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Widowers, do you still wear your wedding band?
September 04, 2024, 03:30 PM
Ironmike57Widowers, do you still wear your wedding band?
Gentlemen, for those of you that have lost your wife, do you continue to wear your wedding band?
Up until today, I swore that I would not remove mine until I am cremated. I want to honor her and our marriage by keeping it on my left hand.
Some people suggest moving it to the right hand.
My sister, who is a widow, told me to take the ring off if I want to date again. I do, because I cannot deal with the loneliness.
Another suggestion that came up is to wear a black band to indicate that I am a widower.
Your thoughts on this, please.
Thanks,
Mike
September 04, 2024, 03:40 PM
V-TailMike, I don't have the right words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
As far as the ring, I would say don't worry about any "rules" -- just do what feels right to you.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים September 04, 2024, 03:44 PM
Ironmike57Thanks, LR
I took your advice on the therapist. I am grateful.
quote:
Originally posted by V-Tail:
Mike, I don't have the right words to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.
As far as the ring, I would say don't worry about any "rules" -- just do what feels right to you.
September 04, 2024, 06:06 PM
rscalzoYes I do.
September 04, 2024, 07:14 PM
Skins2881I would probably have it made into something else, like a pendant or different style ring.
If you plan on dating in the future, your sister is right.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Jesse
Sic Semper Tyrannis September 04, 2024, 07:19 PM
spunk639You're sister may be right, would your wife want you alone and unhappy? God sometimes sends messages in strange ways.
September 04, 2024, 07:28 PM
preten2bI am truly sorry for your loss, I get it. You can wear it for as long as it helps you mourn.
In the small amount of the dating world I have seen, wearing it while you search is often taken as a sign that you are not ready to move on. Probably counterproductive.
------------------
The plural of anecdote is not data. -Frank Kotsonis
September 04, 2024, 07:46 PM
sonnydazequote:
Originally posted by Ironmike57:
wear a black band to indicate that I am a widower.
Mike
Many of us don't know the significance of a black band.
September 04, 2024, 07:47 PM
casIn the strange and confusing way that women work, I would think wearing your wedding ring would attract women.
As well as send the message that you are capable of commitment.
September 04, 2024, 07:57 PM
old rugged crossI lost my wedding band probably 25 years ago. Have not wore a ring of any sort since. Honestly do not think a thing would of changed since I lost it. Does not bother my wife at all. Fwiw
"Practice like you want to play in the game"
September 04, 2024, 08:09 PM
konata88I'm going to lean on the presumptuous side. I'm not a widower.
Married life is filled with many memories. That is what my wife and I value. We don't even take pictures (rarely at best). We wear wedding bands every day but it's not really something we consider important. If one of us were to die, the decision to wear the band or not wouldn't matter to either of us. Again, it's the memories we cherish and that doesn't change regardless of the band.
That being said, I would continue to wear the band every day. I would remove it only if/when I became committed to someone else. Anybody who would take issue before that is probably not someone with whom I'd want to be. Same is true of anybody who would avoid me if I'm wearing the band.
I would ignore everything else and just do what feels right to you. Whatever happens will be meant to be. Don't change who you are. It's what your wife loved about you. I believe that anybody worthwhile, band or not, will see it too.
This is my opinion.
"Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it." L.Tolstoy
"A government is just a body of people, usually, notably, ungoverned." Shepherd Book September 04, 2024, 08:13 PM
V-Tailquote:
Originally posted by konata88:
I would ignore everything else and just do what feels right to you. Whatever happens will be meant to be. Don't change who you are. It's what your wife loved about you. I believe that anybody worthwhile, band or not, will see it too.
Agreed, 100%
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים September 04, 2024, 08:33 PM
Ironmike57Your opinion means a lot to me. Thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by konata88:
I'm going to lean on the presumptuous side. I'm not a widower.
Married life is filled with many memories. That is what my wife and I value. We don't even take pictures (rarely at best). We wear wedding bands every day but it's not really something we consider important. If one of us were to die, the decision to wear the band or not wouldn't matter to either of us. Again, it's the memories we cherish and that doesn't change regardless of the band.
That being said, I would continue to wear the band every day. I would remove it only if/when I became committed to someone else. Anybody who would take issue before that is probably not someone with whom I'd want to be. Same is true of anybody who would avoid me if I'm wearing the band.
I would ignore everything else and just do what feels right to you. Whatever happens will be meant to be. Don't change who you are. It's what your wife loved about you. I believe that anybody worthwhile, band or not, will see it too.
This is my opinion.
September 04, 2024, 08:35 PM
Ironmike57I thought the same thing. Then my sister suggested it. Cops wear black tape over their badges.
quote:
Originally posted by sonnydaze:
quote:
Originally posted by Ironmike57:
wear a black band to indicate that I am a widower.
Mike
Many of us don't know the significance of a black band.
September 04, 2024, 08:36 PM
Ironmike57She would not. She was a sport, always the funniest person in the room.
quote:
Originally posted by spunk639:
Your sister may be right, would your wife want you alone and unhappy? God sometimes sends messages in strange ways.
September 04, 2024, 08:37 PM
Ironmike57Thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by Skins2881:
I would probably have it made into something else, like a pendant or different style ring.
If you plan on dating in the future, your sister is right.
I'm sorry for your loss.
September 04, 2024, 08:37 PM
9mmepiphanyquote:
Originally posted by konata88:
Anybody who would take issue before that is probably not someone with whom I'd want to be. Same is true of anybody who would avoid me if I'm wearing the band.
Women who see you while you are wearing a wedding band would assume that you are married, that would mean they believe that they are approaching a married man.
Women who are looking for a committed relationship would avoid approaching a man wearing a wedding band
No, Daoism isn't a religion
September 04, 2024, 08:38 PM
Ironmike57Thank you.
quote:
Originally posted by preten2b:
I am truly sorry for your loss, I get it. You can wear it for as long as it helps you mourn.
In the small amount of the dating world I have seen, wearing it while you search is often taken as a sign that you are not ready to move on. Probably counterproductive.
September 04, 2024, 08:45 PM
Ironmike57Yep. That already happened recently. I passed 3 women in a restaurant. One of them said “damn, he’s married.”
quote:
Originally posted by 9mmepiphany:
quote:
Originally posted by konata88:
Anybody who would take issue before that is probably not someone with whom I'd want to be. Same is true of anybody who would avoid me if I'm wearing the band.
Women who see you while you are wearing a wedding band would assume that you are married, that would mean they believe that they are approaching a married man.
Women who are looking for a committed relationship would avoid approaching a man wearing a wedding band
September 04, 2024, 08:47 PM
LucnikWear it if you want to. Any woman worth her salt would be impressed by such devotion this day and time. It’s a rare trait. Having said that, I have never worn a ring of any kind. Saw my grandfather loose his ring finger because of a wedding ring. I’ve always done construction work so rings were out.