We do the reverse of how you & your wife do it, but for the same reason. I have the account in my name & list her as an authorized user. That way I can pay the bill as often & early as I wish. We don't ever have any issues with surprises because I normally look at all accounts daily for precautions related to fraudsters. Works for us.

We’ve kept our finances separate until this. It works for me. It was a nightmare in my previous marriage with our finances together. Constant stress. She pays the bills and I just give her my share.

Our finances are separate also, except for this charge account.

I bet you don't have too many lines of credit...

The points drop MAY have been partly due to the new card reducing the average age of your lines of credit.

For almost 20 years I had a home equity line of credit that never got used for at least the last 10 years of that time.

When I checked my score they stated it was "virtually as high as mathematically possible".

When I let the home equity line of credit expire it cut my average age of my lines credit to less than half and my score dropped down into the 8 hundreds.

Perhaps just get back off the card?

Credit scores are a backdoor way of control. Employers are using it as a pass fail system for hiring, insurance charges more if you have a lower score (so we kept ours long term and negotiate coverage) and the banks are now trying to work up a social online score to add to it as a way of vetting those who are malleable to social pressure. Will a $50 donation get your account closed and locked?

Our score has been in the 500's for years - because we don't use much credit. We were negotiating a bridge loan to finance a home purchase and the banker told me "you are practically unAmerican with your money management." We were debt free at the time, and once the house closing occurred, remained debt free, and 20 years later, are still debt free.

Yeah, we're kinda Amish about it. On the other hand I talk with those living in McMansionville, some over 65, still in debt and how their children are going to pay it all off never pops up in the conversation. I've been an executor in family property, I learned a lot and we won't be a problem for them to solve.

How the banks assess your vulnerability to credit control over your life is how it should be approached. Good riddance as far as I am concerned.

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:
We are 100% in agreement on financial life. Only difference is she pays balance in full when statement arrives and I pay as I go so my statement always has zero balance. Like I go on Amazon, spend $50 and then immediately go onto my credit card site and pay $50. This is just for the points. She would rather not worry about payments until the full statement and make 1 payment.

I also prefer your method. I go get groceries on my Southwest card and immediately pay it off over the Chase app when I get home (sometimes in the parking lot). It seems to hurt less than paying a much larger bill once a month.

My wife and I share the majority of our finances; both of our paychecks get deposited into a joint account. I get a small portion split off into my own personal account each pay period for "whatever-the-hell-I-want" money. Any larger purchases or other financial decisions get discussed prior to pulling the trigger. No issues for over a decade.

First off, getting aligned on financial matters BEFORE getting married is very important because disagreements over finances are a primary cause of conflicts in a marriage and divorce. I’m not saying you will get divorced but it’s important enough to get alignment.

Second, you paying off your CC balance before it shows up on your credit report may have worked against you because all of a sudden, you have a $7k balance when it looks like you haven’t been using your credit.

I’ve had an 850 score on a paid Experian account (which was free to me). As long as I kept my credit utilization below 3%, I kept the 850 score. Granted, $7k and 850 score would mean you need a total credit line over$200k so that’s not realistic. But as the balance carried goes below 3% then your credit score will recover.

Keeping and maintaining a high credit score isn’t the goal in and of itself. Keeping and maintaining a high credit score is to enable you to access credit at preferred interest rates instead of usury rates when you do need the credit. You don’t fret when you jump in the car and you see the fuel gauge drop below full, do you? You understand it has to go down because you’re using fuel to get to where you want. If you see it hit below some milestone like half-way, then you start thinking about filling back up again.

But, seriously, get some marriage counseling that includes finances. It will be the best investment you’ll make in your marriage. We even used to go to marriage seminars as a vacation.

Not sure if it's mentioned, but you should utilize less than 30% of your credit limit on each card, going above that can ding your score.

I've got these "30% maximum limits" listed for each card in each of our digital wallets as a reminder when choosing a card upon which to put something.

quote:

Originally posted by Flash-LB:

quote:

Originally posted by ChuckFinley:
Consider that credit score is an artificial "I love debt and access to accumulating it" score by which vendors try to figure out to whom to hustle their wares.

Really? I made my last car payment in January of 1979. I made my last house payment in 1994.

I paid cash for my house and cash for all vehicles I buy. I don't carry any balances on Credit Cards, but use them for cash back and pay them off in full every month.

In other words, I don't have any debt and haven't had any for around 28 years.

So how come my credit score is 830 if I love debt and don't have any?

It’s not a debt score card it’s a scorecard of how often you like using credit while paying for it timely.

As to the OP it’s not really going to hurt you in any way because it’s way over rated as long as you’re over a certain threshold.

I’m am with the OP in that I would be more pissed about the lack of respect because she was told ahead of time not to do it and ignored him.

quote:

I’m am with the OP in that I would be more pissed about the lack of respect because she was told ahead of time not to do it and ignored him.

Meh pissed? no, she's gifted access to her credit, other than a few points on a digital scorecard, which, as many agree actually may go up, I don't see where it's a deal that requires a priest, intervention, marriage counseling and drawing up financial agreement papers.

Now if she'd taken his card and dropped a $7K charge that they had not discussed, yes, but since he and she agreed to put a vacation on the card, and she's wanting him to use it to buy things they share, probably so she doesn't have to zelle him money every time he goes to Home Depot, well, it's in the long run probably a good idea.


I get the why and the history that drives the reasoning for the original rant, but in the bigger picture, this isn't someone taking advantage of his finances.

If anything, she gave him a gift and permission to hers, and if it's bothersome, then discuss it along, but in a way, she's telling you she trusts you.

JMO..

Yeah I don’t think Rey read the entire thread. Marriage counseling? Really?

Okay I can sum up what happened and a tiny tiny flaw my wife has. Her flaw is trying to be too nice. I said no to her when she offered the card but I didn’t apparently articulate why. She thought basically this, “Gee Jim doesn’t want to use my money because he is being nice. But I’m gonna just give him the card anyway so he doesn’t need to worry about it.” No harm intended. I just took it badly.

We still pay off all balances each month. We don’t need credit at all. We are now paying double on our mortgage. Gotta retire soon.

quote:

Okay I can sum up what happened and a tiny tiny flaw my wife has. Her flaw is trying to be too nice.

World could use a large dose of that flaw, she sounds like a great partner...

I don't know your wife, but I would guess this is her way of tying your lives closer. Just me but I see it as a way of bonding. Of course I could be wrong, I am divorced.

Since she pays it in full each month and this is just a quirk in the way you pay, I wouldn’t sweat it. If she ran an unpaid balance with interest, that would be a different story.
Since it really doesn’t matter from a practical standpoint, your credit is still in the top range, and she isn’t spending above her means, take a deep breath and exhale.
Most people would love to have a wife that made a lot more money than themselves and didn’t overspend.
Sounds like you are putting some of the memories of your previous marriage onto the new wife. Bad idea.

quote:

Originally posted by 220-9er:
Since she pays it in full each month and this is just a quirk in the way you pay, I wouldn’t sweat it. If she ran an unpaid balance with interest, that would be a different story.
Since it really doesn’t matter from a practical standpoint, your credit is still in the top range, and she isn’t spending above her means, take a deep breath and exhale.
Most people would love to have a wife that made a lot more money than themselves and didn’t overspend.
Sounds like you are putting some of the memories of your previous marriage onto the new wife. Bad idea.

Great point. It’s hard to get over ex from hell. My wife now is awesome. I don’t deserve her.

We all have exes from hell.

And All my exes live in Texas.....LOL

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:
Yeah I don’t think Rey read the entire thread. Marriage counseling? Really?

.

Yes, really. You seem to have the misunderstanding, as most people do, that marriage counseling is only for marriages that are on the rocks; forgetting that it’s the peak performance athletes that take advantage of the services of performance coaches.

And I do credit the pre-marriage counseling my wife and I received 35 years ago for giving us a good foundation in helping us in the various areas of marriage including fighting and finances just to name two.

And through the years, we’ve periodically gone on couples’ weekend seminars just like you would maintain your car via oil changes and tune-ups.

You don’t have to follow my advice but I’m responding for the sake of others for whom my advice may prove useful.

quote:

Originally posted by Rey HRH:

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:
Yeah I don’t think Rey read the entire thread. Marriage counseling? Really?

.

Yes, really. You seem to have the misunderstanding, as most people do, that marriage counseling is only for marriages that are on the rocks; forgetting that it’s the peak performance athletes that take advantage of the services of performance coaches.

And I do credit the pre-marriage counseling my wife and I received 35 years ago for giving us a good foundation in helping us in the various areas of marriage including fighting and finances just to name two.

And through the years, we’ve periodically gone on couples’ weekend seminars just like you would maintain your car via oil changes and tune-ups.

You don’t have to follow my advice but I’m responding for the sake of others for whom my advice may prove useful.

What issue do you think we need counseling for? That’s what I’m not understanding.

quote:

Originally posted by frayedends:

What issue do you think we need counseling for? That’s what I’m not understanding.

Since you asked, my first indication you could benefit from marriage counseling is your very first sentence of your post: “ This is probably the first time I’m really upset about something in my new marriage.” The reason I say this is an indication that marriage counseling may help you is that one of the things covered in my pre-marriage counseling 35 years ago is how to fight and resolve conflicts inside the marriage. The very first step we learned in how to resolve conflicts inside the marriage is to keep it in the marriage and not to take it outside the marriage.

The second indication marriage counseling may be able to help you is knowing you were married before. I’m certain you didn’t enter into that previous marriage with the intention of divorce. If you’re not understanding how marriage counseling can help you now, I’m thinking you didn’t have much marriage counseling in your previous marriage.

The third, and most important, indication marriage counseling may help you is that this marriage isn’t your first marriage. Part of that marriage counseling I keep referring to covered the statistics and higher probabilities of marriages involving a previously divorced partner to end up in divorce also.

How many gun courses have you been enrolled in? I don’t think you’d question an advice for you to take a gun course especially from someone who’s gone through the course, right? I’m saying I’ve taken a course on how to be married / engage in a gunfight 35 years ago and I’ve periodically taken maintenance courses over the years and it has helped me be successful in maintaining my one and only marriage to date.

I guess I don't necessarily disagree with your points. I just don't think this issue was quite as big as I made it. It pissed me off but we did talk it out and I get why she did it and she gets why I was upset.

I'm not a fan of counselors in general and don't see myself going to one. We have a unique marriage and I can tell you that it is worlds away from my first marriage. My first marriage was on the rocks from day 1 and if there were no kids involved I'd have left that marriage many years before I did.

As far as bringing the issue here, you all aren't real people. Your my virtual friends. I can vent about the smallest stuff here.

I do appreciate your advice and I will keep it in mind as things go on.