I am officially divorced.
Done and done.

Regardless of it all, I still love her.

I know the pain shall pass.
But, time is a bitch.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: rainman64,

It does suck. The whole situation. Sucks more if kids are involved.

But it does change as you get more time between you and the event. If you need someone to vent to, shoot me an email.
I’ve been there.

I got divorced in 1981. In looking back on it, it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Give it some time.

Divorce sucks. And being single may seem like it sucks at first.

But being single doesn't actually suck.

Give yourself time to grieve and process. Wait a while before jumping into another relationship. Work on yourself, whatever that may mean (thinking about/planning for what you want in the future, improving your health/fitness, shedding baggage or negative influences, firming up your finances, exploring new hobbies, making new friends, getting a pet, etc.).

Been divorced since 2008 from my first and only marriage.


The solitude I so feared in my youth is absolutely delicious in my maturity.

It only sucks for a while, then it doesn't suck, then maybe later it might suck again, but by the time it does suck again, you're ready to move on and not be single. Ride it out.

What they said. It sucks now. Give it just a bit of time. It will get better. Lots better. Getting out of an unhappy marriage is a blessing that only time will allow you to appreciate.

Don’t do anything stupid though in the meantime. Or permanent. That means kids, live ins, marriage, etc.

Get back in touch with family and friends. Remember that you are loved. (Too much, was that too much? Lol). (It’s true though your family and friends will be there for you)

Divorced 3X and happy. I get along with my Exes fine now. My cat loves me, though. If its any consolation, no one starts out in marriage to divorce later. I read a study a while back that said men suffer more emotionally during divorce then women do. I think that might be true. Good luck and be good to yourself!

I’m single – never married. I like my life style. YMMV.

If anything ever happens to this wife , I'll never marry again . No reason for it .

I'm approaching 3 years now being divorced after 9 years of marriage. As best as you can, try and take it one day at a time. Look for the good things in your life, rather than focusing on what was lost.

Sure, there will be moments of sadness, however, your new found freedom bring with it other opportunities as well. One of those may very well be a woman that truly makes your heart sing, and you her in return. Until then, use this time to get your head straight and get stabilized.

In part, I've used my time as a single man to grow in ways I never could have had I been married. Mostly, in my relationship with God.

I also got back into motorcycles at the prompting of a couple of friends. It was one of the best things ever. It got me out of the house and gave me yet another way to go do something and clear my head. Sitting at home staring at walls is no good when you are a single dude.

Things will get better.

Really sorry Rainman.

Been there done that. Painful, but you will get through it.

Embrace the suck. Things happen for a reason.

quote:

Originally posted by rainman64:
I am officially divorced.
Done and done.

Regardless of it all, I still love her.

I know the pain shall pass.
But, time is a bitch.

Divorced in 2013 after 17 years of marriage.

You take it one day at a time.

I lost 52 pounds.
A month ago, I got a personal trainer.
Might as well take advantage of the loss.
My two dogs are very aware of my emotional state and stick close to me when I am low.

I want to ride my Ducati, but my head is not on straight, and that doesn't make for a good time.

Soon, I hope.

I am paying off all my credit cards, and will start making changes in the house.

It's a shame that the house was not mine before it was "ours".

Hard to shake the memories...
I suffer from the could of's, should of's.
Can't stop beating myself up.
I feel like I failed...

like many things, it only really hurts the first time

I enjoy being single, never been married, as a single guy I can do whatever I want, buy what I want, when I want, go wherever I want, when I want. December 2019 I decided I needed to get away so loaded up my motorcycle and took off for Tucson. Got tired of my 2018 R1200GS so decided to buy a 2020 R1250GSA, when I wanted a fast bike I added a 200HP Kawasaki H2SXSE to the fleet. No asking permission, no trying to sneak anything into the safe or garage. It is lonely at times but for me the freedom I have is worth it. One day I would hope to meet the right woman but until that day I enjoy the freedom of being single.

quote:

Originally posted by rainman64:
I lost 52 pounds.
A month ago, I got a personal trainer.
Might as well take advantage of the loss.
My two dogs are very aware of my emotional state and stick close to me when I am low.

I want to ride my Ducati, but my head is not on straight, and that doesn't make for a good time.

Soon, I hope.

I am paying off all my credit cards, and will start making changes in the house.

It's a shame that the house was not mine before it was "ours".

Hard to shake the memories...
I suffer from the could of's, should of's.
Can't stop beating myself up.
I feel like I failed...

Don't beat yourself up with what if's, that's a dangerous road to be on and doesn't lead to anything positive. My last break-up I felt the same way about riding my BMW K12S but I rode anyway and soon found out I was having a great time so throw a leg over that Ducati and get some throttle therapy. With time the hurt feelings will pass, don't concentrate and focus all your energy on the one thing you don't have. Instead focus all your attention and energy on the many thing that are positive in your life that you do have. You'll find in time you're better off without her and unfortunately some things are not meant to be.

I know it's really hard to heal from being married for a while and it takes time. There are NO what if's or should've dones.....that ship has sailed and you did the best you could at the time......don't beat yourself up over spilt milk.......just focus on your personal life, your hobbies, and dating........

BUT, being single is great if you embrace it. Get yourself on Bumble or Tinder and start dating. Look at it as going out for fun (friend) and if one sticks then continue dating. You'll meet a lot of interesting women.....some will end up being friends, some one night wonders, some nothing at all, and eventually you'll find one that sticks........ But being able to sleep when you want, eat when you want, leave your underwear on the kitchen floor if you feel like it, doing what you want when you want is a great thing. That combine with a long term GF where each lives in their own houses is a great thing.

I'm married now and in some ways it's nice, there are other ways where it takes a lot of getting used to and a lot of sacrifice.......money can fix a lot of things marriage used to.....hire a maid (for example) to clean once a week......etc. etc.......

quote:

Originally posted by rainman64:
I lost 52 pounds.
A month ago, I got a personal trainer.
Might as well take advantage of the loss.
My two dogs are very aware of my emotional state and stick close to me when I am low.

I want to ride my Ducati, but my head is not on straight, and that doesn't make for a good time.

Soon, I hope.

I am paying off all my credit cards, and will start making changes in the house.

It's a shame that the house was not mine before it was "ours".

Hard to shake the memories...
I suffer from the could of's, should of's.
Can't stop beating myself up.
I feel like I failed...

Its sucks bad but try your best to move on. Hook up with some young poon tang from Badoo and Tinder. lol You are doing a damn good job losing that weight. Don't blame yourself, reinvent yourself go out and have a good time. Make more memories with another squeeze and friends.

Yes, being Single sucks. Being married or tied down to the wrong woman sucks more. I've BTDT.

Get moving, OP. Travel if you can. Ride a motorcycle if you can.

Just don't rebound into another unhappy marriage.