You get all creeped out until you realize he's answering a phone call using the bluetooth earbud/mike on the other side of his head.
"Physics is like politics. It puts real effort into fighting imaginary forces." --- Fortnine
|My other Sig|
is a Steyr.
Selling Liberty Mutual insurance?
I usually shout hey, "let's get some hookers again!" while they are talking.
Eeewwww, don't touch it!
Here, poke at it with this stick.
|Frangas non Flectes|
Reminds me of one I heard lately. It was told as if it actually happened, but who knows.
A guy flies into a city on business, and while in the airport waiting for his luggage, steps into the bathroom to do his business. He sits down, and proceeds.
A fellow goes into the next stall, and sits down and start doing his thing.
The businessman hears him say "Hi there... how are you doing?" He thinks it odd, but replies "I'm alright, I suppose." The guy in the next stall responds "What are you doing tonight?" Businessman finds it rude and kind of replies in a huffy tone "Not that it's any business of yours, but I'm going to a conference. Now will you please leave me alone? I'd prefer a little privacy."
The guy in the next stall asks "Do you want to come over to my hotel room tonight? I'm only in town for one night and then I've got to fly out in the morning."
The businessman has had enough and barks "NO, I don't want to come over to your hotel room you sick fuck, now LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The guy in the next stall says "I gotta call you back, there's some weirdo keeps talking to me."
I believe in the 25th amendment.
It could be worse
Set the controls for the heart of the Sun.
A great friend at work is going through some radiation/chemo for prostate issues. I happened to be "next door" to him a the urinals today. He mentioned something about "staining the porcelain" and laughed.
As we were at the sinks washing up he poked me, pointed at the urinals, and laughed. Sure enough! He painted that thing bright yellow/orange -- and it didn't wash off with a flush!
God bless America.
This guy is an absolute riot!
NRA Life Patron
|always with a hat or sunscreen|
I need a new keyboard!
"King Poo Chicken!"
Certifiable member of the gun toting, septuagenarian, bucket list workin', crazed retiree, bald is beautiful club!
USN (RET), COTEP #192
|Moving cash |
As long as he doesn’t start with “I have been trying to reach you about your car’s warranty…”
"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout" R.I.P. R.A.H.
Ooga Chakka Hooga Hooga Ooga Chakka Hooga Hooga
NRA Basic Rifle Instructor
Red Cross First Aid/CPR/AED Adult/Child/Infant Instructor
Red Cross Wilderness First Aid Instructor
Where's that British bathroom skit?
I learned to never to speak with any female on the phone in the squad room. Inevitably, someone would loudly say... Hey! Did your rash clear up? Or, does it still hurt when you pee?
End of Earth: 2 Miles
Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles
"Yidn, shreibt un fershreibt"
"The Nazis entered this war under the rather childish delusion that they were going to bomb everyone else, and nobody was going to bomb them. At Rotterdam, London, Warsaw and half a hundred other places, they put their rather naive theory into operation. They sowed the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind."
Always getting compliments on my watch at the urinal.... Thanks Dave Truong!!
Any cocktail can be a shrimp cocktail if you put your mind to it, and if you carry lots of loose shrimp in your pocket.
הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים
Do what my buddy Ryan does when people talk to him at the urinal, show em' what you're packin and politely ask "Do you think I need to see the doctor about this"?
A guy at work had gone to the bathroom and returned to the meeting we were having . He said while standing at the urinal one of the new Drafters came in and stood next to him . Our co worker said that he made some comment about the weather or some such and the new guy started yelling at him . Said it was poor manners to talk to somebody while at the urinals . Our buddy was just blown away by his reaction . He said " I thought I was being polite and this little MF'er lost his shit on me ."
Keep your stream going and turn towards him like your sooo interested in what he's saying!
Originally posted by Psychobastard:
Well, we "gave them democracy"... not unlike giving a monkey a loaded gun.
|I Deal In Lead|
Just turn to him and say "damn, that water's cold...deep too."
|Powered by Social Strata||Page 1 2|