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| Member |
Cause, who cares if that meant I was supposed to see a dip in my child support? Oh, and I'm apparently the jerk for bringing it up. Cool. | ||
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A Grateful American |
Contact your attorny, with a brief, bulleted statement of the facts you have, and let him advise you. You may have recourse if the MSA and or decree has language about such things. Otherwise, you don't need to waste energy on what you might have no control over. And be mindful why, and that, you are no longer married to her. If you let her manipulate you with words and actions, she "owns" you. Be Dave. Don't give a fuck. But don't eat anymore shit sandwiches. either. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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Member |
MG, I wonder if she reports it as income with her taxes? Regards, Will G. | |||
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| Member |
Agree with above. Do not deal with her directly and do not allow her continue to rent space in your head for free. | |||
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| Member |
It's been a fun few years of divorce so far. I've vented on here more times that I can even think. At this point, I have a routine with her she just keeps inventing new ways to be a c**t. Our daughter told me about her new job, so I just simply asked for the updated pay stubs as my job also changed in October and I wanted to re-evaluate the normal stuff. Her new job, turned out to be a second job. She didn't think it mattered to me, and didn't see the drop in my child support to be a big deal. The moron she is, I've got that all in writing as well. Blood pressure raised, and just very happy to no longer be with her outside of our daughter. | |||
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| Member |
I would only communicate through an attorney if that were financially realistic in anyway, shape or form. Sadly, things on the daily still need to be discussed in the moment, so for now I'm doomed to suffer several more years. | |||
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| A Grateful American |
(this is not a rant against women, it goes for any toxic relationship...) You got to quit the bitch cold turkey. You only have the children in common after the big D. If you play her game, then you will be "doomed to suffer...", but only if you allow it. You can communicate to her directly, that you will not tolerate, endure, nor give her pleasure to say or do anything except that which is in the best interest of your child(ren) and is not in accordance with the MSA or decree. I do not intent to be harsh, but reach down between your legs and grab, unless she was granted your balls in the divorce, you have some. Use them. If you have any other "business", like support payments, spousal support, insurance, medical coverage etc. those are all "strictly business" and no emotion. If you allow her any behavior, acts, deeds, or words to influence you, take note of the bold. It's all your's to own. You may feel or believe you need or are owed some justice for somethings that occurred before the divorce, but you are not. Get beyond that, today, now. Live your life, free and clear. That is the only way you will be able to find contentment, peace and the best relationship with your daughter (and any other children you may have.) Treat any and all things as business. No emotion. You do not need to be snarky, mean spirited or any such shit, just make it clear that you are not playing games. She will figure out soon enough what happens when she keeps "slapping a cactus". And I am not at all cavalier about any of this. "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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| Member |
Oh she only gets the specifics from me. I've made a few attempts at being nice and polite, that ended a few years ago when she attempted to blackmail me for money to see my daughter. That also went to the local agency and lawyers. Long story short, the state of GA doesn't give two shits about half the things she's done even with documented evidence. As a few lawyers in the area have told me, "outside of being 'terminal' the court doesn't give a shit about me."This message has been edited. Last edited by: modestglock26, | |||
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| No, not like Bill Clinton  |
I'm in GA too, also found out the hard way that the Mom can do no wrong. I think she would have to be a Meth ho living under a bridge for the courts to hear me. I feel your pain I did let it go though, too much stress. I just decided to pay up and let my kids know I love them. A lot | |||
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| Member |
Interesting that CHILD support decreases with increased income of the custodial parent. Certainly, a change in income of the paying parent, warrants reevaluation, but this? Be happy your Ex is willing to work hard. Bound to benefit your child in multiple ways. Don't be surprised if your move causes her to quit that second job. | |||
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Member |
That's the way it is in GA now and it's actually better. The formula used to be 20% gross income for the first and 28% total gross for the the second child. If you were making $100m per year, that would be $20m gross which is taken out of net. Now the court evaluates the income of both parents regardless of custodian because it was previously unfairly biases against the dad. What if the dad made $100m and the mom made $100m gross herself. Under the old system, the dad got penalized unfairly. Granted now, the OP has to go back to court periodically to revisit the current incomes of both and that costs money but it's a hell of a lot better than the way it used to be. | |||
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| Member |
Correct, her income as well as mine both play a part in the equation the state uses to assign our %'s of what each of us are supposed to pay towards her total child support amount per month. When the ex wife takes job 2 and boosts her income, mixed with mine slightly dropping, it changes the amounts on both her and my end. Only, in this case it would've caused me to pay slightly less, so she was taking advantage of hiding that and happily taking the extra funds from me. She plans on quitting all of them anyways cause I was just told of the recent secret plan to homeschool our daughter against what I've advised. | |||
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| Member |
Sums it up better than I could. The kicker is she makes double my salary with her one job alone. Thank goodness for me paying and putting her through college! With her second job, it's just a slap in the face that she doesn't have the capacity to act like an adult and notify me of the change so that I can pay out of pocket to update the papers if I want to. In her opinion, it's just not that big of a deal and we should talk about it "at some point" vs a few months ago when she took job #2 and started the trend of me paying more than I legally should be. | |||
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| Member |
so what are you gonna do if/when she decides to quit the second job rather than allow you to reduce your child support? | |||
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| Member |
She won't simply because she's trying to get in at the new hospital closer to home. Honestly, I'm going to keep paying full pop and not change a thing. She can work both and live however she wants. My daughter and I have an amazing time together and I'm not going to file papers that cost me $1k + to save $40. It's all for the pleasure of making her aware that I know she is a POS. She let me know that either way in August she is quitting one of them, so it wouldn't matter long term anyways. On top of that, she's planning to quit work altogether to homeschool and live the dream. So now that I've put her through college, she has the lake house and the new Audi, she can finally kick back and live the good life. | |||
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Hoping for better pharmaceuticals |
In AZ you are required to exchange tax returns each year. Her W2 for her second job should accompany the return. Her increase in income may not affect your child support too much though. Your state should have the sample form to fill out to determine child support for both parties. Put the numbers in and see if you really have enough of a change to invest in a lawyer pleading your case to the court. Good luck though. Getting shot is no achievement. Hitting your enemy is. NRA Endowment Member . NRA instructor | |||
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| Member |
[ That makes perfect sense. If you continue to fight with your exwife your relationship with your daughter will go rapidly downhill. The best thing for you is to hope that your exwife finds happiness with someone else and leaves you alone. | |||
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| Member |
You know, there's other things to think about it. Provided your ex wife isn't driving a mercedes or buying Louis Vitton handbags. The money from the second job should somehow help your daughters life be better in some way shape or form. Most people don't work 2 jobs unless they REALLY have to, OR to provide a better life. | |||
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| Little ray of sunshine  |
Your state's child support system is very different from the Texas system, so I can't give you any specific advice. But if extra income to her changes your support obligation, process that in the way required by law. As someone else said, handle it in a business-like way. Don't let her get to you. The fish is mute, expressionless. The fish doesn't think because the fish knows everything. | |||
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Member |
As a divorced father who has many crazy "ex wife" stories I had a long winded reply ready to send, but Jimmy's words state what I was going to state more succinctly.
Unless we're talking thousands of dollars difference within a year, I’d let it slide. Your daughter is the priority here. Focus on spending quality time with your daughter. Never speak poorly of your “ex” in front of daughter. Remain firm but polite with your "ex" with things that really matter. Try not to let the "ex" get in your head. Life gets better  | |||
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