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Originally posted by jimmy123x:

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Originally posted by modestglock26:

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Originally posted by F12517:
so what are you gonna do if/when she decides to quit the second job rather than allow you to reduce your child support?

She won't simply because she's trying to get in at the new hospital closer to home.

Honestly, I'm going to keep paying full pop and not change a thing. She can work both and live however she wants. My daughter and I have an amazing time together and I'm not going to file papers that cost me $1k + to save $40. It's all for the pleasure of making her aware that I know she is a POS.

She let me know that either way in August she is quitting one of them, so it wouldn't matter long term anyways. On top of that, she's planning to quit work altogether to homeschool and live the dream.

So now that I've put her through college, she has the lake house and the new Audi, she can finally kick back and live the good life.

You know, there's other things to think about it. Provided your ex wife isn't driving a mercedes or buying Louis Vitton handbags. The money from the second job should somehow help your daughters life be better in some way shape or form. Most people don't work 2 jobs unless they REALLY have to, OR to provide a better life.

That is where I have an issue.

When we got divorced she had finished school, no job yet and I get a call one day to pick my daughter up from school (I worked night shift at the time and this was not the routine we had in place). I was simply asked to get her cause my ex said she couldn't drive. None of it made sense until I dropped my daughter off to find her resting at her parents house, all bandaged up with her two new investments.

Cut to now...

She's got the lake house, all the bags, a new s7 in the garage and my daughter comes over with clothes on that don't fit. Everything I buy her normally ends up going over there as well. So, I think that is why I'm hung up on it. I don't want to be, but I am.

All the advice here is typically solid, and I do try my best to absorb it and apply it to my daily thought process. I'm human so I do fail, but I will keep trying.

Today was fun cause after finding out about this and requesting that information from her, she tells me that we should have these talks face to face (probably wants to avoid documentation of it), and that she wasn't hiding it from me, however, she spoke to her lawyer about it prior to us talking and was told not to tell me anything.

So, that is what I'm currently up against.

An ex that claims she's not trying to manipulate anything and that she wants to talk while actively proclaiming how she is doing the opposite.

Dude, bitches always leap frog to the next guy, and unless they are drug addicts or general low life's, they usually swing up a couple of rungs.

It's what they do.

So she's got the house, the lake, all the shit - who cares? Don't let her have your piece of mind too.

The sooner you let it go, the better.

I think I would have a conversation in person and shame her (nicely) for buying all of these expensive useless items and your daughter has clothes on that don't fit.

BUT, I've found that never helps usually. I would make a comment, while you're out buying yourself expensive purses and BS, don't you think you can buy your daughter clothes that fit.

I would be pissed too......but think of it this way.....it's a blessing, because whatever child support you're paying her is CHEAP to whatever she would have cost you in the long run with her expensive tastes and she would've been cheating behind your back the whole time too if you stayed married to her, probably.

I'm in the middle of a divorce. No kids, so I have no experience, but my brother divorced three years ago after 15 years of marriage and with two kids.

It was amicable enough, no alimony, she wanted $900/month in child support, because of their incomes, she would only get $28/month. He offered her $600/mo to stay off his pension, she agreed to $400/mo.

He's a cop, she knows he can work extra jobs and that they are so shorthanded he gets lots of overtime. She hasn't gone back to ask for an increase. He knows she got promoted at work and is making more than him now, he hasn't asked for a decrease.

They do everything they can to make it work for the kids. As long as the kids are happy and provided for, they don't care what each other buys for themselves (She went and bought a Camaro convertible after their divorce which is the car he wanted, but I've seen him drive it a few times so they must trade cars sometimes).

The cops in her city called him in the middle of the night because she locked herself out of her house without keys or phone and he went to go unlock her door for her. They're planning on going on vacation with their kids next month, together, to go visit his first son from another mother, at an Army base and they're staying together. They both date other people. He gets along with her new boyfriend and she gets along (for the most part) with his new girlfriend (his new girlfriend is younger than his oldest child which I think is strange)

It's the strangest divorce I have seen.

But I guess my point is, they're making it work for the kids. Life is short, there's no time for hate.