While in class today my cell phone vibrated to let me know there was a phone call. I really don't get many calls during the day and use an app that blocks most calls. In between classes I saw I had a voce mail.
It seems that there are 4 warrants out for my arrest and if I don't call back the police will be out to arrest me Saturday. My app said the phone number given is linked to a credit card scam. I will be pretty embarrassed tomorrow at my son's wedding when the police come to arrest me.

You may have committed a horrendous crime or been part of a conspiracy to do some unspeakable evil you have forgotten about. When was the last time you pulled the tag off of a pillow?

Don't let them take you alive. Go out in a blaze of gory glory!

I was told the same thing about 6 months ago. They still haven't shown up and neither has the IRS. I'm getting suspicious.

Jim

HAVE NO FEAR!! For the low low price of $1499, I will happily take care of those warrants for you!

Did I say $1499, I meant $1099.

$799?


$14.99?

Hello? Hell . . . <<buzzz>> Huh, they hung up.

Crap.

The IRS called me, but didn't seem to want to talk to my accountant. Weird

Just call them back and let them know you're currently in talks with an American soldier who needs to transfer to you millions in gold bullion he captured in Iraq and you will gladly pay any fines that are attached to those warrants once you've secured those funds.

Wish i was going to jail. Mostly i just get calls from Rachel with Consumer Services about my credit card account.

I'll be in the cell next to you "when the cops at my door" arrest me for the three "serious" warrants out for me in New York are served, if I "don't call this number"...

I'll request a cell with a good window view for us all

Yeah, I keep getting the same calls, over and over.

I finally began to tell them to send a really pretty and hawt red head female cop, wearing high heels and leather mini skirt, to my door and to tell her to have the handcuffs dangling from her freshly manicured red fingertips. No problem, I'm perfectly willing to be compliant.

So far, nothing. They keep calling, I keep telling them my request. I'm so disappointed.

Take your piece and plenty of mags with you to the wedding just in case.
Go out in a blaze of glory.

Was it Steve Martin that called? He called us last year and said something similar. Still waiting......

You're in luck. They'll accept an iTunes gift card for your bail.

Call them back and tell them that if you're already going to jail finding and murdering their entire family probably won't be a big deal.

Head to Wal-Mart and get a bunch of gift cards, stat! That'll get rid of those warrants lickety split.

Told them to come out. I’d be in the back with the rifle, next to the wood chipper.
Better, I have a very loud whistle.

Say hi to my wife, the IRS threatened my wife with jail for the second time in a month........

I think the reason she didn't reply to the voicemail is that she wants a vacation from me.......

Apparently Rachael is one cheating slut. I thought she was all mine.

Ask them why they don't get an honest job. That really frosts them.

I have warrants for my arrest in St. Thomas and the Virgin Islands. That’s right I am a bad mother.....I should shut my mouth.

Sigh what bugs me is there are folks who actually buy this shit.

I mean seriously one murder in St. Thomas......it was vacations and a cruise excursion to boot, it’s not like they mattered.