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| Jack of All Trades, Master of Nothing  |
I am truly starting to loathe being staffed in triage. The questions that I'd really like to ask. How is it that you claim to have an allergy to Tylenol but you're here tonight because you lost your last prescription for percocet? Do you really have allergies to 21 different medications or are you just batshit crazy? How is it you're still alive when you claim to have an allergy to iron? Why are you here tonight? No, I don't care what happened 6 years ago, why are you here tonight? Would you mind stepping up on the scale? Sorry, I'm going to call bullshit that with your 62" of height and 42" waist line that you weigh 135lbs. On a scale of 1 to 10, please rate your pain. Keep in mind 0 is no pain and 10 is having your face melted off with a blow torch, so with that said, where on that scale does your ingrown toe nail rate? Really? You're here because you think you're pregnant? Did you try going to Wal-Mart across the street first and looking the pharmacy section for a stick to pee on? How is it that the spider bite that's turned into an abscess is right on top of a vein? Was it a vampire spider or a methylantula? So how exactly did you find out that you have an allergy to haldol? Could you please list your medical complaint as something that I don't have to look up on Urban Dictionary? My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball. | ||
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always with a hat or sunscreen |
Working in the ER has to be like dealing with an alien invasion. You have my appreciation and sympathy. As an aside my first and most memorable ER experience was after I was in an auto accident when I was 20. The horn ring on my '67 Mustang had just missed taking an eye out but still had cut deep and long from the eye socket. Triage had me queued for a doc with tiny suture skills to minimize the scars. My brother brought my mom in after they were both notified that I had totaled my car. We all sat together waiting. Next to us was a young gal who worked as a local stripper that had a beer bottle "stuck" apparently from suction "down there." She was only one of a number of otherworldly characters that passed through during our wait. Talk about making my mom uncomfortable. Of course my younger brother had a hard time containing himself which didn't help any. A night I'll never forget. Certifiable member of the gun toting, septuagenarian, bucket list workin', crazed retiree, bald is beautiful club! USN (RET), COTEP #192 | |||
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Misanthropic Philanthrope |
Try this one: Have you ever been the victim of a homicide?  ___________________________ Originally posted by Psychobastard: Well, we "gave them democracy"... not unlike giving a monkey a loaded gun. | |||
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A Grateful American |
Sat there wide eyed, eh? <snicker> "the meaning of life, is to give life meaning" ✡ Ani Yehudi אני יהודי Le'olam lo shuv לעולם לא שוב! | |||
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Member |
I remember reading about Haldol maybe forty years ago or more and it seemed to have more side-effects than I'd seen, most of them were ugly to catastrophic. I don't recall sniffles and sneezing being on the list, coulda been.  Set the controls for the heart of the Sun. | |||
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chickenshit |
That is an excellent post. I chuckled. ____________________________ Yes, Para does appreciate humor. | |||
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| Member |
Working triage is the one of few things in live that is more "fun" than working EMS.....  _________ Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right. Henry Ford | |||
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Step by step walk the thousand mile road |
Then there is my own experience on the other side of the triage, i.e., as the patient. My worst cluster headache had my wife take me to the ER at 0300. The Emergency Room Tech was very dismissive of my claims to have a murderously painful cluster headache. He clearly thought I was faking pain in an attempt to get drugs. So there he is taking my blood pressure. < Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Pump Stop As he kept pumping, his eyes began to take on the cast of the ER Tech who knows he's made a bad call on someone's condition. My BP was 295/210. That got his attention, got me wheeled into the care area rickytickquick, and the doc asking me what was normally done for my cluster headaches, because he saw my medical history at that hospital was annotated that I was a diagnosed CH patient. I replied "15L/min of O2 via a non-rebreather mask, a normal saline line KVO, and could you please give me some Phenergan so I don't feel like vomiting." My point here is never dismiss a patient. Treat them equally, because one day you might take the BP of a patient like me, or more importantly, you might have a patient like I saw be dismissed by an ambulance crew who brought her in for a "headache." The tech coming on as I was leaving went to take her vitals and discovered a single blown pupil. Cerebral hemorrhage in a 24 yo female. She died the next day in the ICU. Nice is overrated "It's every freedom-loving individual's duty to lie to the government." Airsoftguy, June 29, 2018 | |||
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| Too soon old, too late smart |
A pinched nerve in my back had my left arm feeling like it was on fire. It was scary painful. The meds my doctor gave me didn’t do any good so, I finally gave up and went to the ER, where a nurse kept hectoring me to rate my pain on a scale of 1 to 10. I didn’t have the foggiest idea how to do that with any accuracy. So, how does it help for someone to just pull a number out of the air?
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אַרְיֵה |
3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939 הרחפת שלי מלאה בצלופחים | |||
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| Member |
My last trip to the ER I got to listen to the patient in the next room (separated by a curtain)who was given Narcan for their overdose. I was surprised the doctor didn't just outright call the guy a liar. He had only been using Heroin "a week" before he caught a bad shot. | |||
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| Member |
In the '70's I dated a Nurse who worked in ER in a downtown Reading Community Hospital. The work related tales she told at parties (patient names omitted) got us invited to many parties. ********* "Some people are alive today because it's against the law to kill them". | |||
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Almost as Fast as a Speeding Bullet |
Last time I was in an ER as a customer, the triage nurse asked why I was there. "I fought the rock and the rock won." After getting a bit of a blank stare I held up the arm that needed 15 stitches. At least I thought it was funny. LOL ______________________________________________ Aeronautics confers beauty and grandeur, combining art and science for those who devote themselves to it. . . . The aeronaut, free in space, sailing in the infinite, loses himself in the immense undulations of nature. He climbs, he rises, he soars, he reigns, he hurtles the proud vault of the azure sky. — Georges Besançon | |||
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| Member |
2000Z-71: I feel your pain. I currently work at a local hospital, and for the last 19 1/2yrs as an armed Security Officer/911 Emergency Medical Dispatcher. The only reason I have not retired yet, I have a front row seat to the greatest show in the county. I am sticking around to see what comes in next. Just when I thought I had seen it all, something comes in and it just blows me away the amount of stupidity some people use to get hurt. Some use alot, some don't have to use any!! For Those Who Fight For It, Life has a Special Flavor the protected never know.... Khe Sahn "68" Unknown Marine | |||
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Equal Opportunity Mocker |
Mmmmm. Cherry. ________________________________________________ "You cannot legislate the poor into freedom by legislating the wealthy out of freedom. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving." -Dr. Adrian Rogers | |||
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| Member |
During my glorious career in Law Enforcement, I would end up in the ER. I greeted medical staff with this statement: "I am reasonably sane, quite sober and have heath care insurance". Always got first class care after I said that. End of Earth: 2 Miles Upper Peninsula: 4 Miles | |||
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| Jack of All Trades, Master of Nothing |
What's even better is triaging a patient, having them insist their fibromyalgia has crippled them so they are no longer ambulatory, insisting on wheelchairs and heavy assistance transferring from chair to bed, bed to commode, etc., then seeing them drinking and dancing on the lawn at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. My daughter can deflate your daughter's soccer ball. | |||
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I'm Different! |
Oh the stories I could tell. I hated triage mainly because all the "Ask a Nurse" phone call got transferred there. Our ER waiting room had windows facing the street, so I could watch patients walk normally up the street & as soon as they got to the door they'd suddenly develop such severe symptoms that they couldn't move. The patient with such severe back spasm pain rocking back & forth in triage. The same guy that as I was rushing a gurney out to the driveway to grab a shooting victim (counted 5 holes in quick exam) decided to roll around on the floor in my way. The patient w/ a complaint of congestion for 6 weeks complaining about a 3 hour wait threatening to sue for the wait. Patient & companion asking for cab tickets a7 after being told they had been discontinued asked for the location of the ATM. Getting a patient out of a car with a tri-malleolar (the 3 connections from leg to ankle) ankle fracture with his foot only being held to his leg by skin. Observing the PID shuffle. The number of assaults by "these two dudes" The only time I heard the waiting room go quiet & stop complaining was when a father brought in an unresponsive infant that I grabbed, immediately started CPR & rushed back into the main department. No one in the waiting room complained for a while. From the Emergency Nursing World Humor section:
Lots more great stuff there! “Agnostic, gun owning, conservative, college educated hillbilly” | |||
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| I have not yet begun to procrastinate |
The conversations aren't any better in their living room that smells like a full cat box mixed with BO and booze tainted barf. Look at the bright side, the last 10 wastes of skin that the ambo brought in kept you from seeing the last 15 wastes of skin that DIDN'T get transported.  -------- After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. | |||
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Telecom Ronin |
Funny about the kidney stone shuffle.....when I had mine I walked into the ER....knew the doc due to my son being there several times, he looks at as I walk through the door and said " kidney stone eh....come on in" My favorite is being on leave and ending on in the ER with my finger cut to the tendon, " yes ma'am I am sober and yes I said the injury was caused by a sword fight" Doc thought it was funny....so did I until he stuck the needle in..... | |||
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