Now here is a topic that I am sure everyone will just want to read and jump in with personal stories... LOL

So,.... Last Tuesday, right as I was driving home from work, the little bastard decided to blow out. No leaks, but sitting on a golfball would be descriptive of the situation. I had a colonoscopy done last fall and the Doc was kind enough to tell me that I had them. He just did not tell me how much he had just butchered them. January comes and I get a blowout. A week later after no relief by my own efforts, I called up the office of a guy that a friend uses, and made an appointment.

Now for those of you that have never experienced this kind of examination, let me clue you in a little bit. The Nurse holds up a piece of fabric that looks like a couple sections of paper towels. This is for you to hide behind while you drop your drawers. You know, privacy et all. There is a little platform for your knees, so you take a knee and bend over the "table". Someone stomps on a couple of floor switches and your asre is facing the ceiling.

Doc grabs, and spreads them, and says "That's a big one! You want that removed, right?" I stifled a laugh. He said, "this is going to hurt a little when I give you the shot." It did. From that point on it felt like someone was pulling and tugging and trying to fit in a mason jar!

I had a couple days of issue to deal with, but not a lot of pain so to speak. Damn, I must be a He-Man to go thru this and not feel all the pain that I had heard about. A few Sitz baths, a few days of my feminine side with panty liners, etc. Not so bad.

Fast forward to last week in my story. Wednesday, I get up, still have my little friend, place a call at 0830 to the Dr's office. Can you get me in today! The lady tells me "don't know, cus we are trying to keep the waiting room empty during... I'll call you back." She does and I can get in at 1130.

I'm on pins and needles waiting to leave...

I get there, hide behind the little towel, trying not to have eye contact. Doc comes in, spreads them, and says "That's huge, I can't do fix that here. You will have to go to the hospital!"

Wait? What? When can that happen? The Nurse holds up the towel again, and I pull up my drawers and pants. I am really wondering what part of her view is being hidden by the little towel?

The Doc says that the procedure should take 30 minutes, and that he would take care of everything while he was in there. And, that I would have 95% chance of this never happening again! Great! I like those odds. (I believe in fairy tales too)

Don't let your mind wander on the "in there" part...

OK, long story getting shorter here. My 30 minutes turned into an hour and half! That makes me one hemorrhoid making wonder boy!

I'm all good till the drugs wear off right about bedtime. No sleep, No joy, a hell of a lot of pain. Doc was right, he said it would hurt more. I spent Friday trying to pee, Saturday trying to take a crap, today trying to walk upright.

Things will get better; I just have to wait a little bit longer.

First BM after colorectal surgery is a life altering experience. It truly set a new definition for 10 on the pain scale of 1 to 10.

Oh, the fun times! Like passing a cactus.

And then there's "baboon ass!"

Ya know when the next "what did you want to aquire after reading about on the SIGforum" thread?

Remember I said this was not one of those things.

Cus, nope.



Get better, stay better.

Why did I click on this thread?

been there = done that = got the t-shirt. winter 1969 US Army in Korea. military doctors. left my indented fingerprints in a stainless steel exam table. 1 hour after surgery catching a ride in the back of 2 1/2 ton box back supply truck. approx 50 mile ride. when I got out of truck I had gained a lot of weight because the pockets of the field pants and pockets in the winter parka were full of fresh fruit . truck was a officers mess supply delivery. upon arrival back at my unit I had to share in the fruit bounty with my fellow section team members. ............drill sgt.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: drill sgt,

Been dealing with that certain issue for years... with out medical help.... I will say there is one thing I would never recommend ... do not try to stop the pain by self applying.... Absorbine Plus... Aspercreme works... the Absorbine Plus ... I came as close to blacking out as is possible...

Don't 'Effing cough!!!

Here I was thinking about having my ‘roids checked out. Nope, I’ll continue farting so loud that it wakes the neighbors. I can’t decide whether I belong in the brass or wind section of the symphony.

After the OP, I’ll be sitting tight. Not gonna risk it.

Many years ago I had several separate trips, spread over a couple years, to the proctologist to have them removed under local anesthetic in his office. Worked pretty well each time (except for the one time that it took me an hour to get home and the local wore off in about 30 minutes - that was more excitement than I needed ).
A few years ago they returned in full-force and effect and I had surgery under a general anesthetic. I made a huge mistake and tried to avoid the pain killers during the first few days of recoup. Felt like a Saturn 5 was shoved up and ignited! However, problem has not returned since for which I am VERY grateful!

I had a fissure once. Like shitting broken glass.

800 views but only a few responses c'mon what are guys hiding??

Ok so being on topic I have also been SUFFERING with some of the same issues. It hurts so bad to go I have changed from a daily to every other or so. I don't know if it's a hemi or fissure. Very little to no blood but will hurt like hell leaving and pain continues til it stops. I have tried ice,warmth, Advil was working but not much anymore. Then I can go for weeks/months without an issue til it returns. I hate dr's but can't stand the HOT needle in the @ss for much longer.
For my own sanity I will wait til this china flu is "gone" before I seek medical help. What can I use in the meantime to ease my pain??

quote:

Originally posted by PowerSurge:
Why did I click on this thread?

Maybe you were hoping for pictures? (just kidding) I used too have the anal cyst issues until I had to go to the ER one night. The nurse practitioner basically reamed it out with a scalpel. When she was finished, I almost asked "Does this mean we're engaged?"

Ouch! I thought this might have been about a marital breakup...

quote:

What can I use in the meantime to ease my pain??

All I can say is try getting a Sitz Bath kit. Basically a tub that fits over the toilet. Hot as you can stand water that you have added epsom salts to. You can get this at a local pharmacy. I was told to do this up to 8 times a day right after the surgery.

Witch Hazel is a liquid that helps with pain, itching, etc. Can come in a container with wipes, or in a bottle. This helps a lot. I would go ahead and find a colon doc and get things checked out. Yo probably will not have to wait till the covid ends.

Let me tell you, it is better to just bite the bullet (gun forum) and get it looked at, instead of trying to live with it.

Good Luck.

I have some witch hazel I can try. What about preparation H ? I'm gonna hit the cvs sat and will try anything.

^^^^
The bath kits help. But, I strongly suggest you go to Wally World and buy the following:

1. Equate hemorrhoid suppositories,
2. Equate hemorrhoid cream (not ointment),
3. Equate hemorrhoid wipes; and
4. Equate hemorrhoid relief cream with 5% lidocaine. If you can’t find the lidocaine cream, look for sunburn gel with lidocaine and aloe vera. I’d strongly recommend you don’t buy anything with alcohol in it. Trust me on that.

Why Equate? It’s substantially cheaper than anything else including CVS branded stuff and just as good.