. The minister included a lengthy fire and brimstone sermon about how all present were going to hell unless we repented our sins and led god fearing lives.

The Pastor at my father in laws services called him Herschel multiple times. His name was Lester.

Family thought it funny. I think he would have also.

The one who spoke at my grandmothers funeral ran on and on about her being a sinner and all that sort of thing. It DID NOT sit at all well with me as a teen but I was silent. I have never looked at that profession the same since then.

My wife's grandmother lived to be 102. If she had made it another 14 months, she would have had a footprint in each of three centuries.

She was very active in the church that she attended, and as she aged she became more assertive and more insistent that she knew "How Things Should Be Done."

At her funeral, it was obvious that the pastor knew her very well. His opening sentence was "Rhoda <pause> was a walking opinion." The gathering of relatives and acquaintances completely cracked up. The ceremony turned into a retelling of fond and funny memories.