I know parents have struggled with their teenagers since back in The Garden, but since this is the "Pitch your Bitch" forum...

My 16 year old daughter knows everything and I am just dumb.

I try to offer guidance, but she doesn't listen. It hurts when you see kids learning things the hard way. She's failing Algebra and every attempt by me to help turns into a fight.

Anyway,
Thanks for letting me vent.

That's a perfect description of me when I was that age. The Army from 18-21 slapped that attitude right out of me. There's hope.

Jim

My oldest is only 11, but I'm right there with you, some days.

quote:

Originally posted by Jimbo54:
That's a perfect description of me when I was that age. The Army from 18-21 slapped that attitude right out of me. There's hope.

Jim

Biggest regret of my life is not serving. I have been a support contractor for DoD for over 20 years. I now see the path to success: Military retirement, Civil Service retirement, and then contractor. Tripple dipping and rolling in cash.

It seems like the hard part is finding out exactly what the problem is. That can be like pulling teeth for some kids.

Any idea what is going on? Maybe she doesn't mesh well with the teaching style. Maybe she is missing some fundamentals or has some base technique wrong. Maybe she needs glasses.

See what I mean?

quote:

Originally posted by flesheatingvirus:
It seems like the hard part is finding out exactly what the problem is. That can be like pulling teeth for some kids.

Any idea what is going on? Maybe she doesn't mesh well with the teaching style. Maybe she is missing some fundamentals or has some base technique wrong. Maybe she needs glasses.

See what I mean?

I know the problem: This is her second teacher for the same class. Teacher A stroked out and was replaced with teacher B. Teacher B is also the girls wrestling coach and he doesn't assign homework. I try to get her to work some problems from my old college algebra book, but that's where the fighting begins. I signed her up for tutoring, so maybe that will help.

I was one of those too from 15 to 19. Most trouble I got into was traffic tickets and a curfew violation that got myself and maybe four or five friends a ride in the back seat of a police car to the city limits with the admonishment “now go home!”

At 19, two years as a Senior in HS and still short of credits to graduate I realized that I had to clean up my act. Living in a rented upper flat I found a part time job after school that was my foot in the door of what became 47 years in the business. Got my HS diploma a year later in night school.

The light usually comes on, some sooner that later.

This may be dumb. But perhaps you could both solve her homework independently, showing your work and the method and logic used to reach your result. When she gets stuck, she can refer to your work. No teaching, no guidance. Just a hands off reference.

This has helped me in the past. Ymmv.

Reducing teenage rebellion in my parents home:
At about age 13, my old man told me to clean up the yard and then mow the grass. I told him that I was no longer going to do that and from that point on, he should cease telling me what to do. My error in judgement became very clear to me when the old mans facial expression became terrifying and he picked up an expedient weapon in the form of a broom stick. Making a hasty exit now seemed to be a good idea! He pursued and I ended up underneath my bed. The old man then used the broom stick to probe under the bed, impaling my body multiple times. When he got tired of doing this, he looked under the bed and stated "I am your father, I will always tell you what to do"! My mother witnessed this and approved of my fathers handling of the situation.
With my own son, I was hyper aware of signs of teenage rebellion and tried to deal with before it became out of control. No broom stick was needed. My kids main form of teenage aggravation was becoming a master of telling us exactly what we wanted to hear while doing something totally different. Getting my son through HS with his head on straight was one of the hardest jobs I have ever done.

quote:

Originally posted by P250UA5:
My oldest is only 11, but I'm right there with you, some days.

Mine will turn 9 next week and he's been this way his whole life. I'm dreading the teen years.

It took my daughter until she was in her 30s to finally admit to me "Dad, remember all those things you told us? You were right."

I have no kids, but this sounds like a friend's kids to a T. They know all and we know nothing or less than. Hopefully they grow out of it as they get older.
I also agree a tutor of same sex that is a couple years older could be beneficial. Might be easier for her to connect than you find it. Seems worth the attempt anyway.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: wolfe 21,

Hire a tutor that is female and a grade or two above.

Ah yes, the joys of parenthood.

I always enjoy listening to it.

My husband butts heads with my 10 y.o. regularly over math homework. Tons of memes on the internet about how we could “have a nice family night tonight or help with math homework”. You are not alone. Don’t despair- I think another poster who mentioned a same sex tutor a grade or 2 older is a good idea.

quote:

Originally posted by xd45man:
I know the problem: This is her second teacher for the same class. Teacher A stroked out and was replaced with teacher B. Teacher B is also the girls wrestling coach and he doesn't assign homework. I try to get her to work some problems from my old college algebra book, but that's where the fighting begins.

If you had lead with this, you might be getting a whole different set of responses...or I might be completely off-track.

It isn't that she "knows everything", it is that you are telling her that her teacher is wrong...a teacher who she has built trust with as a coach. Of course you're "old fashion", after all, you're asking her to work problems out of your "old algebra book"

You are, in essence, asking her to betray her trust in her coach. How could you think it wouldn't turn into a fight?

quote:

I signed her up for tutoring, so maybe that will help.

It might, because it would be an impartial party

I should disclose that I raised two kids, a son and a daughter, and never had problems like described here.

With my son, I was the stable one compared to his mother who didn't really "reason," but just went with her "feelings." Things got better when I got full custody when he got into high school.

With my daughter, her mother was the "tiger mom" and I was the understanding one who fought for her against the school system trying to bully her because she was the "quiet" one

Oh, you have one of those too?
Only difference is, sons think they're smarter and tougher...
16 and a 13.

Job description for teenager: Be difficult. Push the boundaries.

quote:

Originally posted by P220 Smudge:

quote:

Originally posted by P250UA5:
My oldest is only 11, but I'm right there with you, some days.

Mine will turn 9 next week and he's been this way his whole life. I'm dreading the teen years.

Luckily, the rough days are far outnumbered by the good days.

A quote attributed to Mark Twain:

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”