You know, I live vicariously through my friends. That being said, I have been divorced 5 times out of 4 friends that I think of as brothers. 1 has never been divorced, 2 have been twice and the other 1 once. And I have never been married.
At first it wasn't for the lack of trying, but damn the interview process was from hell. But it worked great. I out lasted their ability to hold back the batshit craziness that they tried so hard to reign in until the deed was done. I seem to have the patience of Job. After that it was purely from the lack of wanting to. Who the fuck in their right mind would put themselves through that once, let alone twice (just my opinion from my point of view).
But you know what, I like who I am and don't feel like I need to change it. I am very comfortable with just hanging out with me, myself and I. Does not bother me one bit. I have freedom to do, say and buy what I want. Drop of the hat I can pick up and go wherever I want, as long as the dog is good with it. I don't worry about losing half of what I have worked so damn hard to build. My friends kids are like my own, but I can turn them back over to their parents and get the "F" out if I feel the need.
But I know if you try and it does not work, it is not pleasant to go through. Hang in there and whatever you decide to make happen, will.This message has been edited. Last edited by: sig226fan,
It's all about clean living. Just do the right thing, and karma will help with the rest.
February 05, 2021, 06:06 PM
nhracecraft
quote:
Originally posted by rainman64: I am paying off all my credit cards, and will start making changes in the house.
It's a shame that the house was not mine before it was "ours".
Dude, it's a REALLY good time to sell a house! Maybe you can find something that really fits YOU, and at the same time opens up new possibilities and opportunities for change in your life. It will also exchange all the constant reminders of the past for a new drive to create a style/lifestyle that really reflects rainman64's passions! You don't necessarily need to upgrade as much as potentially change your environment, and it'll definitely take your mind off of your previous life w/ your ex. Unless you really love the house, I'd give it some serious consideration if I were in your position.
That's said, as much as breakups suck, YOUR future is bright, so focus on you REALLY like, and live YOUR life. Hang in there...I will get better!
If Some is Good, and More is Better.....then Too Much, is Just Enough !! Trump 2024....Save America! "May Almighty God bless the United States of America" - parabellum 7/26/20 Live Free or Die!
February 05, 2021, 06:07 PM
Hobbs
quote:
Being single sucks
No ... no it doesn't ... at all, whatsoever even a little bit If you're lonely when alone, you're in bad company
February 05, 2021, 07:18 PM
SpinZone
Sell the house. Ride the ducati.
The best part about being at a low point is that all the paths lead upwards.
“We truly live in a wondrous age of stupid.” - 83v45magna
"I think it's important that people understand free speech doesn't mean free from consequences societally or politically or culturally." -Pranjit Kalita, founder and CIO of Birkoa Capital Management
February 05, 2021, 09:38 PM
mod29
Wow, there's some great advice here.This message has been edited. Last edited by: mod29,
February 06, 2021, 01:14 AM
Plugugly
quote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks: Been divorced since 2008 from my first and only marriage.
The solitude I so feared in my youth is absolutely delicious in my maturity.
What he said. I've now been divorced longer than I was married. Take your time, don't do a rebound relationship.
February 06, 2021, 04:17 AM
IndianaMike
Been here also. There is some very good advise in this thread. Go Real slow one day at time is the way i handled it .
February 06, 2021, 05:24 AM
L90814
quote:
Originally posted by sig226fan: You know, I live vicariously through my friends. That being said, I have been divorced 5 times out of 4 friends that I think of as brothers. 1 has never been divorced, 2 have been twice and the other 1 once. And I have never been married.
At first it wasn't for the lack of trying, but damn the interview process was from hell. But it worked great. I out lasted their ability to hold back the batshit craziness that they tried so hard to reign in until the deed was done. I seem to have the patience of Job. After that it was purely from the lack of wanting to. Who the fuck in their right mind would put themselves through that once, let alone twice (just my opinion from my point of view).
But you know what, I like who I am and don't feel like I need to change it. I am very comfortable with just hanging out with me, myself and I. Does not bother me one bit. I have freedom to do, say and buy what I want. Drop of the hat I can pick up and go wherever I want, as long as the dog is good with it. I don't worry about losing half of what I have worked so damn hard to build. My friends kids are like my own, but I can turn them back over to their parents and get the "F" out if I feel the need.
But I know if you try and it does not work, it is not pleasant to go through. Hang in there and whatever you decide to make happen, will.
^^^^^
Having been through divorce once, I feel this is 100% the way to go. It's a great feeling once you get over the initial heartache and get yourself re-established in life.
February 06, 2021, 06:41 AM
joatmonv
quote:
Originally posted by Mars_Attacks: Been divorced since 2008 from my first and only marriage.
The solitude I so feared in my youth is absolutely delicious in my maturity.
2011, first and only marriage and that second sentence is gold. It will suck for a while. You may meet someone later on down the road also. If you stay single, it's really not bad and the freedom is intoxicating. Just remember to find something to do. A new hobby, a new endeavor at work, whatever. Do multiple hobbies. No one can tell you what to do with your time now. It's all yours.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
February 06, 2021, 06:53 AM
chongosuerte
I was a miserable sonofabitch during my first marriage. Anything was better than that.
Took a long time to recover financially. People would tell me to find a hobby, but my hobby was working OT so I’d have food to eat. Would have lost my house if two work friends hadn’t moved in. Some long nights missing my kids too.
But there was never any doubt I was doing the right thing.
It’s been 7.5 years since I started mine. Could have never imagined I’d be where I am now back then (in a positive way).
People from this forum helped me through every step. Will always be grateful.
Best advice I can give is to focus on yourself and push forward one day at a time. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it, it seemed to be going so slow initially. But once the ball got rolling it clearly changed my life.
“Smooth seas never made a good sailor.”
Knowing what one is talking about is widely admired but not strictly required here.
Although sometimes distracting, there is often a certain entertainment value to this easy standard. -JALLEN
"All I need is a WAR ON DRUGS reference and I got myself a police thread BINGO." -jljones
February 06, 2021, 07:50 AM
Lord Vaalic
Sorry man. The immediate future will be hard but you will overcome and come out happier.
Drop me an invite on Xbox or something if you want to mow down some enemies and take your mind off it all
As was said don't stop what you love, get on the bike, even just to ride a mile down the road to get some lunch or something. Go put some rounds downrange. Do something you enjoy and you may just lose yourself even for few minutes. Have a match with your friends online. Could even be just getting dinner somewhere you like. Be selfish for a while.
Don't weep for the stupid, or you will be crying all day
February 06, 2021, 09:23 AM
Jimbo Jones
Rainman...dont get lost in the past.
I wallowed for months trying to figure out how things got to where they did...
My sister gave me a real spiritual walloping and pointed out that I was so stuck on trying to figure out how and why things happened that it was interfering with my ability to deal with the fact that they had actually happened. Incredibly useful, and really started me moving on.
quote:
Originally posted by rainman64: I lost 52 pounds. A month ago, I got a personal trainer. Might as well take advantage of the loss. My two dogs are very aware of my emotional state and stick close to me when I am low.
I want to ride my Ducati, but my head is not on straight, and that doesn't make for a good time.
Soon, I hope.
I am paying off all my credit cards, and will start making changes in the house.
It's a shame that the house was not mine before it was "ours".
Hard to shake the memories... I suffer from the could of's, should of's. Can't stop beating myself up. I feel like I failed...
--------------------------------------- It's like my brain's a tree and you're those little cookie elves.
February 06, 2021, 09:16 PM
safespot
Many years ago at work I was cutting a large piece of cardboard to make a box for shipping something. The result was a crooked, off-target mess. One of my co-workers had been watching and offered the following advice...
Keep your eyes on where you're going, instead of where you are. He said it applies not only to cutting cardboard, but to most things in life.
I will never forget his advice.
February 06, 2021, 09:58 PM
mr kablammo
Never quit.
"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye". The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, pilot and author, lost on mission, July 1944, Med Theatre.
February 07, 2021, 09:49 AM
Lefty Sig
Divorced 7 years now after 20 years of marriage.
I thought I would settle down again after a couple of years, and for the first couple years you try to find the "right" person for that. But now, it's not that big a deal. I've been working at home for almost a year and I pass the time building AR's, modifying pistols and rifles, and now a couple semi-auto shotguns. No one says I can't. And due to scarcity now sometimes you just have to buy stuff on the spot. And it's just me and my 17 year old son in the house (I have him half time), and we watch movies we like, and eat food we like.
I've had several girlfriends since my divorce, and reached the higher levels of the hot/crazy matrix, but the older I get the less inclined I am to tolerate any bullshit, so I call it on its face without hesitation. The maturity level of women in general has taken a nosedive in the past decade or two, and it's doesn't seem to get better as they age.
February 07, 2021, 09:58 AM
Ryanp225
At fist it does suck. Then you start to enjoy having total freedom. I stock my house with food I like, buy guns or motorcycles whenever I want, watch whatever I like on TV, and figured out how easy it is to casually date hot chicks 10+ years younger than me.
February 07, 2021, 08:14 PM
jimb888
Hang in there Rainman, it WILL get better even it doesn't seem so now.
February 08, 2021, 02:42 PM
rainman64
Strange thing happened today. I walked past a mirror, wearing only jeans, on the way out of a room. Flicked off the light.
A step out the door, I turned around, flicked on the light, and looked again.
Holy crap! I am 50 lbs lighter, have a waist, and starting a v-shaped chest.
This is probably the first time I liked what I saw in the mirror, in years.
Only one month with a trainer and I look like this? Where will I be in three months?
She left me with a broken heart, but left me looking better....
Small victories.
___________________ "He who is without oil, shall throw the first rod" Compressions 9.5:1
February 08, 2021, 08:16 PM
jhe888
Sorry.
The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything.
February 08, 2021, 09:10 PM
GWbiker
quote:
The maturity level of women in general has taken a nosedive in the past decade or two, and it's doesn't seem to get better as they age.
Ding.
********* "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them".
