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When did it become an obligation for parents to fund their kids' college education?
July 19, 2017, 10:57 AM
RHINOWSOWhen did it become an obligation for parents to fund their kids' college education?
It's not an obligation you are required to do.
I plan on assisting with some money we have saved, some room & board, etc - as long as they are actively pursuing a goal.
Just 'going to school' isn't an option and just 'passing' isn't either. All 'A's with a rare 'B's is all I'll pay for.
Not paying for an useless degrees either, ones where the juice isn't worth the squeeze. English, history, post-Renaissance literature, art, etc --> go to a library and read about that FOR FREE in your spare time as a hobby.
July 19, 2017, 11:30 AM
L90814My parents couldn't afford to put me through college. So, it was graduate high school in June, and U.S. Army in July for me. I was envious of the kids who were having fun while in college and vowed my child would get to be one of them someday. I've been doing pre-paid college payments since he was two. Two more years to go... He's worth every bit of it, as I could not have hoped for a better son.
At this point, his goal is to be a chemical engineer, after going through Air Force ROTC, serving his duty time, and obtaining his master's degree.
July 19, 2017, 12:31 PM
Palmquote:
Originally posted by L90814:
He's worth every bit of it, as I could not have hoped for a better son.
At this point, his goal is to be a chemical engineer, after going through Air Force ROTC, serving his duty time, and obtaining his master's degree.
And this is exactly the type of kid who should enjoy the benefit of a parent sponsored undergraduate degree. Someone with a plan and a good head on his shoulders already. Good for you all around.
July 19, 2017, 01:36 PM
46and2I wouldn't call it an obligation, but I consider it a good idea - depending on the kid and degree program in question.
July 20, 2017, 04:05 AM
sourdough44Our oldest is 21. I/we have helped him through most of college, he has a pretty good part time job to go along with it.
I have groomed him to the idea that we would be most helpful, as long as he's doing his part. That mostly means taking things serious, good grades, in a worthwhile field. He has one year left, I've gradually backed off the casual spending $$.
I've put retirement type savings ahead of paying for college. I have no qualms against helping with most of college expenses, under the right circumstances. He is appreciative of the idea of coming out with no loans.
July 20, 2017, 10:48 AM
bubbatimequote:
Originally posted by joatmonv:
As a side note, she did tell me that what I made last year isn't helping her secure a student loan.
This HUGELY chapped my ass when I was applying for student loans. My parents didn't give me even a penny for college, yet I need to put my parents income down on the form??!! What the fuck for? It didn't matter if my parents were Bill Gates or living in a van down by the river, they sure as shit didn't give me any money. Should I put some other irrelevant shit down on the form such as my penis size?
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July 20, 2017, 01:56 PM
AeteoclesTimes have changed. Neither good nor bad, it's just different.
There was a time, not too long ago, where walking out the door at 18 meant freedom and endless opportunities. Education was cheap if you wanted it, but you didn't even really need it--you could go out and get a blue collar job and provide a decent living for you and family. A decent living meant a mortgage, a car payment, and a wife at home holding down the fort.
It's not quite the same these days. A college degree is almost mandatory in this economy. Employers for even basic jobs will often require a Bachelors or at least an Associates. But even basic jobs don't really guarantee a "decent" living these days. Imagine the sort of job you can get today at age 20 or 22 today with only an AA, and you certainly aren't going to imagine a house, a car, and a stay-at-home spouse with a kid or two being very comfortable.
Things really aren't the same these days. A college degree is overwhelmingly expensive for most people. So much so, that loans are pretty much the norm for people whose parents aren't helping with the bill. In-state tuition can run as much as $15k a year, plus living expenses in college towns are typically off-the-charts, and you'll see that working part-time through college will only put a dent in the total bill.
Faced with this environment, parents are planning ahead. Yes, the money for college isn't needed until the kids are technically adults, so yes, you could just wave them goodbye and wish them luck. Or, as many parents choose to do, they plan for these obligations while their child is still a child. That's where the "obligation" comes in. For example, if your kid needs orthodontia, you can choose to let them handle it as an adult, or you can choose to do it while they're a kid. The only "obligation" to provide orthodontia for their kid is from parent to child to provide the best they can for them.
And so, it's the same for college. Yes, they will be adults when they need the money for college. But planning for it falls squarely during the period where the kids are still kids.
Part of parenting is equipping your kids to face adulthood. This means making sure they are clothed, fed, and educated as children. This means teaching them good character, integrity, perseverance, and mundane things like righty-tighty/lefty-loosey. But it also means things like set aside money for your retirement and healthcare so you aren't a burden on them in the future, and helping them plan for their future. Sometimes that planning means letting your kids know that they'll need to work a few years before they start college, or letting them know that they'll be completely reliant on loans, or in some cases setting aside some money for them each year.
If you plan ahead correctly, it's not so much like writing a check for your kid when they turn 18...but more like giving them access to the money that you had helped them save while they were children.
July 20, 2017, 02:44 PM
LS1 GTOI don't believe it is an obligation, I believe it is the best gift a parent can give to his/her/their child.
A parent's job is the prepare the off-spring for the world and to do the best they can to put the off-spring in a position where they are better (smarter, more prosperous, longer life, etc) than the parent.
Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
"If dogs don't go to Heaven, I want to go where they go" Will Rogers
The definition of the words we used, carry a meaning of their own...
July 20, 2017, 03:03 PM
AirmanJeffquote:
Originally posted by Aeteocles:
Times have changed. Neither good nor bad, it's just different.
There was a time, not too long ago, where walking out the door at 18 meant freedom and endless opportunities. Education was cheap if you wanted it, but you didn't even really need it--you could go out and get a blue collar job and provide a decent living for you and family. A decent living meant a mortgage, a car payment, and a wife at home holding down the fort.
It's not quite the same these days. A college degree is almost mandatory in this economy. Employers for even basic jobs will often require a Bachelors or at least an Associates. But even basic jobs don't really guarantee a "decent" living these days. Imagine the sort of job you can get today at age 20 or 22 today with only an AA, and you certainly aren't going to imagine a house, a car, and a stay-at-home spouse with a kid or two being very comfortable.
Things really aren't the same these days. A college degree is overwhelmingly expensive for most people. So much so, that loans are pretty much the norm for people whose parents aren't helping with the bill. In-state tuition can run as much as $15k a year, plus living expenses in college towns are typically off-the-charts, and you'll see that working part-time through college will only put a dent in the total bill.
Faced with this environment, parents are planning ahead. Yes, the money for college isn't needed until the kids are technically adults, so yes, you could just wave them goodbye and wish them luck. Or, as many parents choose to do, they plan for these obligations while their child is still a child. That's where the "obligation" comes in. For example, if your kid needs orthodontia, you can choose to let them handle it as an adult, or you can choose to do it while they're a kid. The only "obligation" to provide orthodontia for their kid is from parent to child to provide the best they can for them.
And so, it's the same for college. Yes, they will be adults when they need the money for college. But planning for it falls squarely during the period where the kids are still kids.
Part of parenting is equipping your kids to face adulthood. This means making sure they are clothed, fed, and educated as children. This means teaching them good character, integrity, perseverance, and mundane things like righty-tighty/lefty-loosey. But it also means things like set aside money for your retirement and healthcare so you aren't a burden on them in the future, and helping them plan for their future. Sometimes that planning means letting your kids know that they'll need to work a few years before they start college, or letting them know that they'll be completely reliant on loans, or in some cases setting aside some money for them each year.
If you plan ahead correctly, it's not so much like writing a check for your kid when they turn 18...but more like giving them access to the money that you had helped them save while they were children.
Great post.
Things are very different now. The cost of education being one of them.
We are saving a very small amount every month for our three children. I am hoping to contribute more in the future, but the way I look at it - something is better than nothing. I am hopeful that by the time they are 18 I can give them at least enough money for half of a four year degree.
July 20, 2017, 03:14 PM
tatortoddI have friends who went to court for divorce (i.e. didn't settle amicably) and the judge ordered child support to 18 and pay for college. It's bad enough the kids feel entitled but some of the courts too...
Ego is the anesthesia that deadens the pain of stupidity
DISCLAIMER: These are the author's own personal views and do not represent the views of the author's employer. July 20, 2017, 03:19 PM
Pale Horsequote:
Originally posted by Aeteocles:
Times have changed. Neither good nor bad, it's just different.
There was a time, not too long ago, where walking out the door at 18 meant freedom and endless opportunities. Education was cheap if you wanted it, but you didn't even really need it--you could go out and get a blue collar job and provide a decent living for you and family. A decent living meant a mortgage, a car payment, and a wife at home holding down the fort.
It's not quite the same these days. A college degree is almost mandatory in this economy. Employers for even basic jobs will often require a Bachelors or at least an Associates. But even basic jobs don't really guarantee a "decent" living these days. Imagine the sort of job you can get today at age 20 or 22 today with only an AA, and you certainly aren't going to imagine a house, a car, and a stay-at-home spouse with a kid or two being very comfortable.
Things really aren't the same these days. A college degree is overwhelmingly expensive for most people. So much so, that loans are pretty much the norm for people whose parents aren't helping with the bill. In-state tuition can run as much as $15k a year, plus living expenses in college towns are typically off-the-charts, and you'll see that working part-time through college will only put a dent in the total bill.
Faced with this environment, parents are planning ahead. Yes, the money for college isn't needed until the kids are technically adults, so yes, you could just wave them goodbye and wish them luck. Or, as many parents choose to do, they plan for these obligations while their child is still a child. That's where the "obligation" comes in. For example, if your kid needs orthodontia, you can choose to let them handle it as an adult, or you can choose to do it while they're a kid. The only "obligation" to provide orthodontia for their kid is from parent to child to provide the best they can for them.
And so, it's the same for college. Yes, they will be adults when they need the money for college. But planning for it falls squarely during the period where the kids are still kids.
Part of parenting is equipping your kids to face adulthood. This means making sure they are clothed, fed, and educated as children. This means teaching them good character, integrity, perseverance, and mundane things like righty-tighty/lefty-loosey. But it also means things like set aside money for your retirement and healthcare so you aren't a burden on them in the future, and helping them plan for their future. Sometimes that planning means letting your kids know that they'll need to work a few years before they start college, or letting them know that they'll be completely reliant on loans, or in some cases setting aside some money for them each year.
If you plan ahead correctly, it's not so much like writing a check for your kid when they turn 18...but more like giving them access to the money that you had helped them save while they were children.
Excellent post
“Everybody wants a Sig in the sheets but a Glock on the streets.” -bionic218 04-02-2014
July 20, 2017, 06:08 PM
Elk Hunterquote:
"You're 18. Adios. You're on your own."
Dang! What took them so long?

I worked while going to school, paid room and board from age 14, until at age 17 was told to join the army. I did. But that was the second time I left. First time was a year earlier at age 16 when I ended up working on a farm in Bend Oregon. Dad came to get me, convinced me to come back home. Big battle was always between me and mom. Over the really small shit!
I started doing the family laundry at age 10 when my brother was born, did KP duty in the home kitchen at the same time, and it continued until I left at 17.
The VA funded some of my education, IBM funded some as well.
BS: Human Relations (aka back then as people management)
BS: Production Management
AA: Accounting
Minor in Economics
MBA in finance
All of which was done while working 50-60 hours a week for IBM.
Do parents have an obligation to fund their kids' college?
Who the hell can afford college in this day and age?
Kids leaving college with upwards of $100K in debt, etc etc.
Elk
There has never been an occasion where a people gave up their weapons in the interest of peace that didn't end in their massacre. (Louis L'Amour)
"To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical. "
-Thomas Jefferson
"America is great because she is good. If America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great." Alexis de Tocqueville
FBHO!!!
The Idaho Elk Hunter
July 20, 2017, 06:35 PM
Floyd D. BarberNot college, but put myself through trade school in the seventies and paying my parents rent.
Up at 5:30 work 6:30-2:30, home shower eat, drive 30 miles to school. 5:30-10:0 pm school, home a little before 11:00 repeat.
Paid for my schooling, got one of my dad's famous cursing rants when I brought home a grant application asking how much he made. He worked for one of the most high paying union jobs in the area.
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NRA Life Member
July 20, 2017, 07:00 PM
Sigmundquote:
Originally posted by L90814:
My parents couldn't afford to put me through college. So, it was graduate high school in June, and U.S. Army in July for me....
Same for me. Three years later I got out and went to a state school in NY using the GI Bill. I lived at home and made a small profit.
MANY years later, Mrs. Sigmund and I were in good shape and told our daughter we'd pay her way at any of the IA state schools. She finished on schedule though slightly over budget. She did an internship plus a study abroad and had a job lined up before she graduated, has been with the same company five years now.
Obligation? No.
July 20, 2017, 08:47 PM
Gustoferquote:
Originally posted by Elk Hunter:
Who the hell can afford college in this day and age?
Local community college is $2300/semester. X4 is $9200.
Montana State is $7100/year. X2 is $!4,200.
Grand total? $23,400.
Pretty much any kid can afford that. They can work summers and part-time/full-time to pay for room and board, and borrow/PELL/scholarship the rest. No problem.
quote:
Kids leaving college with upwards of $100K in debt, etc etc.
Any kid willing to pay $100K for a bachelor's degree isn't smart enough to be in college.
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"Great danger lies in the notion that we can reason with evil." Doug Patton.
July 20, 2017, 09:28 PM
Black92LXI do not see it as an obligation but a gift. I was fortunate enough that my father paid for 4 years of state school. I chose to go to private colleges (one of those being the most expensive University in Ohio at the time) so I had to foot the extra. I have had a job since I turned 14. I worked at least 20 hours a week in college during classes and for the first few weeks of summer break I worked 60-80 hours a week and scaled it back to 10 to 20 for the remainder of the summer.
With working thru college I managed to make it out of college with just shy of 20k in loans and paid that off in under 5 years.
I had no desire to go to college but I did not really have a choice if I wanted the money. I am thankful for that push to go to college. I am very glad I went to the schools I did though looking back it would be a state school for me and banked the cash from working through school or worked only in the summer.
I have started accounts for all 3 of my boys and plan to pay for 4 years of state school costs, anything more is on them.
They get a full ride or something like that they will have a nice down payment for their first home.
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July 20, 2017, 10:53 PM
AZSigsquote:
I was at a BBQ with a group of folks from work the other day and one of the gals was complaining about having to pay for her son's Master's Degree at the University of Washington.
Perhaps a liberal expecting her son to take care of her after he graduates. I've heard this from parents more than once.
Getting shot is no achievement. Hitting your enemy is. NRA Endowment Member . NRA instructor July 21, 2017, 03:13 PM
95flhrquote:
I was at a BBQ with a group of folks from work the other day and one of the gals was complaining about having to pay for her son's Master's Degree at the University of Washington.
I've had those looks from people as well with the way we handled it for out kids.
We paid for tuition room and board (dorms Only), they had to maintain a minimum of a B average. They were responsible for books, fees, transportation and spending money. People would tell me that was so unfair to expect them to work and pick up part of the cost.
Both kids graduated with better than 3.8 GPAs and had jobs the day they graduated. Neither have moved back in to this house and are doing very well on their own.
“Government exists to protect us from each other. Where government has gone beyond its limits is in deciding to protect us from ourselves.”
― Ronald Reagan
Retired old fart
July 22, 2017, 05:00 PM
Dead_EyeA major difference between a cheap college and an expensive one are the friends/contacts you make there. Friends in high places get their friends higher paying jobs. I have a friend of mine who makes $180k/year for a job that should pay ~$120k. It was a college contact that hired him.
On a similar note, he's currently paying for his three daughters to goto college... each one is $60k/year. With their scholarships he's breaking even but uses his entire income towards paying it and the expenses for him and his wife are taken out of their savings.
Is that crazy? To some yes, to others no but at the end of the day that's their decision and I respect it.
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July 22, 2017, 05:41 PM
PR64I was told when I graduate High School I had two choices.
#1 If I went to college I could live at home but my parents didn't have any money to pay for college.
#2 If I didn't go to college I was to move out and get a job.
I moved out got a job and payed for my own college education. I have no resentment or regrets on my decision.
You should have seen the look on my Moms face when she demanded to see my first College report card and I told her no. I told her that since I was paying for college myself as an adult that it was my business and not hers. She never asked me again.
If you can pay for your kids education that's great. If you can't that's called life...
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