I understand that schools have to have dress codes and enforce them to a degree but the sheer idiocy of what I had to deal with at my daughter's HS goes beyond absurd...I will try to be brief:

My daughter, who is very conservative in her attire, wore a nice dress that (gasp) exposed about 4 square inches of bare back...she called me extremely upset because of the way she was spoken to, singled out and given an ultimatum. I droipped everyhtign And headed over to the school.

Here's the best part - Upon arrival I school official holds the door for me and he has a polo shirt on with the school logo and the back reads, in huge yellow letters; "Go Hard, Go Fast, Go Deep"...I snapped a quick pic. First person we meet with is the assistant principal, an known douche of the highest order who berates my daughter and tells me she is suspended if she doesn't change or cover up. My response is a simple NO which seems to confuse this guy because apparently he deals with moms that wont talk back. I ask to the the Principal involved who arrives looking a little sheepish. I calmly state my cause to the Principal and explain that I get why they need a dress code but point out that half the girls in the school are wearing skin tight yoga pants and there was a boy walking around a week before shirtless during school hours...they argue...I produce pic of staff member with polo shirt and am met with priceless looks. They start backpedaling telling me that I dont understand the meaning of the shirt and its a "sports" thing so I inform these colossal idiots that not only did I play sports but I am also in the advertising business and I know exactly what their intention was and that fucking with me any further would mean district an d possible media involvement.

After 45 minutes of this BS they "asked" me if my daughter would not wear that dress again without a sweater over it to which I agreed because their code does state no bare backs but I told them I expected them to use their brains when picking their battles and made them apologize to her for wasting her time, keeping her form class and pissing me off.

Good for you!

Nicely handled

I would be interested to know if either of these two have had complaints abou their conduct towards young ladies.

Sounds good enough.

Shows you what can happen with rules. Someone games them. Then bias is to make them more specific. They get to be so specific that implementation becomes a nonsense and dependent on the stupidity of the implementors.

quote:

Originally posted by DSgrouse:
I would be interested to know if either of these two have had complaints abou their conduct towards young ladies.

Yes, they have had complaints and to make things worse, the Principal also hired his ne'er do well son to do nothing more than (what appears) to ride around campus in a golf cart and leer at teen girls . THis will be a subject of a future post because my daughter said this guy (in his 20's) has befriended a lot of student on social media and there is rumor of him buying weed in campus.

The school itself is really good academically but between incompetent leadership and BS politics they look like idiots on a daily basis.

Was she actually breaking the school's dress code?

quote:

Originally posted by Kevmo:...
The school itself is really good academically but between incompetent leadership and BS politics they look like idiots on a daily basis.

Crux.

The purpose is to provide an enviornment for learning.

And you are to be commended for steping in and dealing the disruptive elements to that and.

You win the internet today.

Thank you.

Today, you are no longer Kevmo.

Today...I declare you Uncle Buck!

Bravo

quote:

Originally posted by mod29:
Was she actually breaking the school's dress code?

I'm fairly sure the answer is yes, but it's ok because she was only breaking it a little bit, the people in charge are douches, all the other kids break the rules as well, and the rules are stupid.

quote:

Originally posted by trapper189:

quote:

Originally posted by mod29:
Was she actually breaking the school's dress code?

I'm fairly sure the answer is yes...

That's how it seems to me as well. If she's breaking the rule, then she's in the wrong, even if the rule is silly and she's only breaking it "a little." The school treating her poorly or trying to embarrass her is not acceptable.

The school official's shirt with the double entendre is irrelevant--unless it was backless or there's a rule about suggestive print on shirts.

Edited to add: FWIW, I'm female and went to a high school with a strict dress code--I sympathize with the OP's daughter. It sucks when the dress code means you can't wear a cute new dress.

That's it. ^

But hey, he won. So...

My sons school knows myself and my ex well....in middle school a teacher said something inappropriate and hurt to my middle son, I called the principal.....he did not return my call so I called the chairman of the PA senate education committee. The Principal called me the next day and the teacher apologized.

Last year same son flipped off a teacher....ok punish him, then I heard what the teacher had said to him ( independent sources), my ex walked in and had a conversation with the superintendent......sudddenly no punishment, I called the principlal and suggested my son should be punished....after the teacher apologized and my son apologized to the teacher.

Interesting how schools differ.
Today was the last day of school here I saw a kid walking out of the local High School wearing a tshirt that said "I Eat Ass"

quote:

Originally posted by Black92LX:
Interesting how schools differ.
Today was the last day of school here I saw a kid walking out of the local High School wearing a tshirt that said "I Eat Ass"

Maybe they're into Chinese Food?

quote:

Originally posted by 46and2:

quote:

Originally posted by Black92LX:
Interesting how schools differ.
Today was the last day of school here I saw a kid walking out of the local High School wearing a tshirt that said "I Eat Ass"

Maybe they're into Chinese Food?

Hahahaha.... but I agree, if there are rules then it shouldn't matter if you only broke them "a little bit" breaking them is breaking them. At the same time they should apply to everybody and if they aren't following & enforcing all of the rules (which is sounds like they aren't) then none of the rules deserve to be followed...

quote:

Originally posted by cheesegrits:

quote:

Originally posted by trapper189:

quote:

Originally posted by mod29:
Was she actually breaking the school's dress code?

I'm fairly sure the answer is yes...

That's how it seems to me as well. If she's breaking the rule, then she's in the wrong, even if the rule is silly and she's only breaking it "a little." The school treating her poorly or trying to embarrass her is not acceptable.

The school official's shirt with the double entendre is irrelevant--unless it was backless or there's a rule about suggestive print on shirts.

Edited to add: FWIW, I'm female and went to a high school with a strict dress code--I sympathize with the OP's daughter. It sucks when the dress code means you can't wear a cute new dress.

If the school enforced the backless rule uniformly, then Kevmo doesn't have much ground to stand on, but I'm guessing if a boy can get away walking around shirtless on campus, then the dress code rules there are inconsistently and selectively enforced. If enforcement is inconsistent, then that essentially leaves dress code infractions open to argument.

I don't know what "skin tight yoga pants" had to do w/ anything, unless there's a rule against them too.

I remember the type of school administrators Kevmo described. They are used to everyone rolling over and kowtowing to them. They can leave black marks in your permanent record, remember? I went to a safe, suburban HS where the administrators couldn't find enough real problems to address, so they liked looking for petty crap to crack down on. Kevmo's daughter's HS sounds similar. Bravo to Kevmo for standing up to the principal. I'd post the 'slow clap' GIF if I knew how.

The proper way for the principal to handle the situation would have been to tell the girl, "The exposed part of your back technically violates school dress code. Next time, layer something over that area or don't wear that dress to school."

Threatening suspension and calling the parents over it are the kind of actions of someone who gets high off his power trips. Wasting 45 min arguing over something that should have been handled in less than one min w/ a warning is a total power play dick move.

It's like the cop who pulls you over for speeding 5 mph over the limit. He can spend a few minutes giving you a warning, or he can detain you for 45 min looking for other things to write you up on.

quote:

Originally posted by trapper189:

quote:

Originally posted by mod29:
Was she actually breaking the school's dress code?

I'm fairly sure the answer is yes, but it's ok because she was only breaking it a little bit, the people in charge are douches, all the other kids break the rules as well, and the rules are stupid.

And the award for the super snarky and overly pissy replay goes to Trapper who has won the right to STFU unless he knows what he is talking about.

To clarify: The rules on "exposed skin" are very vague and up to staff discretion. I assure you, if she was breaking a rule she would not ave worn that to school and she had worn it on numerous occasions. Additionally the rules clearly state that clothing with vulgar or suggestive language is not allowed, hence my point on the polo shirt.

I am the first person who will call their own kids out for not doing the right thing but also the same parent who will not blindly tell his kids to respect adults when they act like idiots and are on power trips

Then why isn't she going to wear it to school again?

Your daughter knows she has a dad who isn't likely to back down, so she has been emboldened to stretch rules, knowing that the likelihood of her being punished is lower than all the rest of the kids with pushover moms.

But it's the admins fault they didn't know who her dad was, right?

quote:

Originally posted by SigMaverick:
Then why isn't she going to wear it to school again?

Your daughter knows she has a dad who isn't likely to back down, so she has been emboldened to stretch rules, knowing that the likelihood of her being punished is lower than all the rest of the kids with pushover moms.

But it's the admins fault they didn't know who her dad was, right?

Jesus Effing Christ...please read my replay above before you start getting pissy with me!!!

And to answer your question, the reason she isn't wearing it to school again is two fold:

1) The code does have a language about bare backs and midriffs but is very vague and that was their way of saving face but asking her not to wear it again.

2) My daughter is an A student, active on campus and does a ton of volunteer work however she has been diagnosed with severe anxiety and is subject to panic attacks. 2 years ago she had to be home schooled because she was unable to leave the house at times. She has worked her ass off in therapy and by pushing her comfort level to the point where she has been in 2 school plays, a dance recital and volunteers at Planned Parenthood every Sunday. As a rule we try to avoid things whenever possible that could trigger and attack and getting needlessly bitched at by a self righteous blowhard falls into that category.

To those who get it and support me I thank you and for those who feel the need to leave pissy comments I ask you read all my posts before you start judging me