I can offer nothing other than a prayer for him.

Thanks for the well-wishes and offers of help. I played phone tag with the arresting officer over the last few days and talked to two of the officers who processed him this morning. Got plenty of details. Three charges: DUI, reckless driving and unregistered vehicle. They asked me if he was on anything else, I told them weed for sure. He didn’t have any on him and he likes joints because you can toss them and it’s not a big loss, so I’m sure that’s what he did. They asked me if he had any neurological disorders. I asked why, and they explained that he had really bizarre mannerisms and movement. I explained that he might be experiencing hepatic encephalopathy and explained this to them.

I also spoke to my uncle, who I’ve been working in tandem with to try to get him into a rehab. He left his phone number and plea to have my father call him with his counselor in the prison. I don’t know if he had called or not yet, I need to follow up.

Upon further reflection, I sent some YouTube videos to my mother about wet brain and the symptoms, and she said that pretty well describes the way he has been behaving for about two years now.

In short, I don’t think he’s altogether long for this world, and I’m not sure what to do or how to feel about it. The last time I saw him in person, I was pleading with him to see a doctor because he looked, sounded, and smelled sickly. Not just drunk, but something much worse. He told me “I’m going to keep doing what I do until I can’t do it anymore, and then I’m going to pop off nice and easy (mimed pointing a pistol to his temple) and then you and [sister] can fight over my shit.” I was mortified. That was five, almost six years ago.

I’m contemplating calling up his counselor in the prison, and having her ask him to call me. Not to try to save him, but to tell him I forgive him, and goodbye.

I’m going to bed. PghPI, I got your email, and I will reply tomorrow. Thank you, truly. RyanP225, I’d like to talk with you, if you’re willing. Please shoot me an email if you would.

Thanks, folks.

Prayers for him to get right with the family and the Higher Power.

I had a cousin who was an alcoholic, though I had never known it until it was too late. She had a big job with a Beltway Bandit. She got a DUI and was pretty worried about losing her security clearance. She spent a few hours in jail and went on a bender when she got out. Then she got into an accident, hitting a police car. Back to jail, but the paperwork on the first DUI hadn't even been entered into the computer by then and she got out again after a few hours. Then she knew she was going to lose her clearance and her job and thus not be able to keep her big house (her husband had recently given up on her and moved out too). She committed suicide that night. Drunks need to stay in jail.

Smudge. Sent you a PM.

Citadel, I just checked my email and my spam folder and didn't see anything new.

Re sent email from my hotmail acct. let me know if/when you receive it.

quote:

Originally posted by Citadel:
Re sent email from my hotmail acct. let me know if/when you receive it.

Thank you, sir. I got it and replied.

*Edit- And thank you again. I know what I need to know now.

Thanks to all who replied or said a prayer. You're appreciated. I'm going hands-off on this one. Just going to let the chips fall.

Sorry to hear you are going through this.
Anyone that has had a similar experience can relate to the pain and sense of helplessness you are experiencing.

The jail will definitely know about his alcohol detoxing. I have seen extreme symptoms. Like eating your underwear and having a poop sandwich for desert. Some people are absolutely out of their damn mind when coming off alcohol. The nurses will all be very familiar with what to give him. They have a protocol.

I wrote a lot more, initially, but I clicked the wrong button and it got deleted.

I'm having a hard time making sense of the court documents, but it looks like he has a DUI/ARD hearing scheduled for 8/25. He showed up at the house yesterday and was drinking booze within an hour of his arrival.

My cowardly uncle deceived me. My father is not going to suffer any immediate repercussions for drunk driving and is, in fact, excited to be getting his truck back in about a week. My mother is apparently not ready to leave this situation. Baffling behavior from three adults in their mid-late sixties.

I'm done with it. I just hope he doesn't kill my mother before he kills himself, and that's more her decision than she's willing to accept. I got some very good advice from a forum member, and that was that sometimes the best thing to do is nothing at all. And that's what I'm going to do.

There's so much more to it than that, but in the end, it really can be that simple. I am not Luke Skywalker.

Prayers for you and your family.

flashguy

I would probably also take that course of action Smudge.

Good luck Sir. Sending prayers.

Yikes, what a mess.
Sorry you are dealing with this no win situation but I'm not so sure I could be done with this if he's already back to drinking, and soon to be driving too. I wouldn't feel sorry for the other enabling family members but to keep my own conscience clean, I'd have to make a call or two to the local authorities about the already drinking part. Surely that must be a condition of his release at this point.
If he were to kill some innocent(s) after getting his truck back, and that sounds like a real possibility, it would feel better to at least know that you had made the call.

Yeah, I had strongly debated calling up the local state trooper barracks and letting them know what the situation is. My mother brought up doing so on the phone last night and I flatly told her if she didn’t, I would. I want to give her the opportunity to do so before he gets his truck back. If she doesn’t, I will. I was so thoroughly disgusted last night when I posted that I didn’t mention it, but it is on the table.

In the bed of his pickup truck is a new battery for his fully loaded 2017 Camaro that he bought new in 2016 instead of coming to see his grandson (and was the final straw for me). He’s also excited to be driving that again. It’s the only one in town, and it’s candy blue, so he’ll be real easy to spot. It’s also unregistered.