Recent trip to Denver and we rented a car from Budget through Costco Travel. The car received was a Mitsubishi Outlander, quite possibly the biggest POS that I've ever driven. I got a survey from them asking me to rate my experience so I told them...

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The check-in process was painful; a long line with very slow movement. Once checked-in we were assigned our car and directed to its location at a parking spot outside. There was no car matching the description of what we were assigned in that spot or any of the adjacent spots. We re-entered the office and had another long wait for an available agent to assign us a car again. We had reserved a Mazda CX50 but instead received a Mitsubishi Outlander. I realize that this falls under your disclaimer of, "Or similar" but to use that phase in reference to the steaming pile of equine excrement we were assigned is an insult to the King's English.

Overall comfort was on par with a medieval Iron Maiden. Ergonomics were as resistant to human touch as my ex-wife. Acceleration was measured in days not seconds, my sphincter is still dilated from the enema I received in the form of a long nose Peterbilt as we attempted to climb the Eisenhower Tunnel approach on I-70.

Even the simplest of tasks such as engaging reverse with the gear selector required more effort than inserting the key in a dead bolt lock on a Friday night while falling down blind ass drunk. The required acts of applying pressure to an unseen button while applying just the right amount of forward thrust to illicit a response made me feel as though the gear selector was designed by a female engineer who complains than men can't find her G-spot.

Mitsubishi, manufacturer of the Japanese Zero fighter from WWII. Most of which can be found as part of a coral reef at the bottom of the Pacific having been downed by the superior engineering of the American P-38 Lightning and F-6 Hellcat fighters. It seems in the intervening 80 years since, Mitsubishi has not improved their engineering efforts. After this experience I have a greater appreciation of the Kamikaze ethos; I too would rather die in a fiery crash than spend any time more than necessary inside of a Mitsubishi product.

A most excellent rant!

That definitely fits the description of an epic review.

What was Budget's response?

And this is why I typically rent with National whenever possible.

We rented a full sized SUV in LA. Had the choice of a base model Tahoe or a loaded Jeep Wagoneer.

I drove one 9 years ago on a road trip. The single worse vehicle I've ever driven, and I like econoboxes.
The seating/pedal position was horrific, like I was reaching under a desk with my feet, but with the lower dash in a way. The throttle was an on/off switch, and the steering was "Dart left" or "dart right". You couldn't cruise in the thing.

Lots of people seem to like Mitsubishi but they are a budget brand so don't expect much.

Last time I was in NOLA, Budget cursed me with an Outlander. It is a true POS, akin to a poorly engineered Japanese beer can.

You sir, are the unparalleled 'Jedi Master' of rants, and without equal anywhere rants are ranted...Period

Great review

It's been 12 years, but my one and only Mitsubishi rental car experience still pisses me off. I've shared this a few times over the years.

I grew up in the Upper Midwest, lived in AK 5 years, have driven ice roads in the arctic circle, and lived in Can-eh-duh for 2 years. In that time I have owned front wheel drive cars, rear wheel drive trucks, and four-wheel-drive trucks. I used to travel quite a bit on business so I have rented all of the above plus all wheel drive cars & SUVs in the winter.

The above is a preface to my assertion that not all AWD systems are equal. For example, the 2014 Mitsubishi Outlander AWD system is poor. When I first moved to Calgary, I had a rental car for about 6 weeks and it was winter. On a day that was -20C, I had to go to customs to sign for my furniture that had finally arrived from AK. The roads were icy and the Mitsubishi was steering like a front wheel drive vehicle. While going around the corner I begin to slide so I corrected for a front wheel drive vehicle and then the all wheel drive system decided to shift nearly all of the power to the rear wheels which completely fucked my steering correction. The ass end of the vehicle slid out and the aluminum wheel banged off the curb. When I stopped to inspect it I noticed that the wheel had cracked. Fortunately I was in visible sight of the Calgary airport so I returned it for a new rental car (definitely not a Mitsubishi Outlander) but I had to pay $800 for the damaged wheel. In all of my years of driving in the winter this is the only time I have ever damaged a vehicle and IMO the blame falls on the poorly engineered AWD system. If an AWD is going to shift power from front to rear when it detects a slide then it also needs to detect steering input so it doesn't make steering correction worse.