A blonde heard that bathing in milk would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. 
When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons.
So he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note asking me to leave 25 gallons of milk. Did you mean 2.5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "No, I want 25 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath so I can
Look young and beautiful again.
"

The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?"

OK NOW THE ANSWER:



The blonde said, "No, just up to my tits. I can splash it on my eyes."

boo hiss

stolen

how do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?

there is white out on the screen

what do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?

artificial intelligence

Joke my ass. That's a true story!

My Dad had the best time telling blond jokes to my girlfriends growing up. Some of them were game, others were not.

He liked the ones that got mad the best.

TTWOP

The one that makes me laugh is about the blonde who goes to a stage show, where a ventriloquist is performing. The ventriloquist asks his dummy if he has heard any good jokes lately. The dummy then proceeds to rattle off three or four blonde jokes. The blonde in the audience jumps up and starts into a tirade about how demeaning and unfair these jokes are.
The ventriloquist is so startled, that he immediately begins apologizing profusely, whereupon the blonde yells, "You stay out of this. I'm talking to that little shit on your lap ! "

What do you call a blonde with a high IQ?

A golden retriever.

And now, a blond joke:

An Italian tourist asks a blond man why scuba divers always fall backwards off the boat.

The blond man explains, “If they fell forwards they’d still be in the boat.”

Was the Italian tourist in France?

this one's older than dirt but still makes me chuckle:

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

Or the one about the blonde, who gets stopped for speeding and has to undergo a
breathalizer test.....on second thought, never mind .

quote:

Originally posted by NK402:
Or the one about the blonde, who gets stopped for speeding and has to undergo a
breathalizer test.....on second thought, never mind .

Blow job humor not appreciated here?

A blind man walks into a bar, makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender. "Hey, You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair that you should know five things.

Number One. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

Number Two. The bouncer is a blonde girl.

Number Three. I'm a six-foot-tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

Number Four. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.

Number Five. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

She concludes by smugly asking, "Now think about it seriously, mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five fucking times."

A blonde is speeding in her sports car when she gets pulled over by a blonde, female police office. The officer asks the driver for her driver's license. The driver, unsure what a driver's license looks like, fumbles around her purse, hands the officer a Kleenex and asks, "Is this a driver's license?" Irritated, the office responds, "No dummy, a driver's license is a small rectangle that has your picture on it." The driver searches her purse again, pulls out a small mirror, sees her reflection and thinks she must have it. She hands the mirror to the officer who looks at it and immediately hands it back to her. "You're free to go" the officer tells the driver, "and if you would have told me you're a police officer too we could have saved a lot of time."

quote:

Originally posted by SigSauerP226:

quote:

Originally posted by NK402:
Or the one about the blonde, who gets stopped for speeding and has to undergo a
breathalizer test.....on second thought, never mind .

Blow job humor not appreciated here?

Didn't want to push my luck !

A blonde women goes in to a computer store and asks for curtains for her computer. The salesman asks why she wants curtains for her computer. She says " Hello, I've got Windows"2

A guy takes his Blonde girl friend to a football game. Her first football game.

They get seats very close to the 50 yard line and see the coin toss at start of the game.

So, after the game, on the way home, the guy asked his GF how she liked the game.

Blonde: "well, they flipped that quarter at the start of the game and all afternoon I heard players yell...get the quarterback".."Hello, it's only 25 cents".

Two blondes were vacationing in Rio.

They had separate dates one evening, and met for breakfast the next morning to compare notes.

"I had sex with two Brazilian guys," said one.

"Wow!" replied the other. "Uh, . . . how many zeroes are there in a Brazilian?"

There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was so mad that she turned her radio off.

A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a plowed field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and went up to the barbed wire fence.

She yelled, "It's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your ass!"